[Fuzzybear]

I was reading an old thread and didn’t want to bump that up..as it was quite a while ago..but I think it’s an interesting topic. What do you use this forum for, and what are your motivations and rewards. I find the interpersonal dynamics interesting and have tried out a few “new” ways of relating which didn’t work out well for me though I “succeeded” in pissing at least one person off... but actually I don’t take the blame for that. I think most conflicts (or dislike) between peers aren’t just one person’s “fault” .. usually...

Maybe I unconsciously chose a judgmental therapist I don’t know . Maybe I wanted to ... I’m not sure what it’s called.. being drawn to a Narcissistic therapist having had Narcissistic parents is it called “compulsion to repeat” (probably) ... to try to make things work out better with the “difficult” therapist than it worked out with my parental units?

I think I had internalised a feeling of being fundamentally bad or ... I dislike even using those words. and the therapy didn’t help with this.. he tried to force me to be more social and that wasn’t what I went into therapy for... ugh.

I’m not sure how many people aren’t still in therapy but still post here? I
appreciate the different perspectives here.

Do you feel a sense of community here? Do you feel safe to post what’s on your mind?

[SlumberKitty]

I joined PC this Summer when I was having to look for a new T because mine got sick with MS. I thought it would be a good support to have--and it has been. For the psychotherapy forum in particular, I am in therapy, and I have been in therapy for lots of years, so I feel like I have something to contribute because I have some experience with therapy. I like to try to support others and get support when I need it, and it's great getting hugs because IMO you can never have too many of those. Then the couch thread, I feel like its community building and you get to know different aspects of peoples lives, like I talk about work a lot because work is a big part of my life, so that part of the forum fulfills like a social need for me. I feel safe to post here. I think there's a sense of community.

[Fuzzybear]

I’m not sure this was a “good” question. Maybe I need to hide in my cave.

****ed up
Insecure
Neurotic
Empathic

I’m f.i.n.e.

[DP_2017]

Honestly, to kill my boredom mostly...

T doesn't like me going here, because I read too many things and it spooks me and carries over to things with him, but I'm more secure with us lately so I don't freak out like I used to

I do think I am on here too often but it's too hard to cut myself off. I like reading people's stories and trying to help if I can

[downandlonely]

I don't think you're doing anything wrong Fuzzy. You put the first post up less than an hour ago, so people might not have seen it yet.

I started going to an different forum for depression when I had just moved to a new city, was battling with depression and anxiety, and didn't know anyone in real life. I felt really close to some of the people I met on there, but one by one they all stopped coming. The forum is still up, but there is only one user (besides me) who is on there regularly. So it stopped being much support. One of the former members of that forum mentioned psych central, so I joined here. I find it much more active, although the chat has been quieter lately. It seems like a lot of people post on here, but don't go in the chat rooms. Maybe they don't feel comfortable in chat. I'm not sure.

About therapy, I saw therapists for a while. Some were bad, and some were decent. But I never really felt like they understood what I was going through. It helps me more to talk to people like you who really get it. And I also go to real life support groups and talk to people there as well. If you didn't get along with therapists, you might want to try a support group.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Honestly, to kill my boredom mostly...

T doesn't like me going here, because I read too many things and it spooks me and carries over to things with him, but I'm more secure with us lately so I don't freak out like I used to

I do think I am on here too often but it's too hard to cut myself off. I like reading people's stories and trying to help if I can

Your t definitely sounds like a good t. The t who hurt me was ok to begin with but not that great..and I wasn’t open.. I didn’t trust him, so it took a very long time to ... also I really think the system over here is **** and so many t’s seem to have worked for that system at some point, even the private t’s .. but I guess some haven’t. I guess I’m partly here to kill my boredom as well..

[Fuzzybear]

I know what you mean about t’s .. a lot of the time they didn’t seem to get what I’m going through .. they focused on early childhood and were very dismissive/judgmental of some horrible things that happened later on. I think maybe a lot of t’s don’t like working with anxiety, or expect quick results, I don’t know. And I didn’t trust them..

Originally Posted by downandlonely

I don't think you're doing anything wrong Fuzzy. You put the first post up less than an hour ago, so people might not have seen it yet.

I started going to an different forum for depression when I had just moved to a new city, was battling with depression and anxiety, and didn't know anyone in real life. I felt really close to some of the people I met on there, but one by one they all stopped coming. The forum is still up, but there is only one user (besides me) who is on there regularly. So it stopped being much support. One of the former members of that forum mentioned psych central, so I joined here. I find it much more active, although the chat has been quieter lately. It seems like a lot of people post on here, but don't go in the chat rooms. Maybe they don't feel comfortable in chat. I'm not sure.

