I am wondering if anyone has any tips/guidance/relate. I am planning on being this up next session, but want to consider it beforehand.


I have this tendancy to distract myself with non-issues. That are problems, but not at the core of my barriers to moving forward and pursuing contentment. I always have something that comes up that I can bring to therapy, which in itself is an achievement after 3 years of not really bringing anything to the table. However, these issues change from week to week and feel erratic that i feel my T only gets a glimpse of my whole self. I also tend to avoid the bigger things and or dissociate around them. I just feel like there is so much and I am not addressing it. Instead I am talking about a fall out with a friend and then switching the topics to feeling dissatisfied. It feels disjointed and not a whole feeling.


I am scared that in 12 months I will be in this position and I have laid out I do not want to be.


How do you know what you are focusing on is actually the issue.

[feileacan]

I suppose the opinions vary in this issue but I believe that the situation you describe the only real solution is to just trust the process. This means to believe that although it seems to you that you are talking about distracting problems and not the real issues and everything seems erratic, you are actually on some level working or at least approaching to your core issues. For some reason you just are not ready to address them more directly (hence the avoidance and dissociation).

I'm not a therapist but my experience is that it does not help to try to force things and once you become ready, things happen more or less naturally by themselves. It's of course frustrating but your dissociation tells you that you cannot force it.

Anyway, regardless what you talk about in session, you are probably in one way or the other focusing on your actual issues anyway.

[DP_2017]

I have this problem too. I bring notes every time with things to talk about. I wait until just before I go to read it over and highlight what feels most pressing then. We go from there, go over the list each time. That could help. It's ok to change a long the way too

Oh, I can talk a whole session about the unremarkable weather!! And have!! Very patient T. Although he has admitted to bring frustrated with me! I'm very adept at avoidance too! Learned to prepare for a session. I started by just writing down a concern each day. Then before a session reviewing looking for a pattern, an issue, a continuing concern, a question. It worked best for me to actually write a sentence or two about what I think should be discussed & what I want to say about each. Time's limited so started with 3 points & prioritise. Sometimes we don't get passed the first. Tell T the 3 things wanted/needed to talk about, he notes & then we start. Keeps us both on track.

[zoiecat]

My therapist won't let me go on about current issues for more than like 10 minutes if it goes on any longer I have to talk about how it makes me feel using feeling words and then we have to start doing reframes or something to fix that supposed problem.

Either that or we need to do EMDR about my past traumas. He is very kind but very Stern and strict as far as keeping sessions moving in a way that will help me get better in the long term. It is made me mad before and we've had many discussions but he still doesn't change his ways.

Although I don't like it I guess it's for my own good in the end so that I can start getting better and not just vent about what's bothering me that particular day.