[SarahSweden]

Soon there´s an election to parliament here in Sweden and it has made me think about the possibility that my T votes "for the other side" so to speak. We have the conservatives (right wing) and the socialists/left parties (left wing).


As in every country the parties represent different views upon people and how the country should be run.


I´m not very into politics but I would find it hard to accept if my T was right wing. Not that I think she would openly say whom she votes for but it can become more or less apparent if I begin to talk about the election.

In Sweden left wing parties usually do more for poor and sick people, for example those with mental conditions.


But I know my T lives in an area where a majority vote for right wing parties even if that doesn´t neccessarily mean she does.


But to me - to work within church and with less privileged people in therapy as my T does and vote for a right wing party is not to fully stand up for the sick, poor and so on. It shows several values that I really don´t share and if I knew my T voted for a right wing party I would be kind of disappointed and partly see her in a different light.


Has anyone experienced this with their T? Any suggestions on how to act in this matter?

[Echos Myron redux]

I think T's in general tend to be a left wing kind of bunch. This is just my experience of the ones I personally know and not empirical evidence. I get the need to feel morally aligned with your T - I am reassured by my T's obvious shock and horror at the Brexit vote which he didn't conceal when I raised it (though I bet if I was pro Brexit he wouldn't have expressed that).
The truth is, your T will likely not tell you and you will likely never know so you have to make a decision as to whether the not knowing is acceptable for you. Does it have a direct impact on therapy? If it does can you work on that in therapy?

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. Yes, as you I think there might be of majority among T:s who vote for left wing parties.


It doesn´t have any direct impact on therapy, she is who she is as a therapist but to me I think it partly has to do with honesty. But at the same time, it´s how I see it.


I mean, I see voting for a left wing party is more aligned with working with less privileged people and voting for a right wing party means you vote for the rich and wealthy. Those who more seldom turn to church for something to eat or for someone to talk to.


I feel this is really a "mined land" as if I begin talking about this she soon will realise I vote for the left wing and if she doesn´t she´ll know I would find it hard to accept that. Even if she doesn´t tell me how she votes, she´ll know my opinion in this matter.

Some clients might never bother or even think about how their T vote but I do and by that bringing it up might be grounds for dislike. I don´t want that as I´ve liked her very much almost constantly. But that´s only part of her and that´s what bothers me.


In one way it´s just positive I don´t know anything about how she votes. On the other hand, I keep liking her because I don´t know much about her and there´s where the whole authenticity matter comes to question.

Originally Posted by Echos Myron redux

I think T's in general tend to be a left wing kind of bunch. This is just my experience of the ones I personally know and not empirical evidence. I get the need to feel morally aligned with your T - I am reassured by my T's obvious shock and horror at the Brexit vote which he didn't conceal when I raised it (though I bet if I was pro Brexit he wouldn't have expressed that).
The truth is, your T will likely not tell you and you will likely never know so you have to make a decision as to whether the not knowing is acceptable for you. Does it have a direct impact on therapy? If it does can you work on that in therapy?

[Echos Myron redux]

Yes that does make sense and I understand the discomfort.
Also, just to say, I'm really pleased to hear you've found a T you like. I know you struggled to find a good fit for a long time.

[CantExplain]

Ts tend to vote more money for mental health.

Seriously though, it shouldn't be possible to tell which party your T votes for.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks Echos. Yes, there is no clear "solution" to it as I wouldn´t ask her straight out and as in many other cases I would probably don´t want to know the answer. I mean about her interests, how she lives and such.

But with politics it shows so many values so it´s hard to not think about how she might vote.

Yes, I'm happy about that as well. She´s an alternative therapist and she doesn´t really give any treatment but she´s a very nice and caring person who´s good to talk to.

Originally Posted by Echos Myron redux

Yes that does make sense and I understand the discomfort.
Also, just to say, I'm really pleased to hear you've found a T you like. I know you struggled to find a good fit for a long time.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. Yes, hopefully they do. No, I´m not after answers to how my T votes, that´s impossible for others to know but it´s still an important topic I think.

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Ts tend to vote more money for mental health.

Seriously though, it shouldn't be possible to tell which party your T votes for.

[DP_2017]

I personally wouldn't even bring it up, but most T's are supposed to be non judging anyway so if they disagree, they won't openly tell you probably

That being said, I truly would not care at all. Everyone is welcome to their own views on things in the world. I am not gonna judge my T for who they vote for, I am far more concerned on how they help me with issues and how we get along etc

[seeker33]

I'd guess Ts are mostly left wing, although I can't be sure.
I think if they're working with the less privileged people and care about them, they'll probably vote for more "humane" party. But it's really hard to say. I also know a psychologist (my ex classmate) who's right wing.
I guess you could try to guess based on their other interests and random comments.

I've also wondered about my T and I've got an estimation based on what she's told me. If I'm right, she is the same side as me (left). But this is enough for me, I won't ask as it's not crucial to know. However if it is important to you, I'd risk and ask your T. If could be an interesting conversation. I'd go for it.

