[darkside8]

I'm not used to expressing my thoughts and feelings - it makes me very uncomfortable. I've not done it before, nor have I, growing up, seen many people around me do it. But I understand how important it is for my T to understand how I'm really feeling in order for us to move forward. I'm thinking of writing down what it is that I am really struggling with at the moment and then asking her to have a read during our next session. That itself does make me feel a little uncomfortable as I want to feel confident enough to share it all through words, but the sad reality is that if I do try to speak about it, I'll keep it too short and simple.

Anyone ever wrote things down for your T to read? How has that experience been like? Did it in any way make it easier to eventually begin to feel more comfortable expressing yourself verbally?

[winterblues17]

Yes I opted to write a lot down and give it to her between sessions, because when I tried to say things and expeess how I feeling it almost fell flat. I would minimise and not actually say how bad certain things were making me feel.
Writing down really allowed me to express true feelings, and also knowing that T read it and understood, made me feel heard. It also helped me open up to certain topics that I was then able to talk about in person.

[Lemoncake]

I've emailed him a lot and it really does help me, because I don't have to see his reaction. I also sometimes write if I want an acknowledgement or not.

[piggy momma]

I journal but also email my T a LOT (like daily) with things I want to talk about but am too uncomfortable to bring up. I am trying to force myself to bring things up and deal with the uncomfortable feelings because I think that is part of therapy, but so far I’ve been an epic failure and just keep emailing him.

[ElectricManatee]

I have written plenty of things down for my T to read in session. I actually have a separate notebook where I write things down for/to her. Sometimes it's because I know I will have be uncomfortable saying something, and sometimes it's because the thing is complicated or delicate and I want the time and space to figure out exactly how to say it. My T has been receptive and agrees to read things to herself instead of reading them aloud or asking me to read them aloud (which I would hate).

I have found that it can be a useful way to share something. I think writing first does make it easier for me to share things in conversation with her too. But I think the main thing for me is that sometimes I feel like I can express things more thoughtfully and completely in writing, so that's mostly why I do it.

[stopdog]

I think the act of writing something down and handing it to someone else is useful. More than just journaling in my opinion. Whether the therapist reads it or not, for me, was not the crucial part of the experience.

[nottrustin]

I have. T and I emailed a lot about what was happening. Usually I could tell her what I was feeling but rgwew were times I can express myself in writing better than verbally. Of it was something short I could bring it in and read it. However usually if I was at that point it was long. In that case she referred that I email them so she could print it out and read it a few times then bring it to my appointment. For her it was better if she could process it slowly. Again since this only happened when things were really bad so it made sense.

With Emdr T things are really different. A few years ago I wrote my story for a religious group I was attending. T thought it would be beneficial for me to being it for Emdr T to read as it gave a good overview of my life. Faith and showed emotion. EMDR T agreed but I should read it to her so I did. It was hard but nice. She was very supportive and compassionate. Plus it allowed us to connect a bit because she practices the same religion I do. Before that point I knew her religion but not how deep she is into it.

Only other time was when I was reall frustrated last fall and in a bad place. She doesnt do email so I printed it out and brought it on. She asked if I wanted to read it. When I told her I preferred she read and then we could discuss it. It worked well. She did ask after the first paragraph if she could respond to it or did she need to wait. I asked her to wait and then we discussed it.

[velcro003]

Yeah, i process more by writing and find it easier to write out my feelings than speaking of them. I journal in between sessions and bring it in to my T to read. She actively encourages it.

[Elio]

I write extensively to my T in my journal (including session notes about 12 single sided typed pages a week). I give her my journal at each session and she reads them between sessions. At times I've had her read stuff silently to herself during session and other times I've read things to her. She rarely brings up things from my writings as a direct topic. She will make comments/referencing something I've written from time to time that lets me know she has read them.

Most often my journal has consisted of random thoughts and stuff I want to share with her. As I stated, I write to her so it's a way to stay connected. There are other times where I share things that are embarrassing or scary. It gives me a way to approach a topic that I am not sure how she would respond; thus giving her time to determine how she wants to handle it when I do bring it up (specifically around asking her for something). I did learn early that if I think she might respond with disgust (or something), having her read it without me around and having to wait until next session to talk about it added to my anxiety.

I have just completed 3 full years of therapy with this therapist and am thinking about taking a break from the journal. Things have gotten easier to verbalize without having some level of disassociation.

As a heads up, I've seen on here where some therapists insist on reading reading it in session, reading it out loud, having a client read it out loud, or plain refuse. My T took the idea of journaling like this to her supervisor and initially left it open that we might have to address it again depending on how it helped or didn't help. She said there wasn't a lot of information on using it this way. I have also seen several people here state that they've done something similar to what I do. I think it can be a very useful tool.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by Elio

I write extensively to my T in my journal (including session notes about 12 single sided typed pages a week). I give her my journal at each session and she reads them between sessions. At times I've had her read stuff silently to herself during session and other times I've read things to her. She rarely brings up things from my writings as a direct topic. She will make comments/referencing something I've written from time to time that lets me know she has read them.

Most often my journal has consisted of random thoughts and stuff I want to share with her. As I stated, I write to her so it's a way to stay connected. There are other times where I share things that are embarrassing or scary. It gives me a way to approach a topic that I am not sure how she would respond; thus giving her time to determine how she wants to handle it when I do bring it up (specifically around asking her for something). I did learn early that if I think she might respond with disgust (or something), having her read it without me around and having to wait until next session to talk about it added to my anxiety.

