[MatBell]

For me it can get a bit too much. She talks about “what is meant to happen will happen”, “be open and you will attract positive influences”, “have faith in the Man above” (I’m not religious) etc. and trying to teach me different spiritual techniques that I’m not sure about.
I really like her though and I know she really cares for me. I don’t want to jeopardize the relationship by bringing it up. So far I have just let it slide.

[Echos Myron redux]

Can you tell her to stop imposing her beliefs on you? (Maybe worded differently). I wouldn't be able to tolerate that kind of talk from a therapist.
I am not at all religious and I know my T is quite spiritual, possibly bordering on religious but he's never mentioned god to me once in all the years we have worked together. I wouldn't take it well if he did to be honest. I hope you can discuss this with her.

[nottrustin]

Neither of my T's mentioned their spirituality or faith until so mentioned mine. I am very religious and at one point I told EMDR T my religion as it plays in my life only then did she ever mention that she practices the same religion. If As T tried to push their religion on me I would not be able to handle that

[seeker33]

My T has tried to talk about new age stuff and discourage me from a religion. It was very unpleasant.

However in her defense I must say it was me who asked to talk about spirituality and I told her about my doubts and confusion. I think whatever she would say, everything would be triggering for me. My stuff is very complicated and my beliefs can change on a daily basis. She's made some mistakes by pushing me and not listening which was her fault, but other times there was simply extremely difficult to talk to me and very few people would do better than her.

When she crossed the line I told her openly and we discussed.

[MatBell]

If I bring it up I’m afraid that I will inadvertently say something about what may be some of her core beliefs and a big part of her personality. I’m afraid it could hurt the relationship. But I know that I’m too pleasing in that way.

[seeker33]

I understand but I think in this case it's absolutely OK to say politely you don't like something. Not agreeing with her religion should not hurt her personally.

I'm an ex evangelical Christian (atheist secular humanist now) and my parents used their Christianity (not all denominations are harmful of course) to abuse me. I would quote scripture saying I deserved the abuse.

My T has never really brought her religion into things. I only know she's Christian because I outright asked. With her, without once discussing her beliefs, I have worked on how my parents' authoritian religious beliefs harmed me, and my own journey towards discovering my own beliefs. It took me a long time to open up about that because I worried that my experiences and criticisms of authorititan evangelical Christianity would offend her own core beliefs as a Christian. However she has never once made it about her.

The times she has slipped up and made an unwelcome reference / comment about religion, I have felt safe enough to later tell her to please not do that again. Eg she once said "no one is wholly evil except Satan" and I reminded her it's not helpful to me and my journey. She has also caught herself mid comment and stopped. Eg once she said "thank god!" then remembered that I do not believe a "god" enabled me to survive my abuse and corrected herself.

Your T should not be imposing her belief system onto you.

[amicus_curiae]

Originally Posted by MatBell

For me it can get a bit too much. She talks about “what is meant to happen will happen”, “be open and you will attract positive influences”, “have faith in the Man above” (I’m not religious) etc. and trying to teach me different spiritual techniques that I’m not sure about.
I really like her though and I know she really cares for me. I don’t want to jeopardize the relationship by bringing it up. So far I have just let it slide.

The Man In The Sky? Banal platitudes?

My advice is to be honest about your discomfort.

You might say, “I know that you have your own beliefs, but I don’t share those beliefs. I like and respect you and hope that you can respect my beliefs.”

I’m overly sensitive to therapists who inject their own religious and/or political beliefs into therapy sessions.

Good luck.

[Anne2.0]

I think there are two things at play in many relationships, including T. The first is that conversating in relation to another person means accepting and being open to what they say, reducing our need to control about what and how people speak. The second is that no one needs to accept any particular topic from any particular person, and it can be good for the person to set boundaries around what they are willing to hear or not. At various points in my life, I've been either too loose with my boundaries or not open enough and controlling of other people.

I think T is a good place to try out some strategies of how to tighten your boundaries, if that's what you want to do. You can think of different approaches and see all the ways you can speak up. IME, my T has been very willing to do things differently when I asked, especially telling him that certain let's just say ideas are not helpful for me. I don't think that T's are into imposing their beliefs on others. But sometimes hearing other ways of thinking about the world can be helpful to people, so they might talk about it. I have found as I am more confident in T and with whom I am in relation to others, I don't get so uptight about certain topic areas. On the other hand, I am also at times more sure that engaging with controlling people that it's not what I want to do.

[WishfulThinker66]

I actually find my T's tone of spirituality to be comforting. She is obviously spiritual yet has shown no indication of just what religion she belongs to if any. She has never said anything that could be construed as spiritual or religious.

However, the objects around her room I recognise as being distinctly an eclectic mix of forms of spiritual practise - mostly earthy centred things. I find this of great comfort. I myself grew up the daughter of a preacher and have for a great number of reasons resented and rejected mainstream organised religion of any sort. She has Himalayan singing bowls, a First Nations medicine wheel and smudge bowl, New Age crystals, a little Zen garden, a Buddha, a prayer mat on the wall, and so on. She always is infusing the room with an essential oil. In short, I find the room incredibly welcoming and relaxing. I doubt though, that if a strongly evangelical person were to enter her room and recognise these things, that they would not be offended.

