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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2014
Location: US
Posts: 2,202
10 121 hugs
given |
#741
Dear t
I think I have to cancel my next appointment . I'm waiting u til Monday to decide /text as I dont want it to be a gut reaction. Something isnt sitting right and I need to figure out what it is. |
atisketatasket, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 2,170
6 1,836 hugs
given |
#742
Don't not reply. That really wouldn't be good.
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atisketatasket, LabRat27, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Member
Member Since May 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 303
6 |
#743
Should have cancelled.
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atisketatasket, ElectricManatee, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Roses are falling.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,922
(SuperPoster!)
7 10.4k hugs
given |
#744
Well I lasted 18 days before I emailed R:
Quote:
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Anastasia~, atisketatasket, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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...............
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: in my head
Posts: 2,913
18 8,780 hugs
given |
#745
You have stated several times that you do not want your T to give attention towards your SH because you feel it will only reinforce the behavior. I have been wondering if you have historical data to support that hypothesis or is it a gut feeling? I ask because there are things I want but tell my T not to do or give me because I feel it would be bad, confusing, or reinforce behavior that I think is bad. Within myself, I'm wondering if I am withholding from myself something that would show caring simply because I don't want to have to "deal" with someone caring about me (there's so much more to that, trying to keep it simple here). Do you think anything like that is in play for you, like if he somehow acknowledges how significant your SH is while not judging you or your action of SH... then maybe you'll have to accept that in terms of SH, your quantity/quality is significant, the act itself is not "bad" and the act does not define you as being "bad". Therefore, challenging your internal beliefs about yourself?
ok, not sure if I'm making sense here. |
atisketatasket, LabRat27, WarmFuzzySocks
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Anne2.0, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 2,170
6 1,836 hugs
given |
#746
Well thanks for the reply, but I don't feel better. I don't know what I want from you. Maybe therapy is just becoming cyclical.
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Elio, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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...............
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: in my head
Posts: 2,913
18 8,780 hugs
given |
#747
Have you noticed any changes with each cycle? I think therapy might be somewhat cyclical (or spiral) with different thing emerging or feeling different each time around. Or at least that is how it feels for those topics that are cyclical for me. Each time around something different comes out of it, like I'm able to talk more directly about it or it doesn't hurt as much.
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Anastasia~, Echos Myron redux, LonesomeTonight
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
6 117.7k hugs
given |
#748
Please please please please please respond to me rather quickly. Thanks. Kit
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Anastasia~, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, precaryous
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,734
7 542 hugs
given |
#749
I love you I love you I love you I love you
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Grand Member
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 950
7 962 hugs
given |
#750
T!!!!!!
I just got a job offer. Totally unexpected because I thought there was going to be a second round of interviews. Also, it's not my ideal location, but the move might be good for me. But I'm not sure if I want to leave my current job for that job. Also, I have my second interview at a more desirable location next Monday. When I got the offer, I panicked and told him I would get back to him on Monday. GAH! I don't know what I was thinking. My other interview is on Monday, and there's no way I can let them know by Monday. I don't know if I want to move. I'll have to leave all my friends. What if I can't make new friends at the new location, and it's so far from civilization. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, T! I need to talk to you. I need you. I can't make big life decisions on my own. Help me? |
Anastasia~, Elio, LonesomeTonight, nottrustin, SlumberKitty
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LonesomeTonight
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 2,170
6 1,836 hugs
given |
#751
Quote:
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LonesomeTonight
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...............
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: in my head
Posts: 2,913
18 8,780 hugs
given |
#752
Quote:
I'm sorry that this is hard for you (and for all of us that it is hard for). It sucks, no doubt about it. |
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circlesincircles, Echos Myron redux, LonesomeTonight
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2008
Posts: 7,361
15 25 hugs
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#753
hey t: sorry for the email, but just feel gross.
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atisketatasket, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2008
Posts: 7,361
15 25 hugs
given |
#754
oh t: your replies sometimes are perfect. thank you. see you tuesday.
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Anastasia~, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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circlesincircles, LonesomeTonight
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 1,009
6 2,354 hugs
given |
#755
I wrote it all out
I still couldn't bring myself to write out any specifics as they relate to you But hopefully this will finally make you understand that it's not ****ing romantic or sexual and why I'm so adamant that it's not that at all It's that I want you to care and react the way you would if I was a seven or ten year old child. I want to evoke paternal protective and nurturing instincts. That's the longing that feels so deeply shameful and disgusting and repulsive Obviously I'm not reading this one out loud. I'll be curled up in my usual ball of shame while you read it. 67 hours. |
Anastasia~, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 1,009
6 2,354 hugs
given |
#756
Possible trigger:
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Anastasia~, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 2,170
6 1,836 hugs
given |
#757
I don't want to reply to you because I don't want to tell you I am questioning the point of therapy at the moment. I suspect this is indicative of some relevant issue we can work on but it's an uncomfortable spot to be in in the meantime.
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Anastasia~, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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circlesincircles
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Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
Posts: 19,304
(SuperPoster!)
12 8,152 hugs
given |
#758
Hey there mr. Dr. Therapy man
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,414
7 665 hugs
given |
#759
Today is not good. I can't stop obsessing about the people you have replaced me with. How you said in that one email that brought me to tears, that I was not replaceable. I stupidly believed it, of course I am. You proved that.
I really wish we could talk. I have so much to update you on and I'm dying to know how your life is. I wish someone had told me before I started therapy, that in the end, I'd feel like a worthless loser because I am treated like a child and not "allowed" to talk to someone. So ridiculous. Sucks your anxiety and lack in trust in me were so high. I thought I meant more to you to than that, but you fooled me __________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
Anne2.0, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#760
I'm sure your explanation will be a doozy. Too bad it's more than just one issue. You brought this all on yourself with your selfish games. The superficial way you treat everyone. Life is not one big joke as you seem to believe. Maybe someday it will hit home with you but I guess not today.
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