[1stepatatime]

Hi everyone. It’s been a long time since I have posted on here. I am still in therapy, once a week. I’ve been with my therapist for 5 1/2 years. I’m sort of at an impasse. Starting to feel like it’s not a huge priority in my life like it once was. I’ve grown in many ways and I’m thankful for the help of my therapist. We have had our differences over the years, some greater than others.
So last night I had asked if I could come on a different day ( just on this one specific occasion). She started to pencil me in for the date I requested but she went on to tell me that if she couldn’t fill my usual time in for that week that I would have to not only pay for my session on the rescheduled date but also on my usual day!! That just doesn’t seem fair or right! I’ve requested to switch days in the past and it’s never been an issue.. I will add that I’ve only made this request two or three times in the five and a half years that we’ve been working together. Does anyone else have a therapist that works like that? I’d be curious to know your thoughts... thanks!

[guilloche]

You're in the US? I know things are different in other countries, but I'm in the US, and that sounds nuts to me. Every therapist that I've ever seen has allowed you to cancel or reschedule, as long as you do it far enough in advance, with no penalty. Which you clearly did.

("Far enough in advance" is usually written in to the rules that they give you when you start seeing them. For some, it's 24 business hours, sometimes 48, and one guy that I saw required 3 business days - which was a little crazy, but at least it was disclosed.)

I'd be really upset about being asked to pay for both sessions, personally. Did you ask your T if this was a new policy? I would also point out that I was giving them ample notice, and that I have, literally, absolutely zero control over her ability to fill slots on her schedule. I think that if my T insisted, it might turn in to a pretty big rupture, because it feels outside of normal business practices and normal T-practices (and feels like a money-grab, to me!)

Ugh, I'm sorry - I'd be upset by the whole thing. I hope you can get some clarity around it!

[1stepatatime]

Originally Posted by guilloche

You're in the US? I know things are different in other countries, but I'm in the US, and that sounds nuts to me. Every therapist that I've ever seen has allowed you to cancel or reschedule, as long as you do it far enough in advance, with no penalty. Which you clearly did.

("Far enough in advance" is usually written in to the rules that they give you when you start seeing them. For some, it's 24 business hours, sometimes 48, and one guy that I saw required 3 business days - which was a little crazy, but at least it was disclosed.)

I'd be really upset about being asked to pay for both sessions, personally. Did you ask your T if this was a new policy? I would also point out that I was giving them ample notice, and that I have, literally, absolutely zero control over her ability to fill slots on her schedule. I think that if my T insisted, it might turn in to a pretty big rupture, because it feels outside of normal business practices and normal T-practices (and feels like a money-grab, to me!)

Ugh, I'm sorry - I'd be upset by the whole thing. I hope you can get some clarity around it!

Thanks! Yes, I’m in the US. I am aware of her crazy cancellation policy. It’s really extreme however I started working with her before she made this ultra strict policy and all that was/ is required by me is to give her 24 hours notice if I’m not going to make it to a session. There hasn’t been any issues around that. Anyone who has signed on with her after she created this policy is bound to it. Even if you are home puking your brains out .. too bad, still have to pay. Again, this doesn’t apply to me since I started well before she made that her policy. But this crock of sh** that I would have to pay for not one but two times ( if she didn’t fill that hour) even though I only went once.. I just met with her last night and it’s been absorbing all day.. the more I tho you about it the more it makes me feel angry. And yes.. it feels like money grabbing too!

[stopdog]

No - that sounds crazy and I simply would cancel and go to neither. And I would not pay.

[1stepatatime]

Hey Stopdog! You’re right.. I may cancel for next week, just because!! ; )

[SlumberKitty]

I wouldn't like that policy. You have no control over whether the other session gets filled, and the T has no incentive to fill it because T will be paid either way. You are being responsible by asking for a different day ahead of time. This just doesn't seem right to me. I wouldn't like it at all.

