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Merope
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Lightbulb Jul 20, 2018 at 05:23 AM
  #1
how do therapists go about giving transitional objects? Do they explain it beforehand or do you just assume it’s a loaded object? For example my T wrote something down for me during the session (something that wasn’t necessary) and gave it to me to take home. Whenever he has something to say about work outside of therapy, he emails. Handwriting something seems a lot more personal and I had the feeling that he gave this to me because he knows I’m attached and because he is going on holiday for a long time. I didn’t feel like asking, it’s just something that I was mildly curious about. I don’t even know if he does the whole ”transitional object” thing anyway, so there isn’t much point in me brining it up because I never actively thought I needed such a thing (though now i realise I really welcome the idea).

When therapists gave you transitional object, did they alway explain what they were doing? Was it something that you assumed because the gesture and the nature of the object was emotionally charged/personalised? I’m just curious. I think the handwritten note he gave me has become a transitional object for me because I’m thinking of it in this way, but I’m not sure if he intended for it to be seen as one. Either way, I felt cared for and I appreciate the gesture. I already miss him.
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healinginprogress
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Default Jul 20, 2018 at 06:00 AM
  #2
No, she didn't explain the thought process behind it. But I think because she didn't want to influence my thought of the item. She gave me a small token when I forgot my "fidget" stone. She didn't reference it as a transitional object at the time but has done so after.

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Default Jul 20, 2018 at 06:03 AM
  #3
I think transitional objects are in the eye of the beholder not a concrete, "here's a transitional object, use it wisely" sort of thing? Sometimes I think therapists have certain items they have seen that individual person enjoys or puts meaning into and so that's "helpful". But you can "decide" something is something you enjoy; I know the first time I saw my therapist again (for the second set of 9 years :-) she left a note to me on the outer door of the office as it was a townhouse/2-story affair and complicated to get to the actual office so there was instructions, to me. I kept the note in my wallet because it was hand written and a year or three later gave it to her, deciding I did not "need" it anymore. She was amazed, did not know I had it/had done it. If something has meaning to you; that's great and a good subject to discuss with your therapist, the "personal" nature of it and a good way to sort of back into discussing attachment, etc. if you want.

I had a little item I loved of mine and later in therapy I gave it to my therapist to hold for me, to take care of, which she did. That was interesting because it was like deliberately giving her a piece of myself and how I felt with it being in someone else's charge, etc., it was like she had a "hold" over me :-) could hurt my object if I didn't "do" like she said? That obviously was not from "her" but from my own past/life story so good fodder for discussion. But following the feelings are what the whole therapy experience is about so anything you "feel" about, is great for discussing with your therapist when you're able. It's like beginning to pull on a thread, unwrapping the mummy

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Default Jul 20, 2018 at 08:39 AM
  #4
My T is really into crystals and she gave me a lot over time, including a bracelet with lepidolite, sodalite, lapis, agate... I think it was a lot for calming and finding my voice (creativity). I always took them as generous “gifts” becasue she’s a little woo woo and I may be even more so, and she was looking out for me. She always explained the meanings of each stone and where to keep them (eg. Left or right pocket), and I always loved getting a new stone from her.

Then she also gave me a “healing bear” once. She just handed it to me as I left and said, “This is for you.” And I didn’t know what was going on. It was a nice gesture, but I thought, I’m not a child. This is really condescending that she thinks I’d want a teddy bear.

When I left my final session, I was upset because I’d been asking t for two months for advice on how to leave her office and not feel lonely immediately after. She said she had little advice but she always hoped the transitional objects of the stones, bracelet, and bear would help. Of course, I know what transitional objects are, but she never defined them as such when giving them to me. And I wish she would have explained that a little more with the bear when she gave it to me because I was confused at the time and probably would have been comforted to know her intentions.
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Default Jul 20, 2018 at 09:23 AM
  #5
he gave me a small stuffed animal moose 7 yrs ago. he did explain that it is considered a transitional object

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Default Jul 20, 2018 at 09:39 AM
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my T is always giving me gifts like brackets, necklaces, intimate delicates under clothes and personal notes i am his favorite female patient. i don't see them as transitional but more in the flirting vein. he always does after our sessions end and we are alone. Btw he is married and about sixty years old
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Default Jul 20, 2018 at 08:21 PM
  #7
I suspect T gave me a transition object but never called it that. She had bought a few jelly type bracelets for Breast cancer. At the moment I can't find it but I know it is here someplace.

At our last appointment she had cut some flowers from her garden. She put them in a vase for me. I have written her name and date on it. I have never been a huge cut flowers person but she picked my favorite flower. Since her passing I have always had fresh flowers in it on my table

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Default Jul 20, 2018 at 10:59 PM
  #8
I have many many transitional objects from my therapist. we live in dfferent countries, and whenever we happen to be in the same country at the same time we buy things togethr or she gives me presents or we have little rituals together to help. she doesnt say “this is a transitional object” . We just know by now that she and i give each other little gifts to show each other that we keep each other in our hearts even when we are far apart, and we each have many little things around our homes to remind ourselves of each other.
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