[mcl6136]

Hi all,

This isn't so much a question....as I declaration. I'm practicing here on PC and asking for some reactions/responses/humor, whatever you got.

My T and I were working together pretty well. She is smart, responsive and "gets" where I am with my life and what I want to work on. I was seeing her weekly and had even tackled my big issue -- the lack of an intimate relationship. With her, I've made pretty big strides and have even more coping skills. They're so great to have, as I'm in a challenging profession and do have some health (and mental health issues; who am I kidding?) that I deal with on an ongoing basis.

This therapy has been, on balance, pretty *!** good!

But then my T had a family health issue that took her out of town. Basically, she has a family member with a terminal illness and she has left town for an extended period. She left here in mid July and there is no sense from her when she will return.

I've done some phone sessions with her, which were not very useful. Then we started to try email sessions, as she felt that she couldn't talk on the phone. I had some real questions about the billing (is answering an email really the same as a 50-minute talk session? I think not....I'm going to have to check my billing statements) One email "session" or exchange of emails went badly enough that I felt the exchange was hurtful rather than helpful, and I let her know.

Now, I'm faced with finding a new T...or just staying in this lapsed situation.

Do you think I should press for answers about her plans? I mean, how do I really bring this up? Do I simply say, what are your plans for returning to this city and what are you advising your clients to do? I mean, I can't exactly say...how long does your relative have to live, can I? I have thought about an interim T and I have also thought about just throwing in the towel. Part of me does not miss having to drive across town for yet another meeting.

Any reactions from the hive mind would help....

[CharlieStarDust]

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask; I would expect her to have a plan already, no? Just like any disruption of service from any professional, I’d like to have some kind of contingency plan or idea on how things will pan out. I’d also probably bring up my concerns about the quality and quantity of service.

Good luck!

[SlumberKitty]

I agree with CharlieStarDust. As you have had some success with this T in the past, I think it is very appropriate to ask what the plan is, how long she anticipates being in this situation, and does she have recommendations for you on how to proceed. She may have another T that is willing to step in in the interim. I hope you get some answers soon so you know how to proceed.

[Catlady321]

I think asking her about an interim plan is perfectly reasonable. Understandably she has some pretty challenging personal issues to be dealing with, and it sounds like you have a good connection toon with her. Perhaps given you work well together, she may be able to recommend an interim T (mine often talks about her friends in the same line of work, so if she was ever unavailable, I don’t think I’d be uncomfortable asking for a backup). Best of luck.

[Seelenna1982]

My personal feeling reading this and from what you’ve written before.... she should have let you move on when she went away. At least temporarily. If you’re needing regular therapy, you need someone there, not just calls or email. It seems very selfish of her to put her session fee ahead of your wellbeing.
If you’re ready to, you could begin meeting with other T’s then tell her if you find someone you really click with.
I also don’t think that there’s anything wrong with asking her what her plans are for returning. You need to know! And I honestly can’t believe she’s been billing you for any of these calls but especially the emails.
This is just my personal feeling and how I would want this for myself, I’m not claiming to be qualified to give you advice, but I’d be off if it was me!

[Salmon77]

I think it's completely fair to tell her that phone/email aren't working for you, and to ask her to refer you to someone else for face-to-face sessions while she's away. You can always switch back when she returns if that's what you want.