[Seelenna1982]

Do any of you comfortably ask your T for extra sessions? I occasionally don’t feel I can make it through the week and that another might help me somehow. But I’d never feel like I could ask, even though I’m prettt sure if T had space open she’d say yes. I’m terrified that if I asked and she didn’t have the space and would have to tell me so that I’d beat myself up over asking.

Goodness I hate being weird sometimes!

[DP_2017]

No I don't because I know mine no longer allows it.

Based on people on here, I would say vast majority do though. So why not? Just ask, explain why you feel you need one and ask if they might be able to fit you in a second time in the week. If your insurance is ok with it, it shouldn't be an issue unless your T has rules like mine, but I knew mine up front

[SlumberKitty]

I never felt comfortable asking for a second session but a couple of times when I was really struggling my former T offered a second session. Probably like 2 times in 10 years. I think it would be good to ask, I just never did.

[LabRat27]

I couldn't bring myself to do so either for the same reasons. And I didn't want to be told that I was asking for too much/something I'm not "allowed" to have.

I ended up going in to the counseling service's walk in "urgent care" that my university has for students because it was looking like my insurance wasn't going to pay for any more IOP and I was feeling like I was going to be all alone again like when I originally got terminated and didn't have any support system. The therapist there was really really good and understanding and had a background in like attachment stuff and he spent a really long time talking to me. One of the things he brought up was whether seeing my therapist twice a week instead of once a week would help. I said yes, but that I couldn't bring myself to ask because I was scared of being told no.
He offered to tell my therapist that he'd asked me whether I thought it would be helpful and I'd said yes. It's not uncommon to sign a release so they can let your therapist know that you went in and stuff. I agreed to it because then it wouldn't be me asking for it.

My therapist brought it up the next session and asked if that was something I'd want to do. I said yes, and so that's how I moved up to twice a week. It originally seemed like it was going to be a short term/crisis period thing.
But he's been continued to offer twice a week when we schedule.
Yesterday we scheduled for the first few weeks of October and he asked about when would work for me and he didn't say anything about once a week vs twice a week and I've always kind of waited for him to offer. I eventually worked up the courage to ask if I could still do twice a week and he said yes and he didn't sound annoyed by it/begrudging.

tl;dr: it's complicated and I kind of asked but kind of didn't

I've found it really helpful. It's kind of like a sanity check that keeps me from catastrophizing/working myself up too much between sessions. If I have an entire week I'll have convinced myself of a lot more awful things and talked myself into some stupid stuff. This way I can get things out there with him before I manage to convince myself to act on it.

[LonesomeTonight]

It might help to ask about it in general before you need it. Like to say, "Sometimes I want to ask for an extra session, but I don't know if it would be allowed." And if your T says it would be OK and she'd try to fit you in, that should make it easier to ask for it at the time. And to get a sense if she often has space or is usually all booked up.


I see my T twice a week, but he made the initial offer once I stopped seeing ex-marriage counselor regularly (he made the realization that I'm used to seeing two T's a week, so once weekly was cutting my therapy time in half). I also occasionally ask him for an earlier (like Wednesday in place of Thursday) or extra session if I'm struggling or upset about something that happened in session, and he's generally been able to fit me in. Which I really appreciate. He has a smaller client load, so he tends to have an opening or two--with previous T and marriage counselor, it was rarely an option to have an extra session--worked out once with each over the course of multiple years.

It's hard for me to ask but I do. Earlier this month I asked for a 2nd session one week on a Saturday. She doesn't work weekends but I asked anyway cuz it felt important to me and she said yes. I struggled with guilt about it ! But glad I asked n she said yes cuz it was really helpful.

Eta oh yeah I told her it was hard to ask esp for a Saturday and she reminded me that she's an adult and can say no if she doesn't want to do something.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

I used to ask for extra sessions every second week. I always felt guilty about asking and had to talk myself into it. But my T reassured me every time that it was okay for me to ask, and at some point he just started offering a second regular session.

[Seelenna1982]

Originally Posted by ChickenNoodleSoup

I used to ask for extra sessions every second week. I always felt guilty about asking and had to talk myself into it. But my T reassured me every time that it was okay for me to ask, and at some point he just started offering a second regular session.

Thats reassuring. Thank you! I think I might ask and try not to sound too apologetic while doing it.

[Seelenna1982]

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

Eta oh yeah I told her it was hard to ask esp for a Saturday and she reminded me that she's an adult and can say no if she doesn't want to do something.

You are so right! It’s funny in my line of work I don’t mind doing things out of the ordinary for a client at all! I’m a grown up and have every chance to say I can’t do something. I just wish I could give myself the same patience and understanding I give to others.

I sometimes ask but my t said they didnt seem to be of help to me even though i stated they were and also it is very difficult to get one as my t is so booked out. This makes me feel like i am worthy of one too.

[Seelenna1982]

Thank you for all of your suggestions and experiences. I asked, extra session happened, and I’m glad I did! Not something I’d like to make a habit of though.

[Lemoncake]

I'm glad you were able to ask for what you needed !

[stopdog]

I wouldn't look at it like asking their permission. You are buying time. They are selling time. Do they have more time to sell you?
Or hire others of them so that supply and demand is more spread out.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I wouldn't look at it like asking their permission. You are buying time. They are selling time. Do they have more time to sell you?
Or hire others of them so that supply and demand is more spread out.

This is a good point--I've thanked my T for an extra session before, and he's said, "It's my job!" Like, he's not doing me a favor, I'm still paying him.

[velcro003]

I'm glad you did it too. I have asked for extra sessions when things are going really bad and I'm able to take time off of work.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by Seelenna1982

Thank you for all of your suggestions and experiences. I asked, extra session happened, and I’m glad I did! Not something I’d like to make a habit of though.

I'm glad you were able to ask for one and got it!

[Lrad123]

Can you ask in an indirect sort of way so that the answer doesn’t feel so personal if it’s a “no”? Like maybe, “I’m just wondering what your policy is on 2nd sessions if I were ever to want one one in the future.”