[wanttolivebetter]

I don't know if what I've been feeling the past few weeks is related at all to the therapy I've recently been undergoing, but it is really starting to freak me out and concern me. For the past about 2 weeks, I have felt like a zoned out zombie. I will be driving and catch myself off in lala land, and then I start to worry whether I was so out of it that I might have run some red lights or something. I constantly find myself going through the motions on autopilot mode, and I keep forgetting to do things like respond to people's text messages or even eat. I suddenly realized I was lightheaded and starving around 9 p.m. today, at which point I realized, "Oh crap, I've only eaten 400 calories all day." This is completely unlike me. I usually have to be careful to not eat too much.

I have noticed I've been running through things said in therapy or things I wish I said in therapy a lot in my head, which is why I'm wondering whether this could be dissociation or some other type of therapy side effect, if you will. I sometimes have migraine-related bouts of brain fog, so I started out thinking it was just my usual migraine issues, but this has now been going on for weeks. :/

I'd say yes. It's normal. I still sometimes dissociate when driving and realise my lips were moving when I'm "alone" as I had full on therapeutic discussion with myself. And I'm 15yrs in.

[Lemoncake]

I think it does sound like dissociation. Have the topics you've been talking about been more emotionally charged? It stems from being a coping mechanism.

Sometimes I space out during sessions, the worst is when I can't recognize paths I've walked a hundred times before and just don't feel real. I would suggest working on grounding techniques:

-Using a scent that is associated with feeling safe and calm
-Holding an object that is warm or cold
-Tuning in to textures or the weight of an object
-Standing up and moving; jumping jacks, arm swings
-Listening to soothing music
-Using a visual image that evokes safety and calm
-Saying out loud what they see and hear in their surroundings

It sounds like straightforward distraction or preoccupation rather than dissociation, but if you are worried you could talk to someone in a position to diagnose and/or help you manage symptoms.

[wanttolivebetter]

Thanks for the replies. I'm wondering if it could also just be general stress after I woke up today on the verge of a panic attack over something that happened yesterday that is just piling onto the enormous stress I've already been under lately. The first thing I did after letting the dog out is pop an anxiety pill, which I usually never do because they tend to make me feel sick. I feel like I'm gonna throw up everywhere, and of course it's Memorial Day weekend, so it'll be 3 days before I can even call anyone about any of these issues to try to resolve the ones that are potentially resolvable and reduce my stress. I'm sorry, I'm being vague and not making sense. I'm so overwhelmed. I'm gonna try some of those grounding techniques. Maybe they can help me stop fixating on issues I can't do anything about for the time being.

[Elio]

I think it can be either preoccupation or dissociation. I can tell you that it sounds like a normal part of the process for some. I have had several periods of time over the last 2.5 yrs where there's been some level of dissociation due to my therapy.

I agree that talking with your T about it is a good thing. They can help you figure out some of what is going on for you as well as give them valuable information on how you respond to stressors which will help them guide your therapy.

[coolibrarian]

Maybe it's depersonalization, and not full-blown dissociation.

[Anne2.0]

Have you been working through some past trauma, or are recovering from a recent trauma? When I was working in different periods of my therapy on past traumas, talking about them in sessions would often lead to more dissociative periods both immediately and remotely afterwards. One of the ways I could tell I was healing is that I became much less dissociative over time.

Dissociation is on a continuum where it's normal for everyone to space out some (it takes too much energy to pay attention or be mindful or present much of the time. It's a break for the brain and a creative short term respite from overwhelming emotion and/or uncomfortable thoughts. This link is for one to the Dissociative Experiences Scale, which you can take online to see where you fall on this continuum or just for greater education about dissociation. Many people experience some types of dissociation but not others.

https://counsellingresource.com/quizzes/misc-tests/des/

[Ididitmyway]

I don't think this types of questions could be answered by people who don't know much about you and your life style.

Could therapy affect someone in this particular way? Yes, it could. Just like it could worsen depression or bring a bunch of difficult feelings to the surface.

I don't think anyone here can tell you that it's a "side effect" of therapy in your particular case or if it's something else. This seems to be a good question to ask your therapist.

