[winterblues17]

So I have a really good T, everything really I could want... she is kind, patience, reliable, stable and always makes me feel ok to just be me really.
There's nothing I really want to change and I'm never hurt or let down by her, but sometimes I just feel angry at her. Never in session, but midweek I will just be thinking of my life, I suppose feel sorry for myself, feel alone and then feel angry at T! Maybe it's because I miss her, I'm not so sure. I will just think about how kind she is to me, and then get angry that I'm here alone the rest of the week.

Like I say, she has been amazingly supportive of me, had helped me through huge life issues, and 99.9% of the time I feel nothing but gratitude and love towards her, however there's this 0.1% that just feels hurt, lost alone and angry.

I was just wondering if anyone else can relate?

[missbella]

One of my therapists was treacly sweet, but still rendered me servile to her “authority.” I was always the one down, and the dominance signaling was subtle. I didn’t get angry until much later.

[feileacan]

Oh, I have been very angry at my T without any good reason. The truth was that I had so much unconscious anger and rage hidden in me that for the first time in my life started to emerge in therapy. My T has been very good at welcoming the anger and rage and not taking it personally. It hasn't been a pleasant journey but I guess an inevitable one. Over time it has all become easier.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by winterblues17

So I have a really good T, everything really I could want... she is kind, patience, reliable, stable and always makes me feel ok to just be me really.
There's nothing I really want to change and I'm never hurt or let down by her, but sometimes I just feel angry at her. Never in session, but midweek I will just be thinking of my life, I suppose feel sorry for myself, feel alone and then feel angry at T! Maybe it's because I miss her, I'm not so sure. I will just think about how kind she is to me, and then get angry that I'm here alone the rest of the week.

Like I say, she has been amazingly supportive of me, had helped me through huge life issues, and 99.9% of the time I feel nothing but gratitude and love towards her, however there's this 0.1% that just feels hurt, lost alone and angry.

I was just wondering if anyone else can relate?

Yes. Me.

[MessyD]

I can somewhat relate. I am terrified of anger, whether it be mine or someone elses, so you can imagine the shock when I first time realized I was angry, especially since my T noticed first. Which isn't that easy because I basically freeze and don't say much. And I had no idea why it happened. But next time, although I still didn't know why I was angry, I wasn't worried about him and his reaction so much and admitted I was mad and that allowed me to explore it a bit more. I knew I wasn't really angry at him, but more at my life situation and people around me that I'm not comfortable and willing to show much emotion. It was just much easier to be mad at him I think.
Your situation might be a bit different, and maybe you really are angry with her for something she has or hasn't done, and perhaps feel too guilty to see it, because she has been such big help to you. I don't know but it seems that she has been good with you and it would be worth talking to her about it and let her help you figure it out.
When I finally admitted that I was angry I said to my T fine, I'm mad, you're happy? He said yes. I said, congratulations because I don't just express my anger with anyone.
So I'd say it's a step forward.

[weaverbeaver]

I can relate too. My t is supportive of most things but sometimes we disagree. I used to think about my t a lot in between sessions and I would get really angry at things she said or did, anger used to be a huge issue for me, I hated getting angry but now I welcome it. My t has welcomed it, she has always welcomed my anger and now I find myself able to be angry and feel that anger.
This week I expressed my anger a lot in session and t sat there like water off a ducks back.
How would you feel about expressing that anger to your t?

[seeker33]

This happened to me many times! It's very confusing when it happens. The anger is so real, so raw, it drives me crazy! But there's no reason to feel that way. The T hasn't done anything to deserve such a rage or maybe just made a tiny mistake that could be discussed but to me feels like the end of the world!
Just like in your case, it emerges after the session and at random times between the sessions.

[wheeler]

Many times my anger is hiding something else, usually it’s sadness.

[SalingerEsme]

I relate too, and it puzzles me very much. I sometimes wonder if it's bc humans are tuned to have more equal social relationships( the rest of mine are reciprocal on a very fine balance), and it feels like at once being controlled by T and being hooked on T? I don't know , but I wish it wouldn't happen.

Originally Posted by winterblues17

So I have a really good T, everything really I could want... she is kind, patience, reliable, stable and always makes me feel ok to just be me really.
There's nothing I really want to change and I'm never hurt or let down by her, but sometimes I just feel angry at her. Never in session, but midweek I will just be thinking of my life, I suppose feel sorry for myself, feel alone and then feel angry at T! Maybe it's because I miss her, I'm not so sure. I will just think about how kind she is to me, and then get angry that I'm here alone the rest of the week.

Like I say, she has been amazingly supportive of me, had helped me through huge life issues, and 99.9% of the time I feel nothing but gratitude and love towards her, however there's this 0.1% that just feels hurt, lost alone and angry.

I was just wondering if anyone else can relate?

[SalingerEsme]

I also wonder if we get angry T's don't go along with things that would make therapy easier and maybe they are just tiny and we don't consciously notice? For example, I would like to pretend that my T and I have a lasting connection, especially bc we did start out with that "spark", my BF was jealous, etc, and we are the same age/ educational level. I work so so hard to do as he asks, and stay the course with the dreadful topics we explore. However, my T reeled in the early stuff, and became the consummate boundaries professional. Lol, I hate him for it sometimes! I could write him an email right now saying ANYTHING- stretch it in any direction- and he wouldn't reply. It is not our session time, it is his weekend, so that is that. Hatred and Anger for Your Therapist

[CantExplain]

There is almost always a good reason for anger, but that reason is not always obvious. And anger is often redirected at the wrong target. Ts rather encourage us to dump our anger on them.

I can definitely relate. It’s very frustrating. I’ve felt so angry at my T though usually there were one or two things per session I could really fixate on and blame all my anger on. It built up over time until I had a laundry list of ridiculous things I was mad about, and they kind of took over and blinded me of how wonderful- like your T sounds- my T was. It was a relief to start talking about the anger, and she made little changes to avoid some of the things that frustrated me (like never looking at me as Got off the couch and left the room- she’s always just stared at her phone like I wasn’t there anymore and it made me crazy!). Anyway, I wish I had brought it up months before I did. It probably would have saved a lot of pain that built up over time from silently suffering.

Of course most of the things I was mad about were place holders for sadness so I didn’t have to admit I’m sad and angry about the nature of this one-sided relationship. I was angry because my T made me feel lonely.

[stopdog]

I always had a reason.

[fille_folle]

I'm not sure if I have a reason, good or otherwise, for being mad with T most of the time. Anger with a T is very new and scary to me as my previous T didn't seem to trigger the anger for some reason. I also have major issues with anger that I won't get into except to say that I tend to shut down.

[Lrad123]

I can very much relate. In my real life I tend to be good and responsible and polite so it feels completely out of character to be mad at my T and I only do it via email. He’s told me I should “let my hair down” but I’m not exactly sure if this is what he meant. I haven’t figure out why I’m mad, but he’s pretty nice so it doesn’t make a lot of sense.