[stopdog]

Do you have a sense of familiarity with the therapist you hire? Do you cultivate it?

Yes. I don't know that anybody cultivated it. I felt we just 'clicked' from that first phone call.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

I put define familiarity. I feel familiar in that the guy looks the same every time, meets me at the same time every week and react about the same every time I mention the same things.

I don't feel a sense of familiarity in that there's something special about my therapist or that we have some kind of special connection. It doesn't feel like coming home after having been gone for a few months.

[stopdog]

From Merrium Webster online:
Definition of familiarity(pick the one you want)

plural familiarities
1 a : the quality or state of being familiar
b : a state of close relationship : intimacy
2 a : absence of ceremony : informality
b : an unduly informal act or expression : impropriety
c : a sexual liberty
3 : close acquaintance with something

I said 'yes' in reference to my last T. I chose him largely based on a sense of familiarity. I often get drawn to people in that way and I like it a lot. I absolutely did not have it with my first T though at all - more the opposite - he was easily the most unfamiliar person I chose to ever see regularly. It was sort of a challenge I consciously gave myself in the beginning, was curious what would come of it if I tried to talk about very personal things with someone I felt very minimal familiarity with in general - not much good except a confirmation that my usual method to choose people I interact with personally is a good one for me. Not that it made therapy a lot more therapeutic with the other T, but that is a different issue.

Originally Posted by stopdog

From Merrium Webster online:
Definition of familiarity(pick the one you want)

plural familiarities
1 a : the quality or state of being familiar
b : a state of close relationship : intimacy
2 a : absence of ceremony : informality
b : an unduly informal act or expression : impropriety
c : a sexual liberty
3 : close acquaintance with something

Oh this is a poll I can't tell on Tapatalk. Oops. For me familiarity w t is 1 a and b, and sometimes feels like 2 a but not always. I guess most of the time not and for me "ceremony" would be defined as the maintaining of the therapeutic frame.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

Originally Posted by stopdog

From Merrium Webster online:
Definition of familiarity(pick the one you want)

plural familiarities
1 a : the quality or state of being familiar
b : a state of close relationship : intimacy
2 a : absence of ceremony : informality
b : an unduly informal act or expression : impropriety
c : a sexual liberty
3 : close acquaintance with something

1a, yes, but b only sometimes, depends on the day, 2a, 2b, 2c no, 3 some days yes some days no

[stopdog]

The definition of familiarity is not the poll.
Sometimes I think I am in some parallel universe

[NP_Complete]

Yes. Even though it's one-sided, I feel there is an intimacy in the relationship. I've shared intensely personal things with him. Although I don't know him in the same way, he has shared enough of himself that I feel like I have a good sense of what kind of person he is. With this therapist, I feel this is a key part of what we're doing. I'm aware other people think this isn't necessary for good therapy, but this is what works for me right now.

I chose Yes - it is a thing that I like about therapy.

[SlumberKitty]

I put maybe some. I think I become more familiar with the T as therapy progresses. But I couldn't say yes because I couldn't predict some of T's responses and stuff. But as time goes on I do feel more familiar with T and what T likes, dislikes, approves of, disapproves of, hopes for me, gets disappointed with, etc.

[Salmon77]

I said yes. I didn't at first but over the years I feel like I've gotten to know my T, and he tells me stuff about his life sometimes.

[feralkittymom]

No, I don't think so. Familiarity is a mutual thing to me and a sense that a relationship has moved beyond barriers. It feels too boundary-less to me. I think current T tries to cultivate such familiarity, but I find it counter productive and so hold the frame better than she does. I would say intimate because of the nature of conversations, but not familiar.

Originally Posted by stopdog

The definition of familiarity is not the poll.
Sometimes I think I am in some parallel universe

I knew that. It made sense to me though to quantify or whatever what that "familiarity" meant to me because a blanket yes felt uncomfortable. I shoulda stayed out of this one lol

[88Butterfly88]

No, not with current t. I have found I have done better with ts I had more familiarity with.

[ruh roh]

No. I have not got a clue who the person is who sits across from me. She seems different almost every time. I can't catch up.


(I liked the option to define "sense.")

[starfishing]

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

No, I don't think so. Familiarity is a mutual thing to me and a sense that a relationship has moved beyond barriers. It feels too boundary-less to me. I think current T tries to cultivate such familiarity, but I find it counter productive and so hold the frame better than she does. I would say intimate because of the nature of conversations, but not familiar.

Yes, I think separating out intimacy from familiarity makes a ton of sense in this context. With my current therapist, there are definitely sporadic moments of familiarity--when one of us makes a joke and we're both laughing, or when we're casually referencing places, people, institutions we're both familiar with, etc.--but I don't think familiarity is broadly present. Intimacy is, though.

I definitely had a sense of familiarity with the therapist I saw immediately prior to this one--many of our conversations wouldn't have been out of place in a more social relationship. He casually shared many things about his life and background. We had more familiarity than intimacy--there was an easy rapport with some mutual understanding, and therapy felt like a pleasant encounter with a person I enjoyed and appreciated, but no significant insight or depth.

[susannahsays]

No. I have no idea who the therapist really is or what she's really thinking, so how could there be a familiarity between us? Anyway, familiarity breeds contempt.

Originally Posted by stopdog

The definition of familiarity is not the poll.
Sometimes I think I am in some parallel universe

I laughed so hard i nearly fell off the chair.

[annielovesbacon]

I answered yes... I define familiarity in this context as I know my therapist's personality (or rather, her personality in a therapy setting) and her sense of humor, and she understands mine, so we get along quite well and we are able to joke around a bit during sessions. Additionally after a few years I feel mostly comfortable around her.