[Eleny]

Maybe I'm biased because the two best Ts I've seen were middle aged, but I sometimes feel I'd rather avoid younger Ts because I feel they won't be experienced/mature enough. It's probably silly but I wondered what others think about this?

I'm trying to find a T for myself at the moment and found a T I really liked the look of in terms of age and experience, unfortunately she can't accommodate my work schedule so has referred me onto a younger T (when I say younger, I mean 30s) but I am just a little iffy as I always felt only someone with extensive experience can really understand my issues.

Is this just silly/biased thinking?

[ArtleyWilkins]

I wouldn't want to see a young therapist much younger than me, particularly at this stage of my life, because honestly, they haven't lived through much of what my life is about: parenting adult children, aging parents and all that entails, long marriage with all its ups and downs over decades, getting ready for retirement, etc. I also have your same bias: all of my therapists have been middle aged, and that that worked very well for me. I don't particularly care if others agree with me or not, but I know there is a definite "generation gap" just in talking to people I work with who are quite a bit younger: the point of view on general issues and perspective on those issues are simply not the same. I'm old and jaded (LOL) and need someone who relates to that.

[Argonautomobile]

I'm in my late 20's. I would not see a T younger than me. 30's is fine.

[stopdog]

I would not hire a therapist who is younger than I am.

[CharlieStarDust]

I wouldn’t see someone younger. My preference is someone a few years older than me. For me it’s a matter of pride - here I am looking for someone younger to help me get my life together. That would leave me with a bruised ego.

Depends on the Sch of therapy.
Transference happens regardless of age.

[healinginprogress]

Depends on how young. Fresh out of school? Nah, I'm too messed up for that inexperience. With a few years of specific training with my issues. I'd probably be ok with that.

[Rive1976]

I dont see younger Ts. I usually like Ts that are 20 years older than me. I think they have more professional experience and life experience.

[lucozader]

My new T is the same age as me - 32. It's okay. Actually it doesn't seem to make much of a difference to anything. I've had Ts of a range of ages now and it doesn't seem to have had any bearing on their effectiveness.

I don't make assumptions about people's life experiences or ability to empathise based on their age. I don't think a more experienced T is necessarily better - I think some who have been doing it a long time are jaded or complacent about their work, whereas some who are new to the profession are full of fresh knowledge and enthusiasm and passion.

I also don't need a therapist to have had the same life experiences as me. I don't believe that having had the same experiences as someone makes it easier to empathise - in fact I think that often it can be a barrier to empathy instead.

I am 44 and would not see a T who is younger, actually prefer if they are at least 10 years older. I generally believe that both professional and life experience makes a different in most things and therapy is very much about talking about experiences.

[nottrustin]

I prefer an older T. T was 22 years older than me. I liked that she had experienced and moved past some of my issues like parenting and loss of a parent.

I looked for an older T read searching for EMDR T. Couldn't find anybody I was interested in and current EMDR T was highly recommended. I am 46 and she is 41...I have been married 24 years and with 3 kids ages 17 and older. She has been married 6 years (first marriage) and has a 3 year old. It is working well but she admits that while she has book knowledge on some of my issues (not major issues) she does not have 1st hand knowledge. She knows that there can be a difference between the 2.

[*Laurie*]

Nope. I've seen younger t's and it was a waste of time. They treated me like my daughter treats me. Like they know everything, have an immense amount of life experience, and cannot understand why I have the normal life issues of a 55 year old woman. And if it's a t with parental issues - look out, if your old enough to be his/her mother or father.

I saw a therapist who was quite a bit younger than me (she was in her 20’s) for about a month. I just couldnt listen to her. you could tell that all she knew was from textbook. the kid had no life experience or wisdom yet. a month was as long as i could take it.

Age discrimination is rampant in my field and others that I am aware of, where generally 10 years of experience-but no more-is, sadly, preferred. I wouldn't hire someone with less than 10 years of experience as a therapist because learning comes with experience; this relates to wisdom, judgment and decision making.

Therapists are in one of the few professions where being older (more experienced) is often associated with being better/wiser.

[LonesomeTonight]

My T is only 7 years older than me (I'm 41), and I actually think I prefer that to my ex-t, who was my mom's age (about 27 years older than me). I think it's helped with some of the maternal/paternal transference stuff. And it also helps in a way that we have some of the same sort of generational references, if that makes sense. I'd definitely consider a younger T in the future (as in, younger than me).