I’ve never had to pay for mine, so I lack experience. but that sounds ridiculous and so very wrong to me. It’s not your responsibility to make sure she fills her calander. She’s still giving you the same amount of care and receiving the same amount of payment for the week - you are just filling a different hole in her schedule that week - one of those hours was going to be free either way. This really pisses me off for you.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

You are continuing to pay your session fee at the new time, so she is not out any money due to the switch.

It's her responsibility to fill her empty time slots and to bear the financial burden if they go unfilled.

[1stepatatime]

Originally Posted by IRememberMyFirstBee

I’ve never had to pay for mine, so I lack experience. but that sounds ridiculous and so very wrong to me. It’s not your responsibility to make sure she fills her calander. She’s still giving you the same amount of care and receiving the same amount of payment for the week - you are just filling a different hole in her schedule that week - one of those hours was going to be free either way. This really pisses me off for you.

Thank you... yes, the more I think about it the more it angers me. I am thinking this is straight up greed.. and a need to completely manipulate a situation.

[1stepatatime]

Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks

You are continuing to pay your session fee at the new time, so she is not out any money due to the switch.

It's her responsibility to fill her empty time slots and to bear the financial burden if they go unfilled.

Completely logical!! I do not understand how she comes up with this nonsense.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by 1stepatatime

Thank you... yes, the more I think about it the more it angers me. I am thinking this is straight up greed.. and a need to completely manipulate a situation.

It would really bother me, too. Because I assume you let her know plenty in advance. And...if she's making you pay her if she doesn't fill the slot, then it seems she wouldn't make as much effort to fill the time. Because she's getting paid regardless.

[1stepatatime]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

It would really bother me, too. Because I assume you let her know plenty in advance. And...if she's making you pay her if she doesn't fill the slot, then it seems she wouldn't make as much effort to fill the time. Because she's getting paid regardless.

Right. I thought about that too. She could just leave that hour open, have some time to herself AND get paid!! It feels wrong, even if she honestly could not fill that hour I’m still paying her for her services , just on a different day and she wants to get paid twice! She calls it a “ risk “ in the event that she can’t fill that time slot. I’m thinking about emailing her and telling her how this makes me feel. Thanks for your input : )

[Ididitmyway]

That's crazy. It especially stinks to get this from your T who has known you for such a long time. Others have already expressed all the reasons why it stinks. I have nothing to add, except that I would see this as "the omen" to wrap things up and to end therapy all together since, as you said, you don't feel it's as important for you now as it was before. So, this would be a sign for me to close this chapter in my life and to start a new beginning.

[1stepatatime]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

That's crazy. It especially stinks to get this from your T who has known you for such a long time. Others have already expressed all the reasons why it stinks. I have nothing to add, except that I would see this as "the omen" to wrap things up and to end therapy all together since, as you said, you don't feel it's as important for you now as it was before. So, this would be a sign for me to close this chapter in my life and to start a new beginning.

I didn’t even take the fact that we’ve been working together for over five years into consideration, that’s insulting! I have gone to this woman faithfully without hardly ever canceling on her. You would think that she would be a little more flexible with me.. unless maybe she is ready for me to go! Who knows!

[SummerTime12]

This would really upset me and I honestly think I would quit over it if my therapist asked me to do that. She’s not losing ANY money so there’s absolutely no risk involved whatsoever. It makes me wonder if the different time slot you got was someone else’s canceled time who will also be paying her for that hour. I truly hope not though. I’m sorry your T is handling the situation like this. It’s definitely unethical.

[here today]

Originally Posted by 1stepatatime

I didn’t even take the fact that we’ve been working together for over five years into consideration, that’s insulting! I have gone to this woman faithfully without hardly ever canceling on her. You would think that she would be a little more flexible with me.. unless maybe she is ready for me to go! Who knows!

Yes, who knows. Maybe she doesn't even?

You could look on the "bright" side -- maybe she's providing you with this omen, or manipulation, because she feels that it's time to wrap things up, too? Do therapists ever say that directly? Not any I've ever been to. I've been kicked out but that's different. Maybe she does feel a little like you all are at the end of what she has to offer you, and she didn't know how to say it or address it? Like you said, who knows. But it's definitely a stupid, unacceptable requirement of hers about the double payment.