[stopdog]

I would not know how a therapist voted and I would not care. I hired them for a purpose -what they do on their own time is up to them. I don't see why one would look for things to fret about.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. As you I think what matters most is how she can be helpful to me but this about how she votes has a deeper meaning to me.


I don´t think she would judge me if she understood I vote differently from her but if so that would mean that she in therapy agrees to things I say but in real life she wouldn´t.

As an example I vote for left wing parties as I think it´s important to support the poor and sick and give them a decent welfare if needed. The right wing parties on the other hand think people should have less welfare money.

As I´m in the group who at the moment need welfare and as I rather often talk about unemployment, shortage of money and such it would feel odd if I knew my T voted AGAINST a decent welfare or against something else that´s important in my life.

That doesn´t mean she would talk about it or show it openly but it´s still a matter of how she answers to things I say and what she actually and "in real life" thinks about them. She wouldn´t openly say something like "I don´t think people should have more welfare money" but instead she would try to support me.


But to me this is fake as she then shares a view that´s adapted to me, not shared in an authentic way.


In that respect voting becomes important as it has a lot to do with values in life and towards other people.

Originally Posted by DP_2017

I personally wouldn't even bring it up, but most T's are supposed to be non judging anyway so if they disagree, they won't openly tell you probably

That being said, I truly would not care at all. Everyone is welcome to their own views on things in the world. I am not gonna judge my T for who they vote for, I am far more concerned on how they help me with issues and how we get along etc

[elisewin]

I understand this is a question that easily comes into client's mind, especially if it is an area of importance to her/his own life. I might not be able to work comfortably with someone sharing a total opposite political view, and it would not be the actual voting, but the values would show through everything: how s/he treats people, comments stuff (not necessarily political but just general stuff going on) and so on. If a T is so called blank slate then maybe not, but I would not work with a blank slate either. I knew how my T votes way before she told me. Or not exactly knew, but was almost certain. And I was correct. So maybe you will find out later, maybe only in your heart or because she tells you one day.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. Yes, I think that too, it seems most probable.


I don´t think I would ask her straight out as one often doesn´t even with a colleage and sometimes not even relatives. I don´t want it to be a large issue even if it matter to me. How she acts towards me is more important but of course I wonder how she actually thinks about for example welfare as I mention that rather frequent.

Is she left wing and really feels for me in that respect, being short of money or is she actually right wing and just pretends to care about someone on welfare?

Originally Posted by seeker33

I'd guess Ts are mostly left wing, although I can't be sure.
I think if they're working with the less privileged people and care about them, they'll probably vote for more "humane" party. But it's really hard to say. I also know a psychologist (my ex classmate) who's right wing.
I guess you could try to guess based on their other interests and random comments.

I've also wondered about my T and I've got an estimation based on what she's told me. If I'm right, she is the same side as me (left). But this is enough for me, I won't ask as it's not crucial to know. However if it is important to you, I'd risk and ask your T. If could be an interesting conversation. I'd go for it.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. Yes, as you say it´s the values connected to a certain voting that are important. It´s perhaps not what a client thinks about in the beginning but as the therapeutic relationship grows the therapist´s personal beliefs are of some importance.

My T isn´t a blank slate either even if she never shares things specifically about politics. I don´t know how she would react if I actually asked her, I´m not planning to but still. She has shared she believes in God but that´s already apparent as she works within church.

I hope I perhaps just understand during some random session where she stands politically, it´s the best I think as asking about it is not what I plan to do.

Originally Posted by elisewin

I understand this is a question that easily comes into client's mind, especially if it is an area of importance to her/his own life. I might not be able to work comfortably with someone sharing a total opposite political view, and it would not be the actual voting, but the values would show through everything: how s/he treats people, comments stuff (not necessarily political but just general stuff going on) and so on. If a T is so called blank slate then maybe not, but I would not work with a blank slate either. I knew how my T votes way before she told me. Or not exactly knew, but was almost certain. And I was correct. So maybe you will find out later, maybe only in your heart or because she tells you one day.

[Salmon77]

I definitely understand where you're coming from. I would be troubled if I discovered my T voted a certain way in the last US presidential election. (He hasn't told me straight out, but has said enough that I'm sure of who he didn't vote for.)

Still, even if your T would not tell you her political opinions, maybe this is a good opportunity to talk about how you deal with people who think differently than you in general. Can you disagree with someone politically and still see them as a good person or a friend?

[elisewin]

Originally Posted by Salmon77

Still, even if your T would not tell you her political opinions, maybe this is a good opportunity to talk about how you deal with people who think differently than you in general. Can you disagree with someone politically and still see them as a good person or a friend?

That is a good question. I have a decent amount of tolerance towards different opinions - also political, but I draw a line with people who think human rights are a matter of opinion. I don't think I could have a close relationship with someone who thinks they are. Be it a friend or a T, anyone that is more than a random acquaintance.

[seeker33]

What does she do in the church? Charity?

