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Member
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 183
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#1
I've come across a lot of posts from people who have been terminated by their T's or had abrupt session endings. This makes me angry and afraid. It is something I have a fear of in my own therapy although my T has said they wouldn't do this. I imagine most T's do say this though and no one ever 'plans' to terminate a client abruptly yet they do. The possibility is always still there even if they say it's not. Do you have experience of being terminated by your T? What happened and how have you managed to cope/deal with the sudden ending?
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Out There
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
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#2
No, it has never happened to me.
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Out There
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
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#3
My first T when I was really young terminated me because her supervisor said she had to. I didn't really understand it, and I didn't really get it, but I don't remember being particularly traumatized by the ending or whatever. I just accepted it.
Former T and I had to stop because she got MS. It wasn't sudden/sudden, it was surprising, and it took a bit of a process but I didn't want to stop seeing her, I just had to stop seeing her. I'm still getting over it. I cry a lot, that's how I deal with it. Kit |
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Mopey, Out There, seeker33
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
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#4
My T told me time and time again he wasn't going anywhere.... after about a year, he started talking about issues in his job and wanting to leave.... but always said things like "Clients can follow me if they like" so I felt ok about it.
It came out of nowhere when he said he was quitting the career itself and that all contact had to end, at least for 2 years. So sadly, yes, it COULD happen... however try not to fixate on it, I doubt it's that common and just enjoy the time you have with them now. __________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
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LonesomeTonight, Out There
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2008
Location: Illinois, USA
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#5
I have not been suddenly terminated by a T. One decided to retire, and gave me 18 months notice. I didn't like it, but it definitely wasn't sudden.
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Magnate
Member Since May 2017
Location: Earth
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#6
No, I have never been abruptly terminated. I left two previous longer-term therapists because I graduated and moved away. I had some shorter-term therapists who ended things when they finished their internships (which I knew about from the beginning). I ended with my current therapist once before when we agreed I was finished, and now I'm back with her for Phase 2.
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Out There
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: England
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#7
I've just been terminated by my T's boss ( who didn't even know me ). It sucks , it was reportable on ethics and conduct and would have been by another provider had it been under another jurisdiction. So I guess I can see it wasn't my fault , and to learn and grow from. But it' s not something I would wish on anyone , in my case it was somewhat vindictive. There are other scenarios of course , the T becomes unable to carry on or stops doing therapy etc. All we have is the present moment , the NOW. Can we really fear or worry about what might happen in the future. But probably we do.
__________________ "Trauma happens - so does healing " |
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
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#8
Never terminated.
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: CA
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#9
I made a thread about it at the time, including updates that explain how we went from termination to working together again. I thought I'd posted details about me telling him how badly he'd handled it and how much it had hurt me, but apparently not. He acknowledged that he ****ed up. It's been more than six months now, and it's still something that comes up periodically in our sessions and in my posts on here.
thread Just found my description of our first session back in the notes on my phone, but for some reason I can't find it in my post history? Technically in session yesterday, |
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Member Since Feb 2016
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#10
I've seen about 7 therapists during my life and I've never been terminated by them. Ending therapy was either my decision or a mutual decision. Maybe I'm just lucky. I will say that none of my therapists have ever promised to never leave me or always be there for me so I would be suspicious of anyone who said that.
__________________ "I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned." --Richard Feynman |
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Member
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: UK
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#11
Not termination, per se, but I quit therapy in August. My therapist wouldn't hug me, and as I was left feeling unlovable and unlikeable I didn't see how I could make progress with him anymore. I knew if I stayed it was out of habit and attachment and not to actually help with my problems.
Five days after I quit I decided I wanted a last session and called him to ask for one. He told me no and we no longer worked together. It made me realise I'd made the right decision. I'm glad I was helped by him, but I'm also glad I followed my instincts that this guy was way too rigid and not a good partner for dealing with the deepest stuff. But I don't see the point in returning to any therapy, really. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
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#12
I haven't been terminated in the sense that I think you are asking.