Glad you feel you have made progress and grown over the years with her help. That's great!!

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by 1stepatatime

I didn’t even take the fact that we’ve been working together for over five years into consideration, that’s insulting! I have gone to this woman faithfully without hardly ever canceling on her. You would think that she would be a little more flexible with me.. unless maybe she is ready for me to go! Who knows!

You both might be mutually ready to let go of each other. This may sound woo-woo to some people, but I firmly believe that people communicate with each other on subtle energy levels. I also know from experience that oftentimes things are brought to an end through disappointments, frustrations and negative events. It usually happens when it's time to end something, but we can't gather the strengths and the courage to do that. Then, something interferes and "helps" us to end what is no longer serving us. Just a thought..

Originally Posted by 1stepatatime

Hi everyone. It’s been a long time since I have posted on here. I am still in therapy, once a week. I’ve been with my therapist for 5 1/2 years. I’m sort of at an impasse. Starting to feel like it’s not a huge priority in my life like it once was. I’ve grown in many ways and I’m thankful for the help of my therapist. We have had our differences over the years, some greater than others.
So last night I had asked if I could come on a different day ( just on this one specific occasion). She started to pencil me in for the date I requested but she went on to tell me that if she couldn’t fill my usual time in for that week that I would have to not only pay for my session on the rescheduled date but also on my usual day!! That just doesn’t seem fair or right! I’ve requested to switch days in the past and it’s never been an issue.. I will add that I’ve only made this request two or three times in the five and a half years that we’ve been working together. Does anyone else have a therapist that works like that? I’d be curious to know your thoughts... thanks!

Thsts outrageous.
I've had to do it once or twice and though T is under no obligation to give me another time. She always has. In fact. When I've just said I won't be able to make it in on a certain day. She's asked me if I'd like another time.
But this is rare. If I did it all the time then she'd talk to me about it I expect.

[Catlady321]

I would be upset over that! Mine has a pretty rigid 48 hour notice cancellation policy - which I understand - she’s running a business, right? But charging two sessions when you’re only having one is kind of greedy! My T is pretty strict about how we will meet on x day at x time, and I haven’t actually needed to change it yet (although she has). Saying that, I have a session booked on the same day as starting a new job and I have no idea if I’ll make it (with commuting, etc) and she said she wouldn’t charge for that as it’s ‘exceptional circumstances’. She cancelled on me this week on pretty short notice (same day), rearranged me and then cancelled again (she’s sick) and I’m mildly annoyed by that. If I get sick, I still have to pay her.

Originally Posted by 1stepatatime

Hi everyone. It’s been a long time since I have posted on here. I am still in therapy, once a week. I’ve been with my therapist for 5 1/2 years. I’m sort of at an impasse. Starting to feel like it’s not a huge priority in my life like it once was. I’ve grown in many ways and I’m thankful for the help of my therapist. We have had our differences over the years, some greater than others.
So last night I had asked if I could come on a different day ( just on this one specific occasion). She started to pencil me in for the date I requested but she went on to tell me that if she couldn’t fill my usual time in for that week that I would have to not only pay for my session on the rescheduled date but also on my usual day!! That just doesn’t seem fair or right! I’ve requested to switch days in the past and it’s never been an issue.. I will add that I’ve only made this request two or three times in the five and a half years that we’ve been working together. Does anyone else have a therapist that works like that? I’d be curious to know your thoughts... thanks!

[starfishing]

That seems ridiculous to me. And highly unrealistic of her. I know there are therapists out there who charge for all missed sessions regardless of the cancellation reason or amount of notice given, and while that wouldn't work for me and seems archaic, I can at least see where it comes from. Meanwhile, this version seems much worse and pointlessly punitive.

[TishaBuv]

Hell no! I’d quit that therapist. The nerve! If she were taking insurance, she would only get paid for actual treatment.