[ruh roh]

I think it's always a good idea to make sure it's not something physical, such as the effect of stress (which you pointed out) or low B-12 which can cause memory loss and fatigue. Same with hormones. If I have a really long bout of what you describe, it's often got a physical component. Dissociation for me tends to be more related to triggering life events than anything that happens in therapy. Everyone is different, but I think it's good to question physical health causes as much as anything else.

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by wanttolivebetter

Thanks for the replies. I'm wondering if it could also just be general stress after I woke up today on the verge of a panic attack over something that happened yesterday that is just piling onto the enormous stress I've already been under lately.

Stress depletes magnesium. Mag deficiency correlates with anxiety and panic.

Stress messes with sleep too, which can cause brain fog and other brain probs.

Also there is evidence that mag deficiency is common in migraine sufferers and that supplementing reduces severity and frequency of attacks.

[wanttolivebetter]

Originally Posted by BudFox

Stress depletes magnesium. Mag deficiency correlates with anxiety and panic.

Stress messes with sleep too, which can cause brain fog and other brain probs.

Also there is evidence that mag deficiency is common in migraine sufferers and that supplementing reduces severity and frequency of attacks.

Interesting, maybe I should try taking a multivitamin or something. I used to take high-dose magnesium along with riboflavin and CoQ10 for my migraines, but I stopped taking them because I noticed no difference in the intensity or frequency of my migraines.

I agree that it may be a good idea to investigate possible physiological causes before concluding that it is a mental state or the result of an experience. There was a time in my life (~15 years ago) when I had all sorts of seemingly unrelated symptoms, a lot of them manifested in weird sensations and intense bouts of depersonalization/derealization. I was never really dissociative like that before or after, it was new and extremely strange for me. People were suggesting that it was stress, but I did not even have any remarkable stress in my life at the time. So went to get examined by MDs - they found nothing either and, again, interpreted as plain anxiety and stress. But I just knew it was something else. Long story short - in the end, after much research and digging in the dark, I figured out myself that all those symptoms, including the dissociative states, were due to a strong reaction to the artificial sweetener aspartame, which I was using a lot back then. Nowadays it is very well-known that it can be toxic and many people reported similar experiences - but not at the time, so it was quite a journey for me. I stopped using it and all of the problems went away after a while. It is still a scary memory.

The only other time when I experienced milder states of dissociation, e.g. those with a sense of disconnect and unfamiliarity with the environment, was later during a period when I experienced extreme cumulative and ongoing stress unlike ever before/after. It wasn't a reaction to some old trauma being triggered, more a reaction to one traumatic experience after the other occurring in real, present time. I also had some pretty bad migraines - something I never had before/after. Again, it all went away once I resolved the stresses to a reasonable extent. I think I still do have some lingering PTSD-like thing from some of those experiences but these days it never manifests in dissociation, more as anxiety and avoidance, when triggered. I did discuss some of these with my last T but not in any great depth. Those discussions never triggered anxiety, it's more when I need to deal with similar things in everyday life that were very troubled in the past, but the best way to work on the lingering consequences is to deal with the stuff head-on and not avoid.

Not sure if my experiences are relevant to the OP but I wanted to share.

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by wanttolivebetter

Interesting, maybe I should try taking a multivitamin or something. I used to take high-dose magnesium along with riboflavin and CoQ10 for my migraines, but I stopped taking them because I noticed no difference in the intensity or frequency of my migraines.

There is apparently wide variation in how well different forms of Mag are absorbed. Mag oxide for example is supposedly poorly absorbed and thus pretty useless. Some good forms are: mag citrate (Calm brand is popular), mag glycinate, mag malate. There is a liquid form called Remag which i use. Also, need high enuf dose to make a difference.

Personally i would not take a multi. They are mostly trash synthetic vitamins most of which are probably unnecessary or detrimental, and at wrong doses.

Zinc deficiency also correlates with mental illness, up to and including psychosis. Can get tricky, as minerals need to be kept in proper ratios. Mag seems somewhat unique though in that what cant be absorbed by the body is dumped through the bowel usually in the form of loose stool, which is why people think it "gives you diarrhea". Anyway not trying to give medical advice, and maybe this is too much of a tangent.

