[Lrad123]

I know many people struggle to maintain eye contact with their T, but I like to look. Sometimes I force myself not to because I’m an adult and I’m aware that maybe I shouldn’t. But I really like it. Once in a while he will look longer than I think may be appropriate and I feel embarrassed and look away, but I still like it. It’s not romantic in the least. Just feels like some weird nonverbal communication that I don’t understand at all. All I can say is that eye contact is powerful. Anyone else experience this?

[DP_2017]

I've always looked at him in the eyes.... it's just part of the way I grew up. I do it with everyone, even cashiers at the store. Looking away from someone feels weird to me... but ya It can be powerful for sure

[Lrad123]

I also look at cashiers, etc in the eye with no problems, but this feels different. I think it might have to do with “being seen” in a way that I’m not used to. Or the potential of being seen.

[winterblues17]

Yes sometimes eye contact can feel so powerful, where you look a little longer and intensly than normal, it almost creates extra connection

I always looked at them, mostly in the eyes. I do the same with other people as well when I talk to them. My 2nd T was also quite an eye candy so it was extra fun As far as I could tell, the Ts looked at me, too. Much like in any normal conversation where people pay attention to each-other. Sometimes I look away when I startto ramble too much and get lost in my thoughts.

[Echos Myron redux]

T and I often sit in silence making eye contact. He said the way I gaze seems to indicate something preverbal, probably very young infant experiences, are being triggered. That it is similar to the gaze between an infant and their caregiver.

I love looking into his eyes. Sometimes it feels too intense and I have to look away, but it's among the most profound and beautiful moments of therapy for me.

[Rive1976]

I hardly ever make eye contact because what we are talking about is unsettling.

[Lrad123]

Originally Posted by Echos Myron redux

T and I often sit in silence making eye contact. He said the way I gaze seems to indicate something preverbal, probably very young infant experiences, are being triggered. That it is similar to the gaze between an infant and their caregiver.

I love looking into his eyes. Sometimes it feels too intense and I have to look away, but it's among the most profound and beautiful moments of therapy for me.

I sometimes feel this way too, but I’ve never heard it described as preverbal. I think it’s beautiful and powerful but also a bit embarrassing for me. I’m a grown up after all with kids of my own.

[Lrad123]

Originally Posted by winterblues17

Yes sometimes eye contact can feel so powerful, where you look a little longer and intensly than normal, it almost creates extra connection

Exactly. It can feel intense for such a a subtle interaction.

[Echos Myron redux]

Originally Posted by Lrad123

I sometimes feel this way too, but I’ve never heard it described as preverbal. I think it’s beautiful and powerful but also a bit embarrassing for me. I’m a grown up after all with kids of my own.

I am too, but I still have some young needs. I think we all do to some extent, especially if all our needs weren't met in childhood. It's okay to get those needs met (appropriately of course) in therapy.

[Salmon77]

I used to sit facing my T and avoid eye contact, but recently we switched to the couch set up, so we're not facing each other and I stare at the wall. I like it much better.

[GeekyOne]

I'm not good at eye contact. The intensity of it is too much... and the shame of what I'm saying... I spend a lot of time looking at her shoes or the feet of the table next to her chair.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

I have issues looking at my T. 99% of the time I don't look at him for one second for the first 50 minutes or so. Not even when we say hi at the start of the session. I don't mind looking at people in public or when I talk to someone, it's only with my T. When I do manage though, it's always a good experience.

[piggy momma]

I look at the floor a lot. Especially as I’m starting a sentence. I’d say I spend about 50% of my session looking at him. I look at him when he talks to me so he knows I’m paying attention, but I look away when I’m talking to him.

[Seelenna1982]

I quite like to look, but do not like to be ‘looked at’. Unfortunately my T likes to hold a really strong almost staring connect and I get very uncomfortable. So I try my best to keep eye contact, I just need frequent breaks. I wonder if she knows that her gaze burns holes in my brain?