[justbreathe1994]

First off, I am currently seeing two therapists. Ex T (and pretty much everyone else) recommended I see a DBT therapist, so I managed to find one and I also just started her weekly skills group as well. I also wanted to continue working on attachment trauma and I’m not sure if a DBT skills-based therapist is enough for that. Ideally, I would have liked to see a DBT therapist while also dealing with an overly attached relationship at the same time so that I can apply the skills to the relationship. Since ex T left though, I am not incredibly triggered or spiraly usually like I was when I was still seeing her. I’m just pretty depressed.

Tomorrow I see the T who is not DBT, but specializes in attachment issues and trauma. I sort of want to tell her what happened with my last two Ts in detail, however, I also don’t want to scare her away. I have seen her two times thus far I think and she knows a little bit but does not know my about specific behaviors and actions. I also am thinking about telling her that I’m also seeing a DBT therapist but I don’t want her to feel like she can’t or doesn’t need to work with me. Should I share all this stuff in the same session? I’m worried she might say/think I should just see the DBT therapist instead and not work with two Ts at the same time.

[SalingerEsme]

You have a right to privacy and adult decisions. I wouldn't tell her all the so soon.

[ScarletPimpernel]

If I was giving someone else advice, I would refrain from telling a new T about ex-T and having a second T. One, I think you should develop a rapport before telling her about ex-T. Second, most Ts do not allow a client to see multiple Ts at the same time (unless it's group or marriage counseling).

However, if it was me, I'd be itching to tell my T the truth. I personally feel that leaving out information and "white lies" are still lies. And I have a hard time lying. I've gotten advice in the past to just let something be, but I always wound up telling T.

So really it's up to you. How badly do you need this T? What are your views on lying? I'd do some thinking before making a decision.

[LonesomeTonight]

I would hold off on mentioning the DBT T until you've figured out if you want to try sticking with one or the other or both. You likely need more time to figure out if either is the right fit for you. I'd also hold off on giving all the details of what happened with your former T right now until you've built more of a relationship with this T. With my current T, in our third session, I gave all kinds of details of stuff that happened with my now-former marriage counselor (I was still seeing him at the time I told T). And then I got totally freaked out that then-new T wouldn't want to work with me because I'd been so attached to ex-MC. (He turned out to be fine with it, and we're still working together over a year later.) But I think if I had been more gradual in sharing, I could have avoided some of that intense fear.

Another consideration: It also seemed at first that current T sort of tended to side a bit more with ex-MC, or at least see his point of view more, but then the more we worked together, it seemed to shift, and he's now fully accepting of my account of things (and has been critical of ex-MC). I think he just needed time to get to know me first. So the risk in telling your new T now before she's gotten to know you, is that her instinct may be to kind of side with a fellow T, or to doubt you're giving a fully accurate description of what happened (even though ideally she should believe you and not take sides, that may not be reality). If you give her more time to get to know you, to discuss your attachment issues more generally, etc., before giving her the details about why you had to leave ex-T, I think that would work out better for you. (Of course, I also completely understand the urge to share everything early on...)

[Echos Myron redux]

I tend to disagree with most of the posters so far that it's necessarily better to hold off. You say this therapist specialises in attachment and trauma so if anyone will understand this stuff it is likely to be her. It seems like your grief for your former therapist and the way it happened is likely to be a major part of what you're bringing to therapy so I'm not sure concealing it will be useful. It does depend though whether you are comfortable disclosing and feel able to manage in the (very unlikely) event that she decides to refer you in light of it.

In terms of DBT T, you might just generally ask about her policy of clients seeing more than one T and gauge it on what she says.

[Taylor27]

It's up to you if you want to let this t know what happened. I would see how tomorrow goes and if you feel comfortable telling the therapist about what ex-t did to you. I believe in being honest however you do not have to share everything with the therapist. Only you can decide what you want to share. Some DBT therapist have a policy in place about seeing two therapist, i would not think it would a big deal since you want to work on attachment trauma. I use to see 2 therapist. I see only one now. It worked out great for me because I went to one for alcohol addiction and my pyschologist who i still see for trauma. Hugs. I hope your session goes well hugs

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( hugs ))))))))

[SlumberKitty]

I like the idea of asking what the policy is about seeing two T's at once, with different modalities. Some T's are okay with it, but I know my former T would not have been okay with it. She was very clear on that point. As for telling all about what happened with the last Ts that's a bit harder to gauge. I think I would share a few things and not necessarily spill my guts so to speak and see how it goes and what the response is. Then I would use that information to decide whether or not to tell more now or wait until later when the T knew me better. (((hugs))) I hope it goes well whatever you decide. Kit.

[Rive1976]

I used to see a therapist that told me she would drop me if I saw a hypnotist. I didn't think that was her decision to make so I just kept listen about it. I personally don't see anything wrong with seeing two types of therapists for different reasons. All therapists have there specialities so seeing one for one thing and one for another seems logical to me. I would wait to tell her though.