[Omers]

I tend to take note of what I found helpful or not helpful during a session and let my T know either by email or if I am feeling brave in the next session. I have had some T’s get really upset by this and saying I was sabotaging therapy. Most of what I say is positive and I had one T get angry and tell me I would not always like what she had to say (duh). Current T doesn’t really acknowledge it, sometimes he will thank me for sharing, but he does seem to take it into account in the future.

[junkDNA]

yep! he hasn't gotten defensive at all (yet??) and has sometimes even agreed with me!

[nottrustin]

My t's have always encouraged my feedback. I randomly thank them for all they are doing for me. If something didn't work at an appointment we will discuss it. At one appointment she said something that really bothered me. I did a lot of reflecting over the following week and wrote my reaction as well as why I believed I had that reaction. I had her read it. She handled it well and we discussed why she said why she said what she said.

I never really said anything negative or told T I was upset.

[CharlieStarDust]

I ALWAYS give her feedback and she welcomes it. I can’t imagine working with a T that wasn’t receptive to feedback - positive and negative. How can you preach growth and development and be unable to hear what does and doesn’t work for your clients?!

[coolibrarian]

Yes, but not always in the same session.

[piggy momma]

Yes. He is very open to it!

[ScarletPimpernel]

My T appreciates feedback. I try to remember to tell her when things are or aren't helpful. She doesn't take it personally. I also try to remember to tell her about the good things in my life, so she can see my progress and know when I am and not feeling depressed.

[kaleidoscopeheart]

Yup. T welcomes the feedback and for the most part is willing to adjust accordingly.

[susannahsays]

No feedback typically. She did ask recently if I thought she was helping me, and I said yes. She then asked me if I could tell her how, which was annoying, but I did so. I guess that was feedback although it was more about the outcomes rather than what she had specifically done that had helped me achieve them.

[Anne2.0]

My T relishes feedback, especially in those windows where I can catch my reaction to something said or done (I also like to comment on the look on his face) in the moment. These days, I more comment on the face as I'm in general less irritated about the precision of his language or whatever, I'm less nitpicky in general with people. A good thing for me.

The only time where I think he was a little stony-faced was when I did a sand tray and represented him with a figure, whose head I stuck in the sand.

[ArtleyWilkins]

All the time? Each and every session? No. That would seem awkward and overkill. Perhaps if you are doing an email to them after every session, that might be a bit over the top.

I do give feedback when I need to, however. Perhaps something has changed or been particularly helpful (or unhelpful). My therapists never had a problem with having those direct discussions.

Have you considered being less frequent about this (you present this as a weekly email thing) and perhaps more directly (face-to-face rather than email)? Perhaps the issue is the presentation and frequency?

[LonesomeTonight]

I give my T feedback fairly regularly, sometimes during session, sometimes after the fact. He's generally quite receptive to it and has shifted some ways that he works with me as a result of it.

[stopdog]

I did once, in response to her inquiry, agree to tell her if she was ever useful.
I told her that she was reasonably okay with staying back. It was useful to have a place to vent where I did not have to deal with anyone else's reactions when my person was dying so I did not kill any of the idiot medical people. The woman really didn't have to do anything but sit there so I doubt even she could have screwed that up much.

[here today]

Client feedback can improve outcomes. Here's just one article:

Feedback-Informed Treatment: Empowering Clients to Use Their Voices

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

Have you considered being less frequent about this (you present this as a weekly email thing) and perhaps more directly (face-to-face rather than email)? Perhaps the issue is the presentation and frequency?

I would agree that exploring how you provide feedback is a good idea. What would you think if your boss, assuming you have one, or your partner/spouse, or anyone else in your life sent you a weekly email about your performance?

Many people use email because they are fearful of direct communication. I think it's a useful skill to be able to speak to people directly about your experience. Email may be easier but I doubt that it is a useful skill to cultivate for this purpose. Some of email expertise is understanding when to pick up the phone so it is an interaction rather than a monologue. That's really the problem IMO, that email isn't communication in the true sense of realtime conversation, tone is definitely part of that, but so is nonverbal language, being able to clarify whether you're the speaker or the listener, and a bunch of other things that make it so less effective as communication of important information than the phone or the in person.

Email communication shuts people out, speaking in session welcomes the other party in. There are times when perhaps a monologue is relevant or necessary, but if you consider a play or a movie or a novel, does anyone ever say, "gee, I wish there were more and longer monologues" in this piece.