About therapy, I saw therapists for a while. Some were bad, and some were decent. But I never really felt like they understood what I was going through. It helps me more to talk to people like you who really get it. And I also go to real life support groups and talk to people there as well. If you didn't get along with therapists, you might want to try a support group.

[DP_2017]

Fuzzy,

You should try going to PsychologyToday.com if you are in the US... you can search T's by their skills and such in your area.

My T deals with trauma and anxiety but we don't really focus on the past unless I ask to, he's more into trying to help me feel better now and going forward. So there is some like that... might be worth looking into for yourself

[koru_kiwi]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I’m not sure how many people aren’t still in therapy but still post here? I
appreciate the different perspectives here.

Do you feel a sense of community here? Do you feel safe to post what’s on your mind?

i ended therapy about 18 months ago and still continue to participate here a bit. i started lurking on PC when i first started therapy with my first T. i use to be quite active on another forum because it felt like a safer environment since it was a support forum geared towards my issues. the reason i finally joined PC was after i switched to my second T, mainly because PC was the only place that actually had a sub forum to discuss loving/erotic transference towards your T.

when i first use to come here, i didn't quite feel a sense of community, because many of the things i was experiencing about therapy and the relationship with my ex-T seemed different to what others were sharing. it felt very confusing to me. i was afraid to post and share many of my experiences for fear of being shamed. or 'ganged' up on because of these different experiences, beliefs and views. fortunately, as time has gone on over the years, i have noticed that there are more members here who have had similar experiences to mine and are speaking up more and sharing about them. that is mainly why i still continue to come here even after ending therapy. being able to talk and relate to others who have had similar experiences with their therapy/therapists has helped me to process many of the feelings that i was left with after i terminated therapy. even though i had a good ending, and i wanted to terminate, the who process of therapy, especially the therapeutic relationship, had been such a mind blowing experince over the many years i was participating, that i find there are many things i have not quite come to terms with or fully understand. coming here has helped me in that regard, but while at the same time, i hope i can help support and inform others who may be struggling in therapy now or after they have ended. since i have come along pretty far in my own healing, i no longer fear sharing my stories here.

thanks for starting this thread

I dont have a sense of community or belonging here. My posts pretty much get ignored. I mostly just read because I am interested in other people’s lives, and maybe once in a while have something helpful to say I hope.

[velcro003]

i have absolutely zero memory how or why i found this forum. its been a long time. i currently use it because i feel a part of a community, even if i don't ever write much. i like to read other people's stories. plus, no one in my "real life" would understand therapy and all its intricacies.

I use this forum because I have experienced therapy gone bad. It helps to vent and express thoughts to others who suffer and have suffered too.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

I found the forums because I was looking for any kind of information that would help me deal with the train wreck my life had become.

I started reading this particular forum because I was curious about my own therapy and trying to figure out how and why it works.

I've stuck around because I can talk about some of the things I can't really discuss in real life. In real life, very few people know that my husband was abusive and I am seeing a therapist, and it's helpful to have a place to talk about those things even though I don't post super often.

Also, I like the people. Many of the discussions and posters here are insightful, intelligent, articulate, kind, sometimes amusing.

It's a good question, Fuzzy.

To let everyone know that therapy is just phony mind games.

[Saunder]

I stopped going to once a week group last year thru my medical plan. I had started talking more about my depression getting worse & didn't want to go back to hospital which has never helped. I'm not a good actor. Certain trigger words can send me back to hospital. When not severely depressed I'm OK being alone. Now it's almost unbearable. The thoughts in my head never stop. So PC and talk radio, (sports talk & other non important stuff are my entire life). Can barely leave apartment. Don't want anyone to know I've basically lost my mind. Once in awhile go downstairs to get mail and drive my car around for 15 mins or so. At end of day I'm exhausted. I haven't done a darn thing. Sorry if I've said much of this before. Thought about leaving PC but need a break from my thoughts. So many caring people here. Non judgemental. Thanks

[here today]

I looked back at my first posts -- 6 years ago! And although I was still hopeful about and in therapy at that point, it is clear that I was coming here then for the main reason I come here now -- a chance to read and share somewhat similar experiences with people, and the sense of community that that brings. I could never share those experiences with "regular" people. And even people in the in person support groups I attended didn't feel as open as people are here. I've been in one in person group now, for about 3 years, that is getting to seem as close and safe as this forum. But I do wonder if I could have allowed that to happen for me with people IRL if I hadn't had the experiences I've had here first.

