[weaverbeaver]

So I have noticed s pattern between t and I. She used to answer all of my texts unless they were angry ones, then she would wait a few days to answer.
Lately she doesn’t answer any of my texts. Yet she texts me sometimes about appointments or could I give her a lift. I always answer her and lately I just feel used.
I have made a conscious decision to block her on my phone so she can’t ring or text me. She rang twice this weeek asking me to change days and times.
I am feeling very annoyed and angry and am trying to refrain from sending her an angry text. I just feel like ghosting her forever and never going back.

[RaineD]

Your T asks you for rides?

[fille_folle]

Wait, is this a new T or the old T?

[SlumberKitty]

I think its bizarre that your T asks you for a lift. I would feel used also.

[Deejay14]

Not appropriate for her to ask you for a lift. Keeping bad boundaries.

[Fuzzybear]

This is very strange and unprofessional from a therapist, imo

[Amyjay]

Wow. Yeah, you are justified in your annoyance and anger. This T is really blurring boundaries and making the therapeutic relationship very murky.

I am going to ignore the asking you for rides things. That is so inappropriate in any therapeutic relationship I won't comment further about it.

But repeatedly changing times on you is disrespectful. It doesn't value you you as a client deserving of consistency or boundaries at all. It throws you into the "don't matter" wastebasket.

Weaverbeaver, this T is taking you for a ride.

But she will have you dependent on her in some way, won't she? So you will put up with whatever crap she does, even though it hurts...

[stopdog]

Which one is this? I thought you quit therapy.

[weaverbeaver]

Originally Posted by fille_folle

Wait, is this a new T or the old T?

Old t, I stupidly went back but I was struggling too much

[weaverbeaver]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Which one is this? I thought you quit therapy.

I did and I went back to old t again because I was really struggling.
I went to this new male t and he was very weird and used reiki and hypnotherapy for the first few sessions, I never asked for either so I quit!

[weaverbeaver]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

Wow. Yeah, you are justified in your annoyance and anger. This T is really blurring boundaries and making the therapeutic relationship very murky.



I am going to ignore the asking you for rides things. That is so inappropriate in any therapeutic relationship I won't comment further about it.



But repeatedly changing times on you is disrespectful. It doesn't value you you as a client deserving of consistency or boundaries at all. It throws you into the "don't matter" wastebasket.


Weaverbeaver, this T is taking you for a ride.


But she will have you dependent on her in some way, won't she? So you will put up with whatever crap she does, even though it hurts...

Yes, that’s exactly how I feel again used and abused. It hurts that when I ask her something about therapy she ignores it but when she wants to know something I answer straight away. It sucks

[weaverbeaver]

Originally Posted by RaineD

Your T asks you for rides?

Yes, after session. Once before, this week I will have to bring her somewhere after session too!

[Echos Myron redux]

I really hope you manage to leave this T and find someone of your own choosing rather than through work like the weird guy.

This woman you are seeing is not behaving ethically. If she is a member of the BACP you can use the ask Kathleen service to talk about the way she is treating you. Have you heard about or done that before?

[Echos Myron redux]

Here's a link to ask Kathleen:
What to do if you have concerns about your counselling or psychotherapy

I don't think she needs to be MBACP for you to use the service actually, and it's confidential.

I agree with others that asking for rides sounds very inappropriate. I've just looked at some of your old threads because I was not familiar with your therapy history. Is this the old T that also asked you for coffee?

I definitely would try to look for a brand new therapist who just does normal talk therapy (if that's what you want). Maybe ask myself why I engage with these weird ones. For me, asking the question why I was going back to an irresponsible and messed up T was quite meaningful, even if not pleasant to admit.

[weaverbeaver]

Originally Posted by Echos Myron redux

I really hope you manage to leave this T and find someone of your own choosing rather than through work like the weird guy.