I have just completed 3 full years of therapy with this therapist and am thinking about taking a break from the journal. Things have gotten easier to verbalize without having some level of disassociation.

As a heads up, I've seen on here where some therapists insist on reading reading it in session, reading it out loud, having a client read it out loud, or plain refuse. My T took the idea of journaling like this to her supervisor and initially left it open that we might have to address it again depending on how it helped or didn't help. She said there wasn't a lot of information on using it this way. I have also seen several people here state that they've done something similar to what I do. I think it can be a very useful tool.

My first T years ago urged me to keep a journal every week and give it to her at the next T appointment. She would read it between appointments. Her request was that I write something everyday about what is going. I went to her because up until that point I had buried my abuse. She was the first person I told. She also told me to just write without going. .Not to worry or edit grammar or spelling, etc. It was very helpful.

Sometimes we would discuss but bot also. Near the end of our working together I disclosed in my journal about the ongoing abuse I was living with. "We" really she decided not address it because the school was stopping funding and she didnt take my insurance

[SlumberKitty]

Yes, mostly through email with my former T. It was really helpful to me and her because there were things that I just couldn't say. I also "think" better in writing and am able to express myself better so we were able to make more progress that way. I appreciated her willingness to work with me that way. Kit

[MessyD]

I have a hard time expressing myself and usually I minimize things or just simply skip them and smile instead, so writing helps me to do that if there's something on my mind or something that's hard for me to share. I don't do it for every session but my T gets excited when I do now because usually there's lot of information about me and what's going on with me. I don't email, I actually prefer to see his reaction now and have him respond right away. He would prefer if I read it out loud but I've only done it couple times. And I tend to skip things I'm not comfortable with so I prefer he reads it himself, although he will only read it out loud which I'm ok with now as he gets to comment on things. I have to say it's been challenging for me to get out of comfort zone and share things and especially feelings (I had no idea people do that before therapy) but every time I bring my writings into session, it turns out to be great and insightful session, and he has taken everything really well so far, so at the end I feel better for sharing, even if it's something I felt ashamed about.

[LabRat27]

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

I have written plenty of things down for my T to read in session. I actually have a separate notebook where I write things down for/to her. Sometimes it's because I know I will have be uncomfortable saying something, and sometimes it's because the thing is complicated or delicate and I want the time and space to figure out exactly how to say it. My T has been receptive and agrees to read things to herself instead of reading them aloud or asking me to read them aloud (which I would hate).

I have found that it can be a useful way to share something. I think writing first does make it easier for me to share things in conversation with her too. But I think the main thing for me is that sometimes I feel like I can express things more thoughtfully and completely in writing, so that's mostly why I do it.

This pretty much sums up my reasons for it.
Sometimes I do read it out loud myself though. If I don't read it out loud my T reads it out loud. As much as it makes me uncomfortable, it's also reassuring. I hide my head and don't look at him, so his tone gives me feedback as he's reading. He usually sounds sad and kind, not disgusted like I fear.

My T likes that I do it because we're able to have conversations about topics that we wouldn't have otherwise because I can't bring myself to just say the stuff on the spot as a monologue. I use it to open up the discussion and get the most difficult stuff out there, and then we talk about it.

[sophiebunny]

Originally Posted by darkside8

I'm not used to expressing my thoughts and feelings - it makes me very uncomfortable. I've not done it before, nor have I, growing up, seen many people around me do it. But I understand how important it is for my T to understand how I'm really feeling in order for us to move forward. I'm thinking of writing down what it is that I am really struggling with at the moment and then asking her to have a read during our next session. That itself does make me feel a little uncomfortable as I want to feel confident enough to share it all through words, but the sad reality is that if I do try to speak about it, I'll keep it too short and simple.

Anyone ever wrote things down for your T to read? How has that experience been like? Did it in any way make it easier to eventually begin to feel more comfortable expressing yourself verbally?

I write for both my therapist and my psychiatrist. The written word is my best communication tool. Sometimes I'm completely nonverbal but through my pen I can communicate really important information. It's particularly helpful with my psychiatrist because I don't have as much time with him as with my therapist. He's very receptive and it has really fast forwarded my healing.

[Anne2.0]

I've written loads of things down, journal-like, sometimes 20 single spaced pages a week. For two different T's. Neither T commented on the content unless I raised it myself. I asked both T's to give the papers back each time, because I didn't want it to become part of my record.

I think it might be helpful to have a discussion with the T about what you expect they will do with the writing you give them. Just because you give it to them doesn't mean they will read it, or bring things up they think are important. If you want something different than just giving the writing to them, I think you need to say that. For me, I just wanted to share it but didn't quiz them on it or even ask if they'd read it. Sometimes I would say "like this thing I said in my journal 3 weeks ago" but I didn't assume they could remember it.

Overall, I found much more benefit from speaking in session those things difficult for me to talk about. Writing is easy, fluid, therapeutic in itself. I do think it brought things into my awareness and that was helpful, which might then encourage me to talk about them. But it was not a substitute for the talk and interaction of the therapy session itself.

I did marvel that my T's read my journals on their own time without charging for them. I don't know how much time they spent-- i hope not a lot-- but I now think that was a generous gift to me that I took for granted at the time.

There are internet therapies based solely on writings, posts or emails. That might be a better alternative for anyone who thinks that talk therapy is too difficult.