My primary interest, when I first started to read PC (long before I signed up) was more professional than personal - I work in the mental health field. But then I decided to venture into therapy in 2015 and signed up to learn about it more and to share experiences. At times I use the forum as a sort of "harm reduction" - I used to spend a lot of time with useless interactions online and this is far from useless. The psychotherapy forum was very helpful for me not to buy into the more ambiguous/dark sides of therapy and not to get stuck in it. I also enjoy sharing my challenges, thoughts, opinions etc and hope some find them useful at times. I do feel a sense of community here (many people come and go but there has been a quite solid core of regulars since I've been a member and a few more recent posters that I very much appreciate). I feel completely safe posting here and I spoke about pretty much all of my main mental health-related challenges on various threads, I see no risk at all. I take what I like from it and don't mind the rest, works for me quite well. I like it also because, reading others' shares/responses, observing my internal reactions and often even just writing my posts, I sometimes have very good realizations and insights about my life experiences and how I work - I did not get any better from therapy and this is free!

[seeker33]

I feel safe and I feel a sense of community as well. This is the best forum I've found so far.
I enjoy reading people's stories and opinions. When I joined I had absolutely no experience with therapy or knowledge about mental issues. Reading the forum helped me understand my therapy better and be more open with my therapist. If I didn't read the forum I would have thought I was the only one with certain feelings or needs. Seeing other people struggle with the same issue was extremely comforting and helpful.

[Myrto]

In the beginning I used to come here because I was in therapy and obsessed about it. Now it's been 1 year and a half since I stopped therapy and I don't plan to ever return. I still frequent psychcentral because my girlfriend has a specific issue and I want to understand it fully to be a good girlfriend to her. There is no equivalent of this kind of forum in French (or perhaps I haven't found it). I also like to sometimes balance all the "therapists are wonderful human beings!" cries that I see a lot on here in order to show people that therapy is not the only thing that can help or even to question whether it's helpful or necessary at all. Critical views of therapy have certainly helped me process the whole experience and have opened my eyes to a lot of BS in the profession. I like the intellectual aspect of discussing stuff and it's hard to find it (therapy criticisms) elsewhere (there are some books here and there but that's about it). I'm still interested in therapy but from a vastly different perspective: sociological and feminist mostly.

[imnotbroken]

At first, I joined because I was (okay, still am) obsessed with therapy and especially with T. I needed to find an answer to something she'd asked about my nervousness around her, and I found this forum.

Now, I use it as the safe place I can talk openly about something that happened in therapy, or help others with stuff I have gone/am going through. I really like it here.

I found the site while researching bipolar. I guess I joined to talk to people going through a similar experience. I like being on here because I can be honest about what I'm feeling without all the judgement. People here understand that there are many components to mental illness. It's a safe space where I feel "normal". I guess by that I mean, accepted, as is.

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks for the replies, I appreciate you guys <3

And I actually appreciate everyone who posts here, for the most part. Honest sharing, even of negative feelings at times, was never allowed by my PUS.

They did however shut me out permanently for minor infractions, or not even that, it was part of normal development why the **** did they have a bear cub

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I was reading an old thread and didn’t want to bump that up..as it was quite a while ago..but I think it’s an interesting topic. What do you use this forum for, and what are your motivations and rewards. I find the interpersonal dynamics interesting and have tried out a few “new” ways of relating which didn’t work out well for me though I “succeeded” in pissing at least one person off... but actually I don’t take the blame for that. I think most conflicts (or dislike) between peers aren’t just one person’s “fault” .. usually...

Maybe I unconsciously chose a judgmental therapist I don’t know . Maybe I wanted to ... I’m not sure what it’s called.. being drawn to a Narcissistic therapist having had Narcissistic parents is it called “compulsion to repeat” (probably) ... to try to make things work out better with the “difficult” therapist than it worked out with my parental units?

I think I had internalised a feeling of being fundamentally bad or ... I dislike even using those words. and the therapy didn’t help with this.. he tried to force me to be more social and that wasn’t what I went into therapy for... ugh.

I’m not sure how many people aren’t still in therapy but still post here? I
appreciate the different perspectives here.

Do you feel a sense of community here? Do you feel safe to post what’s on your mind?

I use PC for support, to give support, to vent, and to learn more about my self by reading about others, and I do see a Pdoc. and T.

[Fuzzybear]

Pdoc yeah I wish gggrrrrrrrrrrrr

Hugs to you

[RaineD]

These days I use it mostly to talk to my (now dead) therapist. I used to complain about him on here. I also used to write things I was too afraid to tell him. Those fears were mostly silly.