Wondering if its worth mentioning to T

Now, my alarm goes nuclear.

If the memory reflects the real event, then you were sexually abused as a child. I would absolutely talk about it with your T, AND I would withdraw my consent for her to talk to my mother. You are an adult now and your therapy should be your sacred, well protected personal space. In your situation especially no one should be allowed there. Again, if the memory reflects the real abuse, then it means you have never been allowed to have your own protected personal space (and it certainly looks like it from what you've described in other threads), so it is time to claim one and to defend it.

I'd tell the T about the memory and about your father's current behavior and I would pay great attention to her reaction. A therapist with any basic level of ethics and wisdom in this situation would stop all communications with your mother and would work with you on helping you separate from the harmful family dynamics you are in right now. That'd be my litmus test for whether I should continue to see the T. Also, a T in this situation should assess if your father has access to children, and, if he does, the T should report his behavior to the appropriate authorities immediately. This is another test to see if your T is appropriate for you to continue to work with.

I am not telling you what to do. You obviously can and will make your own choice, but I am not going to pretend that I don't have a strong opinion about cases like yours. I certainly do and I never hide it. In cases like that, a strong opinion indicates a moral stand. There is no "gray area" for me here. This, to me, is as black and white as it can get.

In general, anything that happens to be bothering you is worth talking over with your T, even if it seems like it might not be a big deal.

Your father's behavior sounds very strange. If you don't want him to continue it, you will need to find a way to tell him to stop. Your T might be able to help you learn to assert yourself if you want.

I dont understand how I was sexually abused when I am the one that did it. He probably told me to stop idk but he wasnt overly concerned about it. Still no word from T. She usually emails me around 11:30 at night.

I dont understand how I was sexually abused when I am the one that did it. He probably told me to stop idk but he wasnt overly concerned about it. Still no word from T. She usually emails me around 11:30 at night.

I dont understand how I was sexually abused when I am the one that did it. He probably told me to stop idk but he wasnt overly concerned about it. Still no word from T. She usually emails me around 11:30 at night.

Yeah I want it to stop but I dont want to lose him.

I said he probably told me to stop.

Yeah I want it to stop but I dont want to lose him. That might sound bad to you guys but he is really all I have. My mom, brother and sister dont hardly speak to me. Basically if I go 4 days without texting them they will make sure I havent committed s**cide but thats about it.

I also have to say this. I am very concerned about the fact that your T can freely talk to your mother about anything behind your back. In your situation, this makes therapy very unsafe. If you tell your T what you told here and then she tells your mother about it, this may complicate your situation further, especially given that you and your mother don't have a good relationship.

I seriously recommend you to revoke your consent for your T to talk to your mother before you talk to her again. I would email the T and ask her to give me the form that revokes the previous authorization to talk to the mother, and, if she doesn't have that form, I'd simply say in the email that I withdraw my authorization and that I no longer want her to talk to the mother. This should be enough for her to stop all communications with your mother. You just need some form of documentation to show that you requested it.

I also wonder if your mother knows about your father's current behavior toward you like inappropriate touches and things of that sort. And, if she does, what is her reaction? What is she doing about it?

Dnester, are you talking about your biological father?

I am really curious about all of this. You have been writing for months about the possibility of your mother sexually abusing you, and now just the other day your father tells you he took a picture of you with your legs spread apart. Why do you think he is suddenly behaving in this way? This seems really out of the blue.

Are you saying I am lying? I dont know why he is acting this way. I am not sure its that serious. Me being sexually abused by my mother was a theory my T came up with not me.

I'm curious as to why your T thought that it was your mother who had been sexually abusing you. What you mention about your father doing now and the memory about the nipples (which, as others said, is abuse, even if it was you doing that--your father should have just said "no" and not allowed it). It makes me wonder if, assuming some sort of abuse took place, it could have actually been your father? I think you had talked about a fixation on maternal figures, right? If that's the case, maybe it's because your mother wasn't protecting you from it? I think you should definitely bring all this up with your T.