For medical doctors and p-docs, I actually kind of prefer younger ones. They tend to seem more thorough and up on the current research. My previous p-doc was my age (though relatively new to the field) and I appreciated her doing things like looking up med dosages on her iPhone. When she left the practice, I tried an older (like 70s) p-doc recommended by ex-T and he actually prided himself on not having a computer or having an internet connection in his office. That was enough for me...I'm not sure of the age of the one I see now--maybe late 40s? But she's pretty tech savvy and up on current meds. (Of course, I'm sure many older p-docs and doctors can be up on current technology and research!) Primary care docs and Gyns who are younger, in my experience, seem less jaded and more open to really listening to me, though maybe that's not typical, not sure.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by lucozader

I also don't need a therapist to have had the same life experiences as me. I don't believe that having had the same experiences as someone makes it easier to empathise - in fact I think that often it can be a barrier to empathy instead.

My T actually commented on this recently, how a T with similar experiences may have more difficulty empathizing. Because, for example, maybe they're thinking of it through their own lens of the experience, rather than the client's. Or it could be a thing, which I think happened with ex-MC, where they dealt with a particular thing--in his case, anxiety--so then why can't I deal with it? Or deal with it in the same ways he did? T compared it to a former addict thinking that a current addict needs to follow the exact same treatment plan that worked for them, when really, it's individual to everyone. (He said it can be a big issue in drug treatment centers, which are often staffed by former addicts.)

[DP_2017]

I personally don't mind, if they seem knowledgable and willing to learn as they go if need be.... (like really work with clients who may have stuff they are not as familiar with) then cool

If I was ever open to another T, which I'm not, I'd go younger, no problem

[LabRat27]

I'm fairly young, so anyone my age would still be in training. I know I need someone with a lot of experience. I tend to evoke a lot of countertransference issues and the biggest thing with that has been being able to trust that my T has enough experience to handle that.
I've had therapists who've been in practice for many decades not been able to monitor and handle their own countertransference and that's done a lot of damage. I'm certainly not going to trust a new therapist to be able to handle it.
But I also want a therapist to be familiar with more recent research and perspectives. I wouldn't want to see a therapist whose view of psychology hasn't changed since before I was born.

I've had 2 Ts in their 70s who read journals weekly keeping up with latest research, speak and attend conferences, actively train and mentor, and active in their professional communities. Both use email and one used other technologies in a useful way.

I often hear bias and sterotypes that older professionals do not do these things or "keep up with the latest". Those are myths. Laziness or professional apathy etc. come in all ages.

[velcro003]

i err on the side of T;s older than me. my current T is 7 years older than me, and it works. I will say that the art T i had in IP i think was younger than me, but i got super attached really quick.

[TheSeaCat]

I have seen young therapists and one middle aged therapist. I have to say the two younger therapist really get me. My first therapist was in her thirties and she was wonderful with knowing my issues and helping me get through a big chunk of them.

The next therapist I saw was probably in her fifties and she dismissed my issues stating she couldn't help me that I was too smart for therapy, that she believed that in three sessions she could fix anyone. I only saw her for one session; I didn't like her at all.

The therapist I am seeing now is 27 and is honestly a few years older than I am. I feel it's easy to relate to him given our similar age range. He has suffered through issues similar to mine. He has diagnosed me with things I initially questioned but after talking through them I see that he is right. He seems to always know what to say and is massively supportive.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by octoberful

I've had 2 Ts in their 70s who read journals weekly keeping up with latest research, speak and attend conferences, actively train and mentor, and active in their professional communities. Both use email and one used other technologies in a useful way.

I often hear bias and sterotypes that older professionals do not do these things or "keep up with the latest". Those are myths. Laziness or professional apathy etc. come in all ages.

True, ex-T used email even though she was 70. And she attended conferences, etc. (she had to for continuing ed for her LCSW license, but I think she would have anyway). I agree that laziness or professional apathy can come at any age--there are ways to get continuing ed credits without really learning much.

[piggy momma]

I like my Ts to be older and have lots and lots of experience. My current T is 61 (I’m 44). My last T is (now) 71. One of my profs is a psychologist and she’s only 29 and been a psych for two years. She’s an amazing prof but I don’t think she’d have enough experience for me.

[annielovesbacon]

The only T's I've ever had were both 10 years older than me -- I'm in my early 20s. I like that my therapist is young because we get along quite well and can talk about pop culture/topical things and it makes me more willing to open up to her. I also have had trouble with maternal transference in the past so it's good that she is not much older than me.

[Merope]

I’m in my early 20s and my T is in his late 40s. I appreciate the fact that he is older and has a lot of experience. There’s also the issue of paternal transference which is definitely helped by his age. I don’t think I would see a younger therapist (someone in their late 20s or early 30s). Nothing to do with lack of knowledge or anything like that—I’m sure many young Ts are as knowledgeable as older Ts. But I think I’d end up comparing myself to them and feeling inadequate. I’m less likely to hide things from an older T who is a parental figure.