This woman you are seeing is not behaving ethically. If she is a member of the BACP you can use the ask Kathleen service to talk about the way she is treating you. Have you heard about or done that before?

I have heard about it but never had a desire to report her. I had a feeling something was wrong with our interactions but don’t quite know how to articulate it, that’s what puts me off availing of that service.
I felt weird with t in my car, it was very intimate. She was putting on lipstick, and I could see she sandwiches for her lunch

[weaverbeaver]

Originally Posted by Xynesthesia

I agree with others that asking for rides sounds very inappropriate. I've just looked at some of your old threads because I was not familiar with your therapy history. Is this the old T that also asked you for coffee?

I definitely would try to look for a brand new therapist who just does normal talk therapy (if that's what you want). Maybe ask myself why I engage with these weird ones. For me, asking the question why I was going back to an irresponsible and messed up T was quite meaningful, even if not pleasant to admit.

Thank you for this, I have been thinking about this all day. I think because they don’t have good boundaries and they treat me differently. It’s not like I set out to find them. I didn’t have any choice with t from work but this t I chose.
It’s not the t that asked me out for coffee it’s the t I had a rupture with about reporting my abuser.

[Echos Myron redux]

Originally Posted by weaverbeaver

I have heard about it but never had a desire to report her. I had a feeling something was wrong with our interactions but don’t quite know how to articulate it, that’s what puts me off availing of that service.
I felt weird with t in my car, it was very intimate. She was putting on lipstick, and I could see she sandwiches for her lunch

Ask Kathleen isn't about reporting her. It's just a place to talk through what's happening and get a different perspective. I know you say you can't articulate it but I think you do a good job here.
I would consider chatting with them. You don't have to identify her to them.

[weaverbeaver]

Some parts of me are afraid of t because she has so much power in the therapy field. She knows everyone and everyone knows her.
She has a lot of power over me still and I struggle with talking about her. Maybe this is why I come on here because it’s so anonymous and supportive and nobody knows my t.
I actually feel afraid of her a lot of times when she gets angry at me. The way she pops into my dreams and the way she knows everyone I know. The way she could report my abuse without my consent and then tell me I was projecting my anger at the wrong person. It’s so messed up and I feel trapped

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by weaverbeaver

I just feel like ghosting her forever and never going back.

There is nothing wrong with doing this. I think when a client has to block a therapist who asks to change appointments frequently and for rides, this may be your best option.

Only when my T was sick, did he ask to switch appointments as his medical needs were changing. Otherwise I think it's a sign of someone who doesn't have her basic professionalism in mind. I'm a professional who shows up on time, does what she says she is going to do, and that's what I think is required when I see a therapist or other professional.

[RaineD]

Can you terminate with her? This doesn't sound like a healthy situation for you. You shouldn't be afraid of your therapist.

[weaverbeaver]

Originally Posted by Anne2.0

There is nothing wrong with doing this. I think when a client has to block a therapist who asks to change appointments frequently and for rides, this may be your best option.


Only when my T was sick, did he ask to switch appointments as his medical needs were changing. Otherwise I think it's a sign of someone who doesn't have her basic professionalism in mind. I'm a professional who shows up on time, does what she says she is going to do, and that's what I think is required when I see a therapist or other professional.

I expect that from a therapist too! It’s not too much to ask for and there is no reason t can’t keep our times! This week she wanted me to come early because she had no other appointments and wanted to finish early.

[weaverbeaver]

Originally Posted by RaineD

Can you terminate with her? This doesn't sound like a healthy situation for you. You shouldn't be afraid of your therapist.

I am seriously thinking of just ghosting her. It’s easier than terminating. I may see her around where we live but I will ignore her.
I am afraid because she gets so angry at me and it’s not healthy. Nothing savour our relationship is healthy

[imnotbroken]

I wouldn’t tolerate that. Like others said, she’s using you. You do not need to put up with that. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Hugs.

[downandlonely]

yeah, sounds like you need to stop seeing her