Couch 187: Dry Cheerios

BlessedCheeseMaker

I had some dental work done today and my tooth just wouldn't go numb. He ended up putting three injections in different areas. Now the numbness has worn off my whole jaw hurts. Partly from the dental work, partly from the injections themselves I think. Ow.

Yeah, the alerts on my phone show me that my Amazon package(s) got delivered. Two new books to read! Now, if only I had the energy and concentration to read. Focus. Focus. Focus. Kit

No, I left another message.

But that is so often the case! (Present company excepted, of course.)

For all my professor friends (or anyone really) here on PC, a friend of mine who is a prof wants me to write a book review for a small academic journal that she used to be editor of. I did it once, got published, and whatever. I don't get anything out of it, like I'm not a prof so I don't get any financial reward from my employer or anything. I don't know for sure, but I think it's a "C" journal, so not that hard to get published in. Whatever. Something to put on my resume. But I don't feel the need to do it again. Prof friend keeps bringing it up. I really don't have the emotional resources to do any sort of deep thinking right now (thanks depression) so it would be a lot of work and I just don't see the reward or payoff from it. Am I looking at this the wrong way? What is the point of getting published in an academic journal if I am not in the world of academia? Kit

I'd definitely have to be either intrinsically motivated or extrinsically rewarded. LOL! Doesn't sound like either particularly pertains to you right now. I get that.

Good way to put it. Thanks. Kit

I'm not a professor, but I just finished my Master's and have worked in some labs, all that stuff.

Honestly, there's little to having an intro in some minor journal. Maybe a future employer might look at your CV, see the citation, ask about it. But then it's already over since it was not really mostly your work.

You also don't feel up to the challenge right now with being depressed. You have the right to look after yourself and to not do things that seem exhausting to you. It's also okay to reject a friend on an offer like this. If your communication with her is okay, maybe telling her some of why you're struggling right now and can't do it might be a good idea, so she doesn't continue to ask you about it?

Thanks. I really suck at telling people no. So I said "maybe" but I know I don't feel up to it, and don't really want to put in the effort without some sort of good reason to. But if my friend keeps bringing it up like she has, I'm going to have to tell her I'm not interested right now and that's going to be tough for me. I'm not really sure how I'm going to do that. Kit

Unless you want an academic career, don’t bother.

However, your friend should know as soon as you decide—she may have to find another reviewer.

Just had the damage on my car assessed and the guy said there is chance it may be a write off. They won’t give me what I paid for it and I have the hassle of having to buy another car.

Quote from Beck Weathers - the dr guy on 1996 Everest that had had eye surgery and froze his nose and hands -

After hearing me tell my story before an audience, a very famous American astronaut once said to me, “You must have had a horseshoe right up your *** that day.”

Thanks @@! I don't have any immediate plans to go into academia. My friend keeps telling me I need to get my PhD. But I don't see the necessity. I just see big student loans if I do that. If anything, next step would be to get my CPA license. I have an MBA but I don't have a CPA. A couple of universities here in So-Cal have some prep courses for the CPA license, so I might go that route once I'm feeling better, or just study on my own for the license which is also do-able, but I have to get better first. My friend isn't the editor of the journal anymore so I don't think she has to find the articles to go into the journal, but IDK. I'm thinking of just sending her an email politely declining. I could probably manage that.

Hey, you love filling out payday forms. CPA sounds like it’d be perfect for you. Good luck!

I don't like who I am. I hate being me.

I had looked up some things on IFS, and that is where I saw the protector who was trying to push people away. But, that was just how I felt. I'm not a therapist, I'm not a psychologist or a psychiatrist. I won't pretend to know anything. It just helped me explain my horribleness at least somewhat. It made me see that part in a different light. I am stating the truth. This IS who I am.

Because of who I really am, I have a need to really understand what is going on inside of me and I truly find myself completely baffling.? This isn't who I am. Why can't I be who I want to be or who I seem to be in real life (kind, etc..) except for today? I don't even respect myself.

I don't share a world with anyone else in it. I'm all alone. So is it my horribleness or my protector? OR something worse than that? I appreciate your kindness but I wish you would have yelled at me so at least I can identify with being horrible instead of all of this confusion. I really don't want to be horrible, but it is better than not having a self. Well, no it isn't. I am a big ****ing idiot. You deserve better patients than me. Whether you know it or not, I think the world of you enough to tell you to terminate me.

Oh, and Kit? Una is like Al Capone—only way the feds will ever catch her is through tax evasion. So your services might be needed...

Is that why my dad was always prodding me to become a bookkeeper?

Question for ladies....

So.. I have to get my annoying cyst drained unless it drains itself in the next few days... anyway... they have no openings but with male DR, normally I prefer men in almost anything but I've never had a guy touch me in that way.... and I have enough issues with touch as it is.... so for those who see a male OBGYN or have in the past... was it really bad? awkward? i feel like i might freak out

I hope he also told you to construct a seekrit underground vault that the next Geraldo can uncover on TV in 50 years...