[Alden]

As I search for a new therapist and before I give up my old (soon to be) therapist, there will come a time where I will be seeing more than one therapist at a time.

Do I tell them that I'm seeing another therapist, or do I just keep it simple and say nothing since it shouldn't have any impact on the early work we will be doing?

I'm not sure what to do on this one.

[Deejay14]

It's up to you but if you are going to drop the best or one what would be the reason?

[Lemoncake]

I don't see the problem with trying out a few sessions with different therapists at the same time until you find the one that clicks.

Some people see two as they provide different things.

[CantExplain]

Therapists can be very jealous! If they find out you've been seeing someone else...

[Echos Myron redux]

I would first ask their policy on seeing more than one T because some won't work with clients who see more than one. You don't want to be in a situation where you tell them you're seeing two and they refuse to work with you. If they are fine with you seeing two I personally would tell them, just so it doesn't end up being an unnecessary secret you have to remember not to disclose.

[MoxieDoxie]

I have seen two for a while before dropping one of them. I just did that this past week. Say two of them for 6 months. One T knew about the other one and the second T I told him about my other T on the first session but he seemed either not hear me or not remember so I never bothered reminding him. One I used for talk therapy the other was for EMDR/Trauma therapy.

I think therapy requires integrity to work.
Hiding any thing isn't wise.

[Echos Myron redux]

Originally Posted by Mouse_62

I think therapy requires integrity to work.
Hiding any thing isn't wise.

I disagree that hiding things compromises integrity. I believe in client autonomy and not all clients need to share everything.

Obviously lying about things directly pertaining to the therapy is unlikely to be helpful to the process, but omitting the fact they are seeing another therapist is another matter entirely. It is up to the individual to decide whether or not it is wise to share.

[wheeler]

Awhile ago I had been seeing a therapist and it really wasn’t working for me, we just didn’t click. Without telling that T I started looking for a new one. After a few interviews I felt like I was cheating on her so I told her. She was ok with it as she knew it wasn’t working either. She stayed my T until I found a new one. In fact she had given me a reccomendation for the new one.

Originally Posted by Echos Myron (again)

I disagree that hiding things compromises integrity. I believe in client autonomy and not all clients need to share everything.

Obviously lying about things directly pertaining to the therapy is unlikely to be helpful to the process, but omitting the fact they are seeing another therapist is another matter entirely. It is up to the individual to decide whether or not it is wise to share.

You're free to disagree, though that doesn't change my take on it. the splitting that would occur by seeing 2 T's would be present in the room. They would need talking about.

[SalingerEsme]

Keep it simple, and hold some of the cards. I read the Ethicist from the NYT on this topic lol and they said it is th client's business and no moral imperative to disclose.

[maybeblue]

Personally I wouldn't tell until you decide what you want to do. It sounds like you are preparing to quit seeing the first therapist, but want to make sure you have another one lined up before you do. To me that makes perfect sense. In that case I see no need to tell either of them about the other ever--unless you need to talk about things that happened with the first therapist to the second one.

If you decide to keep seeing both of them, you probably will at least need to mention it, because otherwise it gets difficult and awkward. I know this from experience because I decided to start seeing an eating disorder specialist, but I still had a long term therapist that I really liked. She was good with depression and anxiety, but not that great with eating disorders. Initially I didn't tell either of them about the other. I figured if it didn't work out with the second therapist the first therapist would never need to know.

Eventually though it did start to feel like a secret between me and the long term therapist. So I told her. I presented it like I would tell a GP about a specialist I was seeing. She was fine with it. It turns out though that eating disorders are never just eating disorders. It's all related. So I ended up talking about depression and anxiety with both of them. I have actually found it to be very helpful to have two of them. They have different perspectives which is interesting.

[nottrustin]

I guess it would depend on why you decided to see another T. If is you are because you want to find somebody else before terminating with current T then no I wouldn't say anything.

