[always_wondering]

My therapist is sick and will be having surgery. He will be out for a month or two afterwards. What should I do to let him know I care? He is pretty strict with personal boundaries.should I send flowers, a card, a present? What is appropriate? I have been seeing him for over 5 years.

[coolibrarian]

I'm sorry, AW, that you have to deal with this. I know how hard it is; My T had cancer surgery on November 15th, and is still out of the office, due to some complications she had. In my case, "Little Cool" was and is so angry that she hasn't sent anything, although "Adult Cool" intended to do so. Flowers or a present are too expensive. Send a "get well" card, and leave it at that.

[RaineD]

I think both flowers and cards are fine. You can also send presents, if you can think of a good one. I was never able to come up with anything.

I'm sorry your therapist is sick. That's really hard.

[SlumberKitty]

I think a nice card would be appropriate. HUGS Kit

[Glowworm80]

You could send him a card and flowers if that’s what you want to do. If he has really strict boundaries I’m sure just a card would be just as appreciated.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Honestly, just a card. If you will see him prior to surgery, just well wishes is truly all someone going into surgery needs.

[Anne2.0]

My therapist was out for a few months after surgery a few years ago. I didn't send anything-- it didn't occur to me to do so, though I don't think it's wrong to send whatever you want. My therapist isn't a gift-loving type and I'm not really a card-sending type for anyone. I call and I bring food and I offer to run errands for my friends when they are ill.

You are not thinking you *have* to send something, right? Because it would be therapeutic for you if you resisted such an urge. But if you really want to, I would send a handmade or other simple card, wish him a speedy recovery.

[piggy momma]

I would just do a card. When my last T was out for surgery, I wanted to send flowers, but as it turned out he had major allergies to them and it would have caused a lot of complications. Then I thought about sending a fruit basket, but he was on a really restricted diet and couldn't eat anything not provided by the hospital. I think I ended up sending him a plant, but moral of the story...there could be a lot of background issues so keep it simple and nice.

[susannahsays]

Well, he won't be in any position to reject gifts and make people take them back after he's had surgery. If you know what hospital he's going to be in, there's nothing he can do to stop you from sending whatever you want. You've been seeing him for a significant period of time, so I think it would be ok but not expected for you to send something. I'd probably send the therapist flowers and a book or something (I'm not good at expressing myself, so I wouldn't know what to say in a card). If he wants to make a big deal about it and dissect the whole thing and what giving him something meant to you, and all that nonsense, he can do so when he gets back. Personally, if a therapist ever tried that with me I would tell them to cut that **** out, but apparently some of them do...

[stopdog]

I would not send anything. I might say I hope they were either going to do well if the next appointment was before the surgery or that they were healing well at the next appointment if it was after the surgery, but that is about it.
I did not have any urges to send the therapist flowers or anything.