[Out There]

Hopefully this might open things up for further discussion and for people to feel supported and understood. Would people like to share any stories of how T's have gone about supporting them and or taking any action in relation to problematic T's and therapy ? My story is I have my original T still , but I got retraumatized by a T I went to for EMDR while I was seeing original T. Then after that retraumatization I went to another EMDR T who was great and treated me for it and was very supportive about how bad the T was. Now I've been retraumatized by HIS boss ( you couldn't make this stuff up ). Original T is still there and is not a happy bunny. But the upshot is I will never trust another therapist or therapy again due to all that happened.

[DP_2017]

I know many hate me here but I am very willing to offer support to you guys, I do think it's a good idea to share more of the stories.

I am very sorry this happened... and no doubt, I don't blame you for lack of trust. It's hard to trust people in general but I hope you do have someone in your life you can and do trust. Everyone needs that.

Thanks for posting this.

[Out There]

Do you feel people hate you DP ? I welcome any respectful and considered discussion on anything I post. I've been here years and only ever had one member on ignore , which was very recent and said member has now gone.

[DP_2017]

Very much so, because I have different views than many here and it's been part of alot of the recent drama so I feel I have been silenced. I'm not comfortable expressing my views here anymore.

[Ididitmyway]

I did have a few supportive subsequent therapists, but I only had a few meetings with them. None of them grew into another therapy endeavor. Like you, I was no longer willing to commit to therapy ever again not because I didn't trust any therapist as a person, but because I didn't trust the process.

I am currently using esoteric spiritual studies for self-healing, which I don't want to discuss here because I know that most people would mock it as "woo-woo" stuff. I know though that somebody here is interested in this. It might be you or somebody else, I don't know. I'd like to be able to chat with that person or those people privately if they are also inclined to do so.

[here today]

I cannot remember any stories of T's supporting me, only devastating and using me. This may be a selective memory due to how I conceptualize things now.

I came into therapy open to different viewpoints, accepted people as different, and so far as I can tell did not display "splitting", at least as I related to the outside world.

Therapy and therapists are now all "bad objects" to me and I will not go near another one with anything like trust again. Hatred and seeing others as "bad objects" serves a useful, defensive function sometimes. I believe that my hatred and distrust is justified by what has happened, by the attitudes I read from psychologists in the media in addition to the many I have seen personally, and from the general denial by the profession of the harm they do, and the people whom they have harmed.

Kinda harsh! But I have given myself persmission to have it. Perhaps it will soften over time -- that's different from not allowing myself to feel that way at all.

[JaneTennison1]

I thought after T1, I would never again trust another T...enter T2 that ended so badly I filed (and won) a formal complaint. At this point I was pretty done but all the reasons I had for seeking therapy remained and, failing any other way of resolving it, I started with T3

T3 has helped a lot. Firstly by processing the trauma of both T1 and T2, she did not devalue what I was saying nor did she appear to think I was lying. She was thrilled the board ruled in my favour. That was helpful. I would not continue with someone who appeared not to believe me.

She has been very clear and consistant with her boundaries, this helps me not feel insecure. Like I can predict her behaviour and rely on it.

So I am trying it for the third and final time, if it doesn't work then I am out for good, but it's been 2 years so we will see

Edited to say:I dont believe this is the right path or what everyone should do. Everyone should go with what is right for them.

[DP_2017]

Jane

Really sorry you had those bad experiences but I'm glad you didn't give up completely and was able to find a good t for you. I hope you are able to heal and have a lot of good in your future

[koru_kiwi]

Originally Posted by Out There

Would people like to share any stories of how T's have gone about supporting them and or taking any action in relation to problematic T's and therapy ?

the T (clinical psychologist) who helped me while i was still seeing ex-T was my neurofeedback therapist. he was the first professional, upon our first meeting hearing about many of my struggles (mostly the intense transference and counter transference) that was playing out with ex-T to say quite honestly and blunt 'some Ts just are not very good'. within an hour NFB assessment, NFB T understood me and validated many of my symptoms better than years of of talking with my ex-T ever did. NFB T didn't doubt me or the signs he was seeing from the data of the assessment. as i left that appointment, i broke down sobbing. they were tears of relief and tears of joy for a rekindled sense of hope that i was going to get past my traumas and had a real possibility to fully heal in a way that would work better for me.

