[stopdog]

Has the therapist ever said these things to you? multiple responses are allowed on the poll
Do you think it was sincere or just what they say to clients?

[88Butterfly88]

I don't see a poll.

[stopdog]

patience grasshopper

Yes to all, except my english isnt good enough to understand what the last one means.

[atisketatasket]

Geez, none of them ever said we got along really well. I can’t imagine why.

I mean, huh?

[stopdog]

The crazy part is - the two I just finished seeing both said all of these things to me. The get along well was put a bit differently but basically they said it. ("our relationship was really solid" is what the first one said)

[Salmon77]

Sort of? For a couple of these things. My T will say things like "I wouldn't work with someone I didn't like," so logically that means he likes me, but he never says "I like you" or anything like that in a direct way.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by Starry_Night

Yes to all, except my english isnt good enough to understand what the last one means.

That the client affects/effects them

My T has said a couple of these things to me, and no, I do not believe they were being sincere.

[LonesomeTonight]

Yes to most of them for current T, many of those for ex-MC, and a fair number for ex-T.

[DP_2017]

Variations for like 2 but mostly no. I'd cringe too much because all of that seems to therapist like. That would bug me.

"You are brave/strong" and the things about insightfulness, intelligence and being psychologically minded. How surprising for a therapy client spending all that time analyzing psychological patterns and paying high $ to share it with them! Both of them also said that I was easy to like/likeable but I did not click the "I care about/like you" option as that has a different connotation. None of the others. I don't think these are very meaningful or specific at all.

[susannahsays]

The therapist has said that I am smart and that she cares about me. I didn't believe her when she said these things, and the fact that these appear to be the most frequently used nonsense phrases used by therapists seems to suggest that I was right.

[velcro003]

I put down four:

1: It is an honor/pleasure to work with you (she said that she feels honored when i have shared really hard stuff with her)

2: We get along well (she has said something similar to this, and I agree that we do get along well).

3: You arevery smart/intellgient (she hasn't used the word "very," but she told me I was intelligent, and another T said a sense of humor is a sign of intelligence

4: I care about/like you (she has told me this recently, when I was in the "nut house.")

[velcro003]

The only one I didn't dismiss was #2.

[SlumberKitty]

My former T said multiple times that she cares about me and I believe her. I think she meant it for sure. New T hasn't said any of this stuff but she did say I have a lot of coping skills. T3 didn't think I had any coping skills and told me so.

[JaneTennison1]

No I dont think she has. She knows I hate compliments and that they do nothing for my esteem so she tends to stay away. I think she once said I was smart.

[koru_kiwi]

you need an 'all the above' selection, because i've heard them all. and here i was thinking that i was the only one stroking anyone's ego in that room....

[TishaBuv]

None of those were said to me, lol. I stopped seeing every therapist fairly soon. They said some strange, hurtful things to me that really stung so I didn’t go back to them for more.

[88Butterfly88]

Originally Posted by stopdog

patience grasshopper

Sorry...

[nottrustin]

T said some form of many of these over a 10 year period.

Emdr T haa said she really enjoys working with me. I have incredible insight, and that I am doing the really hard work.

[guilloche]

OMG... I actually had to check a bunch of them. And, it makes no sense... It often seems kind of random when they say these things. Except for the thing about "I like you!" - that was in the context of, "I like you! But I feel like we're not working, and I want to help and don't know what to do!"

This week... my poor regular T. I was telling her about the visit with the neurofeedback T (a "meet and greet" to see if I liked her) - I had tried to explain my horrible history with T's of yore to NFB T, who commented that she was surprised (that these Ts thought I was difficult), because I seemed to have a... (and this is a direct quote) "delightful personality".



I found that hilarious, and relayed it to current T... thinking she'd understand (being on the receiving end of my not-so-delightful-personality for the last year)... and her response was, "Wait? Didn't I tell you that I found you delightful? I thought I said that!?"

No. No, dear T. You have not called me delightful. Please do not. All it's going to do is make me think understand me even less!!!

[guilloche]

Wait a second... 91% of us have been told that we're bright/smart by our Ts?



Maybe we have all tapped in to the therapy hive mind via the forum. Or we look smarter, since we've read so much about how therapy is supposed to work, from our time here?

[atisketatasket]

I’m finding the percentages very illuminating. There seem to be standard therapist compliments, keyed to what most people want—to be thought of as smart, to be liked, to be seen as brave.

Not to say that the therapists don’t mean them when they say them, they probably do, but wow...it kind of seems like a mind****.

[feralkittymom]

Score another plus for former T: not a one!

Current T, however, has said a couple. I don't think she's insincere, just...naive.