However if it because you are looking for somebody with a specialty then I personally would. Here's my experience with 2 T's. A few years ago T mentioned seeing somebody who was more specialized in trauma. I swear she mentioned EMDR but I refused. Then last year after feeling like things had changed with T and there was a distance, as a knee jerk reaction I mentioned seeing somebody for EMDR. At first it was like she was upset and said "I will support you in whatever helps and ehen you are done then you can return to me if you want" she did say it could be hard with 2 T's and insurance likely wouldn't cover. I told her the only way I would see the other person is I could continue to see her. So that is what we did. It helped that EMDR T recognized that T was my primary T with whom I had done great work with so they talked on the phone a couple of times so she could coordinate how she saw it working best so that she could be a supplement to T. T also respected that while she worked for 40 years with trauma EMDR T was more specialized because our talk therapy wasn't enough.

[peacelizard]

Not sure where you live or if you cover sessions primarily through health insurance, but one or both could find out what's going on if they try to bill for a session and get denied. Most insurance plans — don't pay for two therapists at the same time unless you/the therapists can convincingly argue need and how they're different, e.g. at one point, I was seeing my regular therapist who is more psychodynamic/interpersonal and "general" and also a CBT specialist my pdoc recommended for short, outpt work for social anxiety (lasted about 18 weeks). Both therapists said one or both could be denied when they bill for the session and I might need to cut back on seeing my regular therapist until I was done with CBT (or pay for one out of pocket). Surprisingly, it was never an issue. When I called the insurance company to find out if I'd run into a problem, the person didn't even bat an eye. So they paid for 18 weeks of an expensive CBT therapist, my regular therapist every week and 30 minute med check/therapy with my pdoc every 3-4 weeks. Never got a phone call, passive aggressive email/letter, bill etc.

That being said, I have a very good health insurance PPO plan through my employer that's a major, we'll-known psych hospital in the US and is part of a company of well-known top-ranking general medical/teaching hospitals in the US, which may or may not play a big role.

So, tl;dr ... keep that anecdotal story in mind if you use insurance and not pay out of pocket and are in the US

[Anne2.0]

It may very well be useful not to disclose that a person is seeing two therapists at the same time. I don't see it as lying or otherwise a moral issue.

I do wonder if it may reduce the intimacy of the therapist relationship and make the therapy more complicated because of the split. For me, being upfront about what I was doing and why would be the way that I would go, as I am not afraid of negative reactions from my therapist. I once saw another therapist for a consultation about a specific issue and told him afterwards. He had no problem with it but he was surprised.

[missbella]

If there’s any sense that the first therapist won’t handle the termination well, then I think it’s best to protect oneself.

[stopdog]

I saw two different psychodynamic ones at the same time for years. I had no trouble with splitting or getting confused. I paid out of pocket. It really was not a big deal. I mentioned interviewing or seeing other therapists to both but that was it. They both pretty much ignored it. I never discussed one with the other. I never considered it any of their business. I had no reason to ask their permission to do it - I just did it. It was not a big secret - but there was no reason for me to discuss it with them. One was better at some things and the other was better at other things. Basically I don't see a reason to tell them because I don't see it as having anything to with them. I did not need their approval to do it.

[here today]

I had developed a "good girl" adaptation as a child, and tried to be very honest and obey "the rules" of therapy, not questioning that it was in my best interest. It would have been almost impossible for me to have seen a second therapist without telling the first, or to see a second without providing the details of my previous therapy if they asked. I placed all my trust in the therapists and the process -- bypassing my own doubts and questions, etc.

I'm not "in therapy" currently, though I have consulted therapists for a few visits since the last serious therapy ended in a rupture without repair. And when I do consult them, I consider that it is my business, something that I want to do for myself, and that I owe them nothing other than my check.

[Fuzzybear]

I now feel that I owe no therapist anything other than the fee I pay for their services.

I too had developed a good girl adaptation as a child.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by SalingerEsme

Keep it simple, and hold some of the cards. I read the Ethicist from the NYT on this topic lol and they said it is th client's business and no moral imperative to disclose.

Yeah but nobody likes that Ethicist! Every column, a million people write in and yell at him.

