[colorsofthewind12]

I am being a little ***** in therapy these days and I hate myself for it. I can’t seem to stop.

It’s so frustrating because I have so much that I need to process with my T but I am locked in a power struggle with him.

[Out There]

You're conscious and aware of it happening which is positive , so whatever it is is quite near the surface to be looked at and hopefully resolved and healed. Which part is it ? A teenage part in a power struggle with parent/parents over something ? We do play it all out again , frustratingly for us sometimes.

[Anne2.0]

It is really impossible to stop? For me, it has helped to begin a session with the thing I'm trying to stop. "T, I notice I've been in __ mode lately, and the power struggles with you are frustrating me. Can we discuss how I can interrupt this cycle?"

I have also found that I can use my awareness that it is happening to look backwards, such as what emotion am I feeling just before I engage in a power struggle? My guess, because fight-or-flight is automated and mostly disconnected from our conscious brain, is that is is fear. When I feel afraid, I notice first that my chest tightens and it feels like blood is rushing into the temples of my forehead. If I take three deep breaths (which supposedly hooks in the vagus nerve), it's like that wall goes down and I'm back to a un-triggered place and can respond with intent and focus. So for me, understanding the emotion that underlies my response and derailing it helps me get into a place where I can choose how to react.

[HD7970GHZ]

Originally Posted by colorsofthewind12

I am being a little ***** in therapy these days and I hate myself for it. I can’t seem to stop.

It’s so frustrating because I have so much that I need to process with my T but I am locked in a power struggle with him.

IF you trust your therapist, the best thing you could do is just talk about it openly like you have here. Just tell him what you told us and go in with the intent to improve matters.

Is this something you have done?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[colorsofthewind12]

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

IF you trust your therapist, the best thing you could do is just talk about it openly like you have here. Just tell him what you told us and go in with the intent to improve matters.

Is this something you have done?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

I have tried, I think, but not as explicity as I have articulated here.

Is he aware of this power struggle?

He should help you out of it....so I wonder if he doesn't see w what's going on.

[colorsofthewind12]

Originally Posted by octoberful

Is he aware of this power struggle?

He should help you out of it....so I wonder if he doesn't see w what's going on.

He’s very much aware. He taught me to identify dynamics like that as such. I suspect that he wants me to get out of it myself.

Ok, I see. My T might do the same, but though rare, after a while he might do an intervention type session to propel me forward....

If you care to share what it is, maybe we could help?