That can be a tough dilemma. I try to stay true to my values and end up with similar conflicts in different settings.

Although a therapist's political orientation may not impact her ability to do therapy, you have said that it would impact you as the client.

If her values conflict with your values, perhaps you can turn it into a learning experience to make the best of the situation. Your feelings about this could be something to work through in the therapy itself. Why are such values important to you? I think it is good that you have a solid self concept about your values. Perhaps talking about it could lead to enhanced self confidence in a sense that it may reinforce valuing and believing in yourself.

[feralkittymom]

I think politics is a red herring. Issues of trust don't rest in political opinions, unless you choose to place them there. And even if you knew party affiliation, it wouldn't prove anything. Not all politicians of a party agree with 100% of a party platform in any country. And certainly all voters do not agree with 100% of any politician's views. To reduce politics to such simple distinctions is misleading; to make value judgements on the basis of such distinctions is also misleading.

Why not just ask her the values questions you really want answers to, if you must, rather than hide concerns in political alignments?

[tomatenoir]

I understand where you're coming from. I'm an immigrant in Britain. If I found out my therapist voted for Brexit I don't think I could continue working with him.

I have two colleagues and one friend whom I like very much. They voted for Brexit, and even though their vote wasn't based on immigration, I found it difficult to be as open with them afterwards.

[growlycat]

I can understand this concern as I would have it too. It may come down to the issue of feeling judged. Here in the states one side comes across as very judgemental although they could probably find a way to say the same about the other side.

If I felt my t was judgemental and moralistic in a narrow and dogmatic way I would view that as incompatible with helping me reach my personal goals. You could use a therapist in a narrow way that can disregard their politics but many of us look at the whole person.

[seeker33]

I agree that it's better to ask about specific values than political parties. Because people may have the same values but chose different ways to get there.

For example, both want to genuinely help poor people. But one thinks it's better to help them socially, other person thinks it's better to create more jobs. But it doesn't make one good and one bad. Maybe it's more influenced by their experience or maybe they don't have the same amount of information. Maybe if one person had more info, they would change their political opinion while their values would still be same.

For example nowadays, traditional left is becoming increasingly against free speech. In the past they advocated for minorities etc and tried to ensure their voices are heard. Today this has gone into extreme in some countries and some situations and basically it is becoming the majority that is prevented from free speech for the sake of minority.

So for example a person whose value is freedom could have been a leftist in the past but due to circumstances decided to vote for the right wing party because things have changed.

So it may be better to ask about values and not parties. You never know why the person votes a certain way.

[Ididitmyway]

This is a valid concern for many clients. I can see how in some cases it'd be impossible to work with the therapist whose political views are very different from your own. I elaborate on this topic in my article here Therapy Consumer Guide - Therapy and Politics

For me the decision to work with the therapist with the different political views would be based on whether I believe their views reflect some deeper moral values or not. Our political positions may or may not reflect our values. I know people with whom I disagree politically who have the same values as I do, but they see the solutions to the societal problems differently from how I see them. I believe their views are based on a lack of education about history and economy, not on a lack of morality or social consciousness. I am pretty sure they think the same about me. With those people I try to continue a dialog no matter how much their views may piss me off.

There are others, however, whose values are clearly different from mine. With those I have nothing to discuss. I know they will follow what they want to follow no matter what I say. If I had a feeling that my therapist was one of those, I would look for a new therapist.

So, it depends..

[awkwardlyyours]

I think it depends on the political climate and context.

In possibly another day and age -- in the US where I am or in my motherland -- I wouldn't have perhaps cared as much if the therapist turned out to hold political views opposite to my own (left).

However, in the present day (both in the US and back home), leaving aside all moral issues, I'd seriously question the therapist's intelligence / basic cognitive ability if they turned out to have political views opposite to my own.

And yes, I would quit -- I couldn't possibly take the therapist seriously in any way whatsoever if that turned out to be the case and so, therapy would go for a toss, anyhow.

At other times, eh, I wouldn't have particularly cared and I might even have enjoyed sorta kinda debating stuff.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. Had you then thought about end your contact with that T, if he voted a certain way?

I´m not thinking of ending it with this T, it´s more a kind of fear I have as I find it very important to stand up for the poor and sick, as the left wing does to a greater extent than the right.

It´s a very good question, this about how I deal with people who think differently. I think my beliefs are grounded in my core and by that I´d probably find it hard to be friends with someone who voted in a complete opposite way. I would feel like that person was against me and not that he or she voted differently.

It´s partly the same with my T, that I´d find her to, in a way, disapprove of me if she had very different political views.

Originally Posted by Salmon77

I definitely understand where you're coming from. I would be troubled if I discovered my T voted a certain way in the last US presidential election. (He hasn't told me straight out, but has said enough that I'm sure of who he didn't vote for.)

Still, even if your T would not tell you her political opinions, maybe this is a good opportunity to talk about how you deal with people who think differently than you in general. Can you disagree with someone politically and still see them as a good person or a friend?