[Siennasays]

Hi! I'm new here I've been lurking forever, but decided to take the plunge and join y'all! So, don't be creeped out when I act like I already know you!

So, I started seeing a therapist 1.5 years ago when my son was around 1yr for awful anger. Im not sure if it was postpartum or hormones or what, but my anger with my kids, my husband , my life was awful. I felt depressed, I had awful images in my head...it wasn't good, and my OB referred me to my T. I went a few times, about once a month for 8 or so months and then stopped. I recently went back in May for continued depression/anger. But, I have an awful time talking about anything and I know she was getting frustrated at my lack of communication. I feel bad for going to therapy for issues I should be able to overcome/workout on my own. But it's been almost 2 years and I feel the same! Do I continue and hope I'll be able to open up more? Do I find someone new even though I actually really like her and don't think she's the problem? Or is therapy just not the answer in this situation?

Thanks!

[Skeezyks]

Hello Sienna: Since this is your first post here on PC... welcome to PsychCentral... glad you finally decided to dive into the pond!

Since you've been lurking since forever... you probably already know your way around pretty well. However, just in case, here's a link to the psychotherapy forum:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/psychotherapy/

You may also find the healthy parenting forum to be of interest:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/healthy-parenting/

And then here are links to a selection of articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that touch upon the subjects of the therapy process, anger, depression, & anxiety plus two "bonus articles" on the subject of journaling. This probably looks like a lot of reading! But the articles are short. So it's not as much as it may appear:

When I See Depression and Anxiety, I See These 6 Things | Dysfunction Interrupted

Psychotherapy - Psych Central

6 Ways to Open Up and Talk in Therapy

https://psychcentral.com/lib/therapi...st-of-therapy/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/angry-...-might-be-why/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-step...ng-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-ways...ve-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-step...turally/?all=1

https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-thi...at-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/lifesty...th-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways-...ere-right-now/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/15-smal...iety-symptoms/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/top-10-...s-for-anxiety/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...s-and-anxiety/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/using-...o-reclaim-joy/

My best wishes to you...

[Lemoncake]

Hiiiiiiiiiiii!



Listen to your gut feeling. There's different types of therapy and I don't see the harm in arranging to see someone new if you feel stuck.

[CharlieStarDust]

Do you think you would benefit from therapy with her if you could communicate? If so, have you told her you’re struggling with communication or have you tried communicating in ways other than verbal? Writing, art, music?

[Siennasays]

Originally Posted by CharlieStarDust

Do you think you would benefit from therapy with her if you could communicate? If so, have you told her you’re struggling with communication or have you tried communicating in ways other than verbal? Writing, art, music?

She knows. And I feel like it frustrates her. I'm a very surface person. I don't go into things with people, I mostly joke around or make light of things...sometimes inappropriately. But, I'm comfortable that way. I've told her this and she said something like ""well, this is TALK therapy". Soooo. Im equally as frustrated. Art and music are definitely not my thing. I do journal a bit. I could try writing I guess. Thanks!

[mostlylurking]

I think that if you've always gone just once a month, it's worth trying to go once a week (even if it had to be with a different / less expensive T) to see if that would help you to talk about more personal things. I'm guessing that it could be hard to hold on to a feeling of connection with a T, seeing them only once a month. That could make it hard to open up.

There have been many posts here about how to bring up topics that are really difficult to talk about. I think the reason people try to do that is because we find out it's the difficult stuff that is most helpful in the long run. So another idea is to think of something you do not want to talk about with her, and then try to talk about it anyway.

People go to therapy for all kinds of reasons, you don't have to have a "good enough" reason to go, but I remember feeling that way myself. I used to say things to my T like, "I don't know why I'm like this, nothing bad ever happened to me." (Which wasn't true, I was trivializing quite a lot.) Being a mom to very young kids can be a highly challenging time of life, and if you can get some support and relief through therapy, it would be a great time to do that.

For better or for worse, I think opening up (esp. in therapy) takes time and practice. Unless you're just ready to spill your guts, which isn't everyone, there's a warming up period. I think mostlylurking has a good point about increasing how often you go if you're still doing once/month. That will probably help maintain comfort over time--three weeks between appointments, I think, is ample time to put back up any walls that may have starting softening by the end of an appointment. It might also be worth talking to someone else for an appointment or two just to see if you respond better to different therapists/therapy styles?

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

I agree once a month sounds like a bit little if you're struggling with something.
I understand the not talking about a lot with others part. I usually do that too, with most people in my life. And I took 6 months of going to therapy weekly to open up in some ways. However, of course you won't just suddenly change how you talk to your T. I think you also need to understand that for the type of therapy your T is doing, at some point there is the need to go deeper than a few jokes. So you also need to want to share more, in some way. Maybe not right now, but I think it's important to be aware of that fact.

Also, I think a lot of people on here know the feeling that they should be able to get over their problems on their own. That's oftentimes easier said than done! I kind of think of it like of a bad case of the flu. Your body should be fully able to get over it on its own. But if it's bad, sometimes you need to go see a doctor, he gives you some meds (or in the case of therapy talks to you the right way) and that helps you get better. There's nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it. And I do think if you have issues with emotions (i.e. anger, depression), then therapy is a good answer.