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Very much so, because I have different views than many here and it's been part of alot of the recent drama so I feel I have been silenced. I'm not comfortable expressing my views here anymore.

You have a right to your opinion on here as much as anyone else does. It seems to me that it's those to want to live life as a victim and expect everyone else who doesn't are the ones that should be talking a look at themselves... Not you.

Originally Posted by Nemo1934

You have a right to your opinion on here as much as anyone else does. It seems to me that it's those to want to live life as a victim and expect everyone else who doesn't to bow to their plight are the ones that should be talking a look at themselves... Not you.

Sorry... Had to update for a complete sentence... I must have mistyped because someone took advantage of me

[blackocean]

Originally Posted by Nemo1934

Sorry... Had to update for a complete sentence... I must have mistyped because someone took advantage of me

That’s really messed up wtf

Originally Posted by blackocean

That’s really messed up wtf

Read up a few posts.. It isn't directed to the OP.

[stopdog]

For me, it was not so much about trust - although I don't think that profession is trustworthy, but more about spending money and energy on things that were a lot more useful and less squirrelly, opaque and emperor's new clothes-ish than I ever found therapy to be. Continuing to hand a therapist money seemed a form of self-punishment.
Qi gong, meditation, cranial sacral work, acupuncture and other things like that have all been much more useful for me than the therapist ever was -and without the constant gas-lighting and lying that the therapist did.

Originally Posted by Nemo1934

You have a right to your opinion on here as much as anyone else does. It seems to me that it's those to want to live life as a victim and expect everyone else who doesn't are the ones that should be talking a look at themselves... Not you.

More victim blaming on a survivors thread.

Everyone has a right to their opinions, but to make provocative comments on a space someone else set up to be ‘safe’ is truly low.

Originally Posted by koru_kiwi

the T (clinical psychologist) who helped me while i was still seeing ex-T was my neurofeedback therapist. he was the first professional, upon our first meeting hearing about many of my struggles (mostly the intense transference and counter transference) that was playing out with ex-T to say quite honestly and blunt 'some Ts just are not very good'. within an hour NFB assessment, NFB T understood me and validated many of my symptoms better than years of of talking with my ex-T ever did. NFB T didn't doubt me or the signs he was seeing from the data of the assessment. as i left that appointment, i broke down sobbing. they were tears of relief and tears of joy for a rekindled sense of hope that i was going to get past my traumas and had a real possibility to fully heal in a way that would work better for me.

I had a similar experience with my current CBT/EMDR therapist. What support meant to me was not the intimate, compassionate validation my former Rogerian therapist employed. Rather it was breaking down my emotions intellectually, explaining what was going on in my brain, and using reason to ‘action’ myself into a better headspace. That would not have been my preferred modality of therapy years ago, but when recovering from an intimate therapy relationship gone bad, I appreciate the scientific and intellectual wall that prevents me from falling into dependency with him.

[DP_2017]

If survivors need these threads, fine, I can support that but is there any reason to keep negatively talking about the people who have different views or whatever? Not this thread but the others have had some rude and singling out comments. Respect goes both ways

Originally Posted by DP_2017

If survivors need these threads, fine, I can support that but is there any reason to keep negatively talking about the people who have different views or whatever? Not this thread but the others have had some rude and singling out comments. Respect goes both ways

I agree with you. I actually took a long break from these boards because I was concerned about the negativity I was casting on others’ therapy experiences. There must be balance.

That said, some of the behaviors of posters here (not you and someone else that recently apologized) have veeered into abusive.

[here today]

Maybe we need some threads to discuss how to relate to each other on these threads!! Unfortunately, the place for that probably isn't the Psychotherapy Forum. Would anybody like to join me in this thread I just started in the Community Feedback and Technical Support forum?

How can we discuss differing opinions and not get into verbal fights?