Years ago while in college I saw a T for a couple of months. Then the school stopped funding for students to see her. She didnt accept my insurance. So I had to stop seeing her. The only other termination was when T died very suddenly after an accident. So very sudden and excruciatingly painful. I am making it through one day at a time. __________________ |
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LonesomeTonight, Out There, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2012
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#13
Quote:
I have experienced this as a rejection -- which, I believe, it is. Her limitations, maybe, but ultimately, in her world, even a professional world, she has not place for me. I am not wanted. That's the reality, that's a rejection. The rejection triggered feelings that I did not know I had, that I had long buried the capacity for. 6 months after the termination I "recalled" similar feelings connected with some situations and/or people in my childhood. It put me in bed with depression for 3 days and was a very difficult month. I felt unacceptable to everybody in the whole world and still do to a certain extent, although I continue to "put myself out there", including here, and have received some contrary evidence -- that is, not been rejected. I did not go to the therapist I was referred to. I do not trust anybody in the profession at this point. I was in therapy on and off for more that 50 years. The last therapist was a specialist in trauma and dissociation and may well have diagnosed some core issues that other therapists missed. Or perhaps they were issues that developed or got exacerbated by all the tries at therapy. Nevertheless. . .for me, "therapy" had become, or always was, poison and even as bad off as I was. . . I was very fortunate and have a very good support group that I had been going to for about 2 years before the termination and that has continued to be a good place for support and what I might call social learning, which is what I need at this point more than more "therapy". I have vented a lot here on PC and that has helped me process things. Now, 2.5 years later, I can write about it in what (maybe?) seems civil and rational. But being rejected and feeling unacceptablet to the whole world is a really, really awful, unbearable situation. I also expect that experiencing that feeling and tolerating it without dissociating was something that I needed all along. But I certainly expected, and still do, something better than reenactment and abandonment as a "cure" for my kind of difficulties. But I had never found it in all those years, so . . . I still wish most days that I was not here, but I have no plans to take action. My grown kids seem to like me OK these days, and one of them wants me to move out where he and his wife and 2 young kids are. They have no other family around and think I do OK as a grandma when I am with their kids! As long as my health holds out, I might be able, therefore, to make a contribution to the lives of some people I love, so. . .I'm working on trying to clear out my house, letting go of the past. . .painful, painful, painful. But it's possible that there may be some better days ahead. Maybe not, but maybe. I still think more than 50 years on an off in therapy was far too long, far too expensive, far too iffy. . . |
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mostlylurking
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Anonymous45127, mostlylurking, Out There
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
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#14
I’ve never been terminated, per se. one got very sick and what was supposed to be a day surgery landed him in hospital for over a month. He left with a cancer diagnosis and closed his practice.
My current T will only terminate if I attempt to take my life again. Anything else is workable. I suspect he will retire one day (he’s 61) but that day is still far away. |
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Anonymous56789, SlumberKitty
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#15
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Echos Myron redux, junkDNA, Out There, SlumberKitty, ttrim
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
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#16
He doesn’t have the resources to deal with someone who is suicidal. His practice is very small - only a couple clients at a time, he mostly does marriage counselling. And it is sadly not that unusual around here for a T to turn away a potential client with a history of a suicide attempt.
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Comfy Sedation
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#17
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LonesomeTonight
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Grand Poohbah
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#18
I had co-therapists so hostile and unhinged they stopped even the pretense of the service of group therapy. But I was the one to unplug the socket.
Last edited by missbella; Jan 08, 2019 at 03:17 PM.. |
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
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#19
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junkDNA
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Magnate
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#20
Not without notice and all of them were because they were moving out of state or done with their internships. One T that I had let me know months in advance that he was moving so we worked up to it by finding a new T for me. It really sucked but I moved on. My T tha was seeing H and I for MC and also seeing me individually moved out of state without much of a warning and failed to set me up with a new T like he kept promising. That one hurt more because he told me he would be around for a while then moved in a short amount of time.
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