[wanttolivebetter]

Originally Posted by Xynesthesia

I agree that it may be a good idea to investigate possible physiological causes before concluding that it is a mental state or the result of an experience. There was a time in my life (~15 years ago) when I had all sorts of seemingly unrelated symptoms, a lot of them manifested in weird sensations and intense bouts of depersonalization/derealization. I was never really dissociative like that before or after, it was new and extremely strange for me. People were suggesting that it was stress, but I did not even have any remarkable stress in my life at the time. So went to get examined by MDs - they found nothing either and, again, interpreted as plain anxiety and stress. But I just knew it was something else. Long story short - in the end, after much research and digging in the dark, I figured out myself that all those symptoms, including the dissociative states, were due to a strong reaction to the artificial sweetener aspartame, which I was using a lot back then. Nowadays it is very well-known that it can be toxic and many people reported similar experiences - but not at the time, so it was quite a journey for me. I stopped using it and all of the problems went away after a while. It is still a scary memory.

The only other time when I experienced milder states of dissociation, e.g. those with a sense of disconnect and unfamiliarity with the environment, was later during a period when I experienced extreme cumulative and ongoing stress unlike ever before/after. It wasn't a reaction to some old trauma being triggered, more a reaction to one traumatic experience after the other occurring in real, present time. I also had some pretty bad migraines - something I never had before/after. Again, it all went away once I resolved the stresses to a reasonable extent. I think I still do have some lingering PTSD-like thing from some of those experiences but these days it never manifests in dissociation, more as anxiety and avoidance, when triggered. I did discuss some of these with my last T but not in any great depth. Those discussions never triggered anxiety, it's more when I need to deal with similar things in everyday life that were very troubled in the past, but the best way to work on the lingering consequences is to deal with the stuff head-on and not avoid.

Not sure if my experiences are relevant to the OP but I wanted to share.

What you went through with the seemingly unrelated symptoms seems very similar to what I've been dealing with the past several years. Doctors dismiss me and tell me to go to a therapist, which is how I wound up seeing mine in the first place. I have my doubts about the origin of my symptoms being psychological, but I do also have a lot of stressors in my life that it helps to get out, so therapy is useful enough to keep attending for now. I've made at this point hundreds of attempts at trying to determine if some chemical is to blame for all of my symptoms, but I unfortunately have never been able to identify a trigger. It makes me become downright suspicious of everything I eat at times, like I'll suspect it's the lunch meat I ate one day and then think maybe I'm allergic to citrus or dairy the next. Very frustrating.

I also relate to what you said about not having trauma so much as just cumulative, ongoing stress. My therapist has recently begun trying EMDR with me to target my memories of experiences I had as a result of my physical symptoms, but tbh I just really don't feel like I have any actual trauma associated with them. The problem is that they keep occurring, not that any one instance left me traumatized.

[tikobird]

There are several types of dissociative disorders. Dissociating is not specific. I have Depersonalization which is one. DID is when you lose time and you have an alternate person. The 3rd one is called Dissociative amnesia and I'm not sure of the symptoms. I'd have to look it up.

Specifically what type of dissociation type are you talking about? I've had chronic depersonalization disorder where I feel as though things are unreal and I'm outside my body. It's usually caused by a trauma or severe ongoing anxiety condition. I can't seem to get a hold on issues from my childhood of being ignored thus causing a constant anxiety state from the time I was little.

[tikobird]

Originally Posted by wanttolivebetter

I don't know if what I've been feeling the past few weeks is related at all to the therapy I've recently been undergoing, but it is really starting to freak me out and concern me. For the past about 2 weeks, I have felt like a zoned out zombie. I will be driving and catch myself off in lala land, and then I start to worry whether I was so out of it that I might have run some red lights or something. I constantly find myself going through the motions on autopilot mode, and I keep forgetting to do things like respond to people's text messages or even eat. I suddenly realized I was lightheaded and starving around 9 p.m. today, at which point I realized, "Oh crap, I've only eaten 400 calories all day." This is completely unlike me. I usually have to be careful to not eat too much.

I have noticed I've been running through things said in therapy or things I wish I said in therapy a lot in my head, which is why I'm wondering whether this could be dissociation or some other type of therapy side effect, if you will. I sometimes have migraine-related bouts of brain fog, so I started out thinking it was just my usual migraine issues, but this has now been going on for weeks. :/

What are you talking about? Is it Depersonalization? If you've been feeling like things all look unreal and you're outside of your body it sounds like DP.