IMO, theres already a 3rd "person" in the room that the client and t are trying to tease and appease, and thats the client's subconscious. So theres already a dummy hand at the table. Thats the hand im trying to uncover, with the ts help. I dunno what other people are trying to do.

[stopdog]

I don't particularly mind him. And I agree that there is no moral or ethical or even practical reason to tell the therapist. A client is free to associate with anyone they choose to associate with and for whatever purpose they choose to do so.

[MoxieDoxie]

Originally Posted by peacelizard

Not sure where you live or if you cover sessions primarily through health insurance, but one or both could find out what's going on if they try to bill for a session and get denied. Most insurance plans — don't pay for two therapists at the same time unless you/the therapists can convincingly argue need and how they're different, e.g. at one point, I was seeing my regular therapist who is more psychodynamic/interpersonal and "general" and also a CBT specialist my pdoc recommended for short, outpt work for social anxiety (lasted about 18 weeks). Both therapists said one or both could be denied when they bill for the session and I might need to cut back on seeing my regular therapist until I was done with CBT (or pay for one out of pocket). Surprisingly, it was never an issue. When I called the insurance company to find out if I'd run into a problem, the person didn't even bat an eye. So they paid for 18 weeks of an expensive CBT therapist, my regular therapist every week and 30 minute med check/therapy with my pdoc every 3-4 weeks. Never got a phone call, passive aggressive email/letter, bill etc.

That being said, I have a very good health insurance PPO plan through my employer that's a major, we'll-known psych hospital in the US and is part of a company of well-known top-ranking general medical/teaching hospitals in the US, which may or may not play a big role.

So, tl;dr ... keep that anecdotal story in mind if you use insurance and not pay out of pocket and are in the US

I was seeing two different therapist at the same time and insurance never questioned it. Once a week with both. BCBS Federal.

Now when my T2 asked me to come twice a week to move things along I did stop seeing T1 just incase insurance started denying coverage. I did not think they would cover 3 days a week of outpatient therapy.

[Ididitmyway]

You have no moral obligation to disclose to your therapist that you are seeing another therapist. You can see five of them at the same time if you want to. It's not a question of what you should or shouldn't do. It's a question of whether seeing two therapists at the same time would work for you. It never worked for me. Whenever I was dissatisfied with the therapist I always needed to decide first if I was done with them or not. I did try to shop around, but, as long as there was a sense of something unfinished with the current therapist, I couldn't commit to working with another therapist. It did help to "check them out" though. Once I ended the work with my first therapist I already knew who I wanted to work with next because I'd interviewed him before. But I started working with him only after I completely closed the door to the old experience. Therapy work requires one's full focus, so I don't see how it can be split between two different therapists.

[Favorite Jeans]

Originally Posted by Mouse_62

You're free to disagree, though that doesn't change my take on it. the splitting that would occur by seeing 2 T's would be present in the room. They would need talking about.

For you. For you, splitting would occur. For you, it would need to be talked about. Which is totally fine, reasonable, understandable. But not necessarily universal.

Everyone who uses therapy, uses it in their own way, for their own reasons. Therapy is not marriage, you have not made a monogamous commitment to your T nor have you sworn away your right to privacy. All you owe the T is their hourly fee, the courtesy of showing up or cancelling on time, and respecting basic boundaries. What you choose to share is up to you.

Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans

For you. For you, splitting would occur. For you, it would need to be talked about. Which is totally fine, reasonable, understandable. But not necessarily universal.

Everyone who uses therapy, uses it in their own way, for their own reasons. Therapy is not marriage, you have not made a monogamous commitment to your T nor have you sworn away your right to privacy. All you owe the T is their hourly fee, the courtesy of showing up or cancelling on time, and respecting basic boundaries. What you choose to share is up to you.

Lol. You seem frustrated. I'd look at that c
Thsts true. But if you're not open. Then you won't get much for theraoy.

Splitting is an unconscious process. You, you you wouldn't know it's happening until it's pointed out.
And if it dies and is, what do you say?