[stopdog]

I would say something and if that did not stop it, I would find a new one. I would not deal with religion or spirituality from a therapist. I could handle new age woo woo better than I could handle christianity. Any signs of christianity and I would walk out. I probably would not have made it through the first appointment with an overtly christian one. In general I have no trouble with whatever they believe on their own time.

[seeker33]

Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66

I actually find my T's tone of spirituality to be comforting. She is obviously spiritual yet has shown no indication of just what religion she belongs to if any. She has never said anything that could be construed as spiritual or religious.

However, the objects around her room I recognise as being distinctly an eclectic mix of forms of spiritual practise - mostly earthy centred things. I find this of great comfort. I myself grew up the daughter of a preacher and have for a great number of reasons resented and rejected mainstream organised religion of any sort. She has Himalayan singing bowls, a First Nations medicine wheel and smudge bowl, New Age crystals, a little Zen garden, a Buddha, a prayer mat on the wall, and so on. She always is infusing the room with an essential oil. In short, I find the room incredibly welcoming and relaxing. I doubt though, that if a strongly evangelical person were to enter her room and recognise these things, that they would not be offended.

Ohhh I'm not an evangelical and never have been. But if my T had such an overwhelming selection of new agey stuff I wouldn't return after the first session :-D I'm afraid of such things. It's nothing ideological, I personally don't care if others like these things, just my personal experience/trauma connected to meditation and spirituality.

I'm glad however that it works well for you. That's cool and I hope you'll do some great work with that T!

[growlycat]

My t is “spiritual but not religious “ in a new age woo woo kind of way.
I have talked about my own atheism and tried to better understand where he is coming from. His beliefs were off putting at first and sometimes still are. But now it seems like a wacky almost lovable quirk than a character flaw. He doesn’t push beliefs on me and he seems to take his own with a grain of salt. Talking about it does help.

[ScarletPimpernel]

My T won't talk about her spirituality/religious beliefs. I wanted to know if she believed in God before talking to her about my beliefs, but she refused to answer.

[88Butterfly88]

My old t was very spiritual and I ended up leaving because

Possible trigger:

I'm a clergy abuse survivor so I found it triggering.

She went as far as referring to scripture in sessions. Also once my pdoc said

Possible trigger:

my abuser had the devil inside of him

so I told her I don't believe in the devil.

My therapist and I are both Christians. I love it when she talks about it. We have good conversations.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88

My old t was very spiritual and I ended up leaving because

Possible trigger:

I'm a clergy abuse survivor so I found it triggering.

She went as far as referring to scripture in sessions. Also once my pdoc said

Possible trigger:

my abuser had the devil inside of him

so I told her I don't believe in the devil.

That would bother me too because it takes the responsibility off of the abusing individual. I’m glad you are out of that situation.

[nottrustin]

I am surprised so many T's mention their faith. Neither of my T's ever mention their faith to their clients. Only after I mentioned my being Catholic did the tell me theirs. Emdr T said she doesn't tell her clients she is Catholic but since my faith is a huge part of my life she felt it was appropriate. We have discussed my faith and how it is healing for me.

However, she doesn't tell most people becauae she loves working with the LGBQ and transgender population and mine of them would see her if they knew she was Catholic. They would assume she is judgemental and against them.

[Deejay14]

None of my therapists ever mentioned their faith in any way. Even after years of seeing them I don't know if they were aligned with anything at all. At one point in my journey I chose to consult with a pastor about God and my healing. Would never have had those conversations with a therapist. Don't think they would have understood it or known what I needed to know.

[88Butterfly88]

Originally Posted by growlycat

That would bother me too because it takes the responsibility off of the abusing individual. I’m glad you are out of that situation.

Good point, thank you. I still do see that pdoc though but only for medication management.

[fille_folle]

My T has never made any religious or otherwise spiritual comments to me, which is good, since I'm an atheist.

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by MatBell

For me it can get a bit too much. She talks about “what is meant to happen will happen”, “be open and you will attract positive influences”, “have faith in the Man above” (I’m not religious) etc. and trying to teach me different spiritual techniques that I’m not sure about.
I really like her though and I know she really cares for me. I don’t want to jeopardize the relationship by bringing it up. So far I have just let it slide.

I would bring it up. When something bothered me in the therapist I couldn't keep it to myself.

I have a great interest in spirituality, but not religious spirituality. Over many years I've constructed my own spiritual beliefs that have been helping me to deal with life's challenges.

But spirituality to me is too personal and unique for each individual to generalize it and to force one's ideas on someone else. While I wouldn't mind to discuss my spiritual beliefs with the therapist since they are a big part of my inner process, I would strongly object to any attempt on the therapist's part to preach and to present their own beliefs as "truths" that I should follow. That would piss me off, frankly. This is outside of therapists' scope of practice to provide spiritual guidance and so they shouldn't. Besides, I hate that attitude in anyone, therapist or not. I hate "spiritual" people who believe they have all the answers to all the life questions. Least of all I would tolerate a therapist with that kind of attitude.