[Rive1976]

My T is not answering as many emails. I am doing trauma work and my emotions are all over the place. Cutting etc. This stinks!

[Seelenna1982]

I am sorry to hear you are struggling. Trauma work can be excruciating and so intense emotionally. I used to cut badly as a child but haven’t as an adult, I began trauma work, and although I haven’t cut, this old part of me started screaming inside making me want to do it.
How often do you see your T? Do you have an option to take an extra session here and there to discuss those in between feelings? The only healthy-ish coping skill I have right now is to stay ridiculously busy. That in itself is exhausting but it works a little.

[Rive1976]

She responded. She said maybe I need my meds increased because I cut. wtf! I am so tired of people thinking I need meds.

[Ididitmyway]

Do you do anything else that can help you cope other than cutting? I think, you need to have someone to talk to in between sessions to help you self-regulate. Tell your therapist that you need her to suggest other ways to cope besides drugs. Ask if she could provide additional resources such as crises lines you can use.

[peacelizard]

Originally Posted by Dnester

She responded. She said maybe I need my meds increased because I cut. wtf! I am so tired of people thinking I need meds.

They may be beneficial; they may not be. But until you get enough therapy under your belt, it kinda sounds you don't have much else to combat those urges or intrusive thoughts of self harm.

Besides, I don't know what your prescriber is like, but if they're at good, they might just be able to add a PRN or if he/she feels like they need to increase the doses of your standing meds, nothing says they won't ever be tapered back down eventually

[Rive1976]

I dont want to take the drugs I have so I definately dont want to add anymore.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

Do you do anything else that can help you cope other than cutting? I think, you need to have someone to talk to in between sessions to help you self-regulate. Tell your therapist that you need her to suggest other ways to cope besides drugs. Ask if she could provide additional resources such as crises lines you can use.

Shes already given me lots of strategies but when bad memories come nothing dulls it like self harm.

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by Dnester

Shes already given me lots of strategies but when bad memories come nothing dulls it like self harm.

Would it help you if you could talk to someone between sessions?

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by Dnester

Shes already given me lots of strategies but when bad memories come nothing dulls it like self harm.

Have you tried very strenuous exercises, the ones that completely exhaust you? Many people cope with their traumatic symptoms this way. When you physically exert yourself, there is no energy left for mental suffering.

[Rive1976]

Yeah probably but I dont really have that. I mean she is getting less responsive with emails. I cant talk to my mental health skill builders because they will tell the owner where I live and she will send me to the hospital. Then if it gets back to my ex he wont let me speak to my child. Then if I tell my psych doc he will put me on more meds which wont help flashbacks which is why I have been cutting. If I call a crisis line I fear report and it will be weird because they dont know me. I mean coming here helps some but usually when I post in self harm I just post then go self harm.

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by Dnester

Yeah probably but I dont really have that. I mean she is getting less responsive with emails. I cant talk to my mental health skill builders because they will tell the owner where I live and she will send me to the hospital. Then if it gets back to my ex he wont let me speak to my child. Then if I tell my psych doc he will put me on more meds which wont help flashbacks which is why I have been cutting. If I call a crisis line I fear report and it will be weird because they dont know me. I mean coming here helps some but usually when I post in self harm I just post then go self harm.

Try strenuous exercises. They take a lot of energy so not much is left for panic and impulsive behavior.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

I started having flashbacks a bit into discussing my trauma in therapy. I still have them. It used to be that almost the only thing I could do to stop the emotional distress was to self harm. Nowadays I can manage mostly by just grounding myself, deep breathing, distraction. I agree with Ididitmyway, exercise can help a lot too.

I know this doesn't make your problems go away in the moment, but there is hope that you will learn to manage these things without meds and without self harm. If you don't want to increase your meds, then tell your T that when she next brings it up, you don't need to do anything you don't want to.

[sarahsweets]

Originally Posted by Dnester

Yeah probably but I dont really have that. I mean she is getting less responsive with emails. I cant talk to my mental health skill builders because they will tell the owner where I live and she will send me to the hospital. Then if it gets back to my ex he wont let me speak to my child. Then if I tell my psych doc he will put me on more meds which wont help flashbacks which is why I have been cutting. If I call a crisis line I fear report and it will be weird because they dont know me. I mean coming here helps some but usually when I post in self harm I just post then go self harm.

Well maybe you need IOP or PHP? I do not understand the skill workers. Why do they talk to the owner of your home? Arent they supposed to be your support system? And how would it get back to your ex? And how do you know you do not need more meds?
I am asking these questions because you sound like you have all the answers and it seems like your solution is a barrage of emails with your therapist. Your therapist is not on call for you. They need to uphold some kind of boundaries.

[peacelizard]

Originally Posted by Dnester

I dont want to take the drugs I have so I definately dont want to add anymore.

I get that, but then what's the solution to get you not to self harm?

[SlumberKitty]

The medication/no medication thing is a big deal for a lot of people. Personally medication has saved my life and something I was put on about a year and a half ago, maybe two years ago, has actually given me a fighting chance with the SH but it does add other troubles like feeling numb. If you don't want medication or more medication, can you possibly see your T for an additional session per week? It sounds like you might be going too fast or getting too deep into stuff and getting triggered then trying to deal with it by yourself and it's too much. Or maybe talk to your T about slowing down the work. Just a thought. My best to you. Kit.

[Anne2.0]

Can you call the T when you're in crisis? IMO emails are not a good substitute for the connection and talk-down that a phone call allows for.

I would definitely find alternative sources of support if you need it between therapy sessions. It is not truly realistic (or even fair) to expect the T to be available and respond to emails on a constant demand if we pay them for sessions weekly or so. I would maybe look into free peer support groups for whatever concern you have - participating in those can also be good because they don't usually have a strict structure, one can reach out to others whenever, and there can be multiple people to talk to or even meet up with.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

Well maybe you need IOP or PHP? I do not understand the skill workers. Why do they talk to the owner of your home? Arent they supposed to be your support system? And how would it get back to your ex? And how do you know you do not need more meds?
I am asking these questions because you sound like you have all the answers and it seems like your solution is a barrage of emails with your therapist. Your therapist is not on call for you. They need to uphold some kind of boundaries.

Whats an IOP or PHP? Meds are not going to solve feelings associated with flashbacks.

[Rive1976]

I cant get more sessions because she only works 2 and 1/2 days a week. I dont want to call her since I cut pretty often. Besides when I told her I wanted to cut again last night all she said was maybe you need more meds.

[Rive1976]

As far as my mental health skill builders go they have to report back to the owner of the group home any unhealthy behaviors. There is also one of them thst talks to my ex to show progress so I can talk to my daughter.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by Dnester

Whats an IOP or PHP? Meds are not going to solve feelings associated with flashbacks.

Intensive Outpatient Program/partial hospitalization program. Basically something where you aren't inpatient, but go for some portion of the day for therapy-related stuff 4 or 5 days a week--some individual, some group, not sure about the rest of it. (I haven't personally been, but a previous p-doc tried to push it on me as she thought I needed a higher level of care due to SHing.) someone else could likely give more info.