[missbella]

Originally Posted by DP_2017

If survivors need these threads, fine, I can support that but is there any reason to keep negatively talking about the people who have different views or whatever? Not this thread but the others have had some rude and singling out comments. Respect goes both ways

Do you understand the difference between an opinion on say, public policy, and a thoughtless comment on someone else’s pain? Since you in no way relate to, or understand exploitative therapy, why this compulsion to participate? If you can’t authentically be supportive why keep injecting yourself? You request support around your issues many times a day. Doesn’t everyone else merit the same respect? I don’t relate to your life and issues, so I refrain from opinion. See how that works?

Every other being on this planet struggles too, many more than you do. Maybe life would improve if it included basic courtesy to others.

[here today]

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Very much so, because I have different views than many here and it's been part of alot of the recent drama so I feel I have been silenced. I'm not comfortable expressing my views here anymore.

Originally Posted by DP_2017

If survivors need these threads, fine, I can support that but is there any reason to keep negatively talking about the people who have different views or whatever? Not this thread but the others have had some rude and singling out comments. Respect goes both ways

Originally Posted by missbella

Do you understand the difference between an opinion on say, public policy, and a thoughtless comment on someone else’s pain? Since you in no way relate to, or understand exploitative therapy, why this compulsion to participate? If you can’t authentically be supportive why keep injecting yourself? You request support around your issues many times a day. Doesn’t everyone else merit the same respect? I don’t relate to your life and issues, so I refrain from opinion. See how that works?

Every other being on this planet struggles too, many more than you do. Maybe life would improve if it included basic courtesy to others.

C'mon, peeps. Can we please take this to the other thread so as not to derail the topic of this thread? Guess that is a special invitation to DP_2017 since missbella has already posted on the other thread, which wasn't there yet last time DP_2017 posted.

[Echos Myron redux]

Glad to see a thread started for the usual 'support' debate, thanks here today.

OP: You had alluded to what happened to you before, and I'm sorry again to hear more details of how you have come to be in the place you are. It's not surprising you don't feel like you can trust a therapist again. I hope your current therapist can at least go some way to helping you heal those wounds. I know he's always been good support for you in the past.

Originally Posted by PurpleMirrors1

More victim blaming on a survivors thread.

Everyone has a right to their opinions, but to make provocative comments on a space someone else set up to be ‘safe’ is truly low.

Alienating people with a different perspective to the point that they don't feel like they are able to speak out in support of the OP of this thread is also low.

Maybe not everyone wants to stay stuck in the victim role forever. People who are brave enough to speak up and talk about how they've been successful rising above their tragedy seem to be labeled as victim blamers and shamers. Why isn't that experience just as valid and welcome as a "sad hug"?

[here today]

Originally Posted by Nemo1934

Alienating people with a different perspective to the point that they don't feel like they are able to speak out in support of the OP of this thread is also low.

Maybe not everyone wants to stay stuck in the victim role forever. People who are brave enough to speak up and talk about how they've been successful rising above their tragedy seem to be labeled as victim blamers and shamers. Why isn't that experience just as valid and welcome as a "sad hug"?

This is a thread about "Survivors of therapy and their therapists". There is another thread where this comment would be more appropriate. Please take it there. If you don't, I will request that the moderators move it there. They may not agree with my request, but I will request it.

Perhaps it would help to keep this reminder in mind:

A reminder about support & judgment here

Originally Posted by Nemo1934

Alienating people with a different perspective to the point that they don't feel like they are able to speak out in support of the OP of this thread is also low.

Maybe not everyone wants to stay stuck in the victim role forever. People who are brave enough to speak up and talk about how they've been successful rising above their tragedy seem to be labeled as victim blamers and shamers. Why isn't that experience just as valid and welcome as a "sad hug"?

I don’t know of anyone who would prefer to stay in a victim role. That has not been my impression of posters who have suffered through trauma in therapy.

I see blaming those who ‘chose the stay victims’ on par with blaming someone with depression for being sad. It’s judgmental and insensitive.

I don’t see any of your comments as supportive of anything, other than trying to rattle cages and start conflict. I would be willing to listen to your explanation of how you’ve been trying to be helpful in this thread - the topic is about Survivors of therapy.