[giggles6211]

One of us always asks the customary, "How are you?" and the other asks back as we both become situated in our respective chairs. Then, my therapist usually reads out loud parts of the session notes from last week, pauses, and waits for me to respond. Or, she sometimes does not read the notes and just comfortably waits for me to start talking. Silence definitely doesn't bother her. I appreciate the autonomy to have the session focused on what I want, but I also feel a lot of pressure and second guess often whether I pick appropriate topics or don't push myself hard enough.

I'm curious how others start their sessions.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

I usually know what I want to address when I arrive.

We start out by chit-chatting, then eventually I will launch in or she will say something along the lines of "What's happening?"

The only time I feel a little awkward is when the chit-chat lulls and she just sits there looking at me. But that's just a momentary pause, then I just start with whatever I've got on my plate.

[growlycat]

Tea!!!!!!!

[ElectricManatee]

Often she notices my mood on the way in based on my demeanor, so sometimes she comments on that, especially if I'm not doing well (she's usually pretty accurate). Sometimes she will ask how such and such event went if she knew something was happening between the previous session and the current one. Otherwise she just asks "How are you doing?"

I'm pretty sure she consults her notes before my appointment, but I've never read them and she references their existence extremely rarely.

[nottrustin]

This is one area my Ts are totally different from each other.

T use to check in and see how I was doing, hubby, kids, work, etc, at any time could and often did get into a topic.

Emdr T one of asks how the other is going then we ask the other. Then she waits for me to start talking. She never brings up topics. If I being something up from a previous week, she will say "I was going to ask". Starting to drive me crazy.

[ScarletPimpernel]

She asks me how I am in the hall. Then we get into the office, she ask how I really feel. That usually gets us talking, but not always. If it doesn't, she'll ask what I want to talk about. It takes me a minute, but I come up with something.

[zoiecat]

My sessions all start the same. He comes to get me and says "come on back.". Once we get in the room he asks "how are you feeling?" Then he asks "what has been going on since we talked last?" I usually give a one or two word response to each. He then hands me his tablet and I have to fillbout a 4 question thing on the last session and another on how I have been doing over the past week. This all takes less than 5 minutes followed by him asking to see my DBT diary card. He might discuss that for a minute and then he will usually ask what we should talk about that day unless there is something pressing he wants to bring up regarding a poor rating I gave on the survey or something he feels is important to discuss from the last session. We then either talk about something that may be bothering me that week or we do EMDR. Pretty typical.

[piggy momma]

We always make a bit of small talk - some days more than others. When we either run out of small talk or he senses I’m stalling, he looks at me and says “so what would you like to talk about today?” And we go from there.

I’ve already told him I have no material for this week, so we might spend an hour doing small talk. Who knows.

[feileacan]

I walk in, the T says hi, I typically ignore it. I walk to the couch and lay down and then I just am, first I just try to be and after a while I try to understand what's happening with me right now.

Sometimes I have some thought I feel able to say, other times I don't feel able to say anything. Those other times my T, when he's eventually sure that it's a day where I won't be able to start, then says something - comments something about how I came in or wonders how I might me, he's trying to be as non-directive as possible with his comment.

Eventually I will say something (in response to what he said or maybe completely ignoring it) and then we start to talk.

She asks how I am doing and what is new. I ask how she is doing. I have been helping her with a project so we usually talk about how thats going and joke around a bit about it. Then we get busy talking,

With great effort.

In silence. She often looks like she'd rather be anywhere else on earth which is a wonderfully ironic projection because so would I. Then she starts talking and poking her nose in. Before long, it's an argument and often I leave early. Passionate emails between sessions. Rinse and repeat. Silence again, etc.

[kaleidoscopeheart]

We start with small talk. We talk about what we did over the week and about the weather, sometimes sports, then we get into whatever we need to cover that day.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

It's almost always the same for me. Unless there has been something special that needs discussing (like if maybe we had a fallout near the end of the last session), he will say 'And, what about you?' and then wait until I start talking about whatever I have planned to talk about.

[Lrad123]

It’s stressful. He has perfected the art of the blank expression. I feel pressure to say something and fortunately, as soon as I do, his expression softens and he replies and it seems easier to continue talking. I do really dislike the first 60 seconds. No small talk for us.

[Waterloo12345]

Me neither - no small talk. We say hi when she let's me in. A polite hi. Then we go to the inner room, settle ourselves and I say hi again to her. Or hello. She says it back. Much warmer more feeling. Then she looks at me and waits for me to start. With the blank yet expectant and I am here face. The only time this changes is if there is a billing or scheduling issue. She raises it first thing so we can talk about it.

[SlumberKitty]

T comes and gets me and turns off the light signal next to the reception desk that let her know I arrived. She escorts me back to her office, usually asking, so how are you? Or something to that effect as we are walking. Since I'm walking in front of her and not looking at her, I find this uncomfortable. I also think she is critiquing my walking which makes me uncomfortable so I try to walk quickly but not too quickly to her office. I usually answer her question with one work answer. Like "fine" or something. Then when we get to her office, she either consults her computer or her notes. Then she looks at me, and asks how things are going, what's up, or what's happened since last time. Then it's my cue to get to talking. Kit

[giggles6211]

Originally Posted by Lrad123

I do really dislike the first 60 seconds. No small talk for us.

YES!!!! That 60 seconds seems like the whole session sometimes! I periodically will joke and say, "Now would be a good time to ask one of your thought provoking questions." Yet, she just waits!


Who knew those first few seconds had so much power?!!!? love-hate

[GeekyOne]

My T comes to the waiting room, where I am usually standing looking at the fish tank. I turn when I hear the door open, and she doesn't usually say anything, just moves aside and I walk in. Sometimes she says hello or something.

Walking back to her office, I always feel awkward with her behind me, studying me or something.

We sit down, and she asks how I'm doing. I respond with "not dead yet", she says she's glad, and asks how the week was. If we had contact during the week, or there was something hard that I was dealing with, she might instead ask about that and how I'm doing since then.

Some weeks she has to work harder than others to get me talking. I do try to think about what I want to talk about ahead of time. Some weeks that's easier than others.

[velcro003]

my T opens her door, smiles and says hi/come on in, something like that. i barely look at her as i whisper hi, then shut the door behind me and sit down. i sit awkwardly in silence for a few seconds and she then rescues me by asking how i am/how the week was...etc.

[piggy momma]

Ok so there seems to be a general consensus here that we all feel awkward with out Ts walking behind us. I thought it was just me. Glad I’m not alone. 99% of the time I make my way to his office alone, but if he sees me when the bldg is closed he has to come and let me in and then walk me out and the in part always feels weird. I actually enjoy being walked out because I get an extra 60 seconds with him.

[velcro003]

oh yeah i hated it when my last T would walk behind me to her office.

[susannahsays]

It seems bizarre and backwards to me that people's therapists are walking behind them. I guess the therapist is behind me for a minute, but her office opens into the waiting room, so it's not like she's really following me anywhere. She just stands there while I go in and then gets the door. But she is moving offices next month and I am really not going to like it if she walks behind me to her office. I'll tell her that tomorrow. And I'll mention that people don't generally like it here so maybe she won't do it to her other clients, either. If her office is even down a hallway at the new place.

Anyway, I don't have a strong sense of how sessions begin except that the therapist is looking at me and I feel her eyes boring through my skin.

[piggy momma]

I know my T walks behind me just to be polite - he sends me ahead of him. But I think next time I see him out of hours I’m going to send him first lol.

[susannahsays]

Well someone needs to tell these people to knock it off with the politeness in this one thing.