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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
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#1
I have an appt with my new T on May 21. Current T leaves May 18 and he wants me to see new T right away so I’m not waiting until I’m in crisis to talk to him.
I’m so scared I’m going to like him. I’m scared he’ll be easy to talk to and let’s me talk about things I can’t talk about right now. I don’t want it to work with him. |
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chihirochild, ElectricManatee, guilloche, LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, Omers, SlumberKitty, Taylor27, unaluna
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
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#2
I'm glad you have an appointment with a T after your current T leaves. I know you're scared but I think it will be good for you to not have 4 months without therapy. HUGS Kit
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Omers, piggy momma
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
Posts: 3,132
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#3
I'm glad you are able to see someone else. What's up with the attitude, though, it seems to me like a good thing to be able to talk about things you need to, to be able to work with someone else successfully rather than wasting your time and money. Are you afraid of feeling better, making progress, having to confront your real issues rather than your current T's problems?
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blackocean, Omers
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
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#4
Quote:
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guilloche, Omers, SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since Jun 2014
Location: US
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#5
*hugs* - good luck Piggy Momma... I hope you like him enough to feel comfortable, but not so much that it makes you uncomfortable or makes things difficult with your other T!
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Omers, piggy momma
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
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#6
I decided to meet with the new guy this week even tho current T doesn’t leave for six weeks. I don’t want to wait til he’s gone, meet with new guy, find out new guy isn’t a good fit or won’t see me under these weird circumstances, and have to start my search all over when I’m stressed out of my mind. I’ll tell current T tomorrow after class and make sure he’s been ok with it.
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guilloche, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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DP_2017
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
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#7
Quote:
__________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
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piggy momma
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
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#8
That seems like a good plan, to try meeting with him now in case you don't like him.
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piggy momma, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: the upside down
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#9
I feel like you're having to get permission from your current t to do this. You said earlier you "only have to go every second week". Is current t dictating how often you can/have to see this other t? And you feel the need to ask if it's okay if you see the new guy before he leaves. You don't need his permission to take care of yourself. He's the one going away for three months. You can see new guy as early as and as often as you feel you need to (I know you said money is an issue). I just worry that there's some power dynamic going on with your current t that is harming you.
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ElectricManatee, GeekyOne
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
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#10
No, her current therapist is the one insisting she see someone.
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
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#11
Susannahsays is correct. Current T is adamant that I see someone at bare minimum every two weeks while he is away. And yes, there is a power thing going on. I have to check with him on pretty much everything. Last session we talked about how many classes I can take next year. I have to ask to go on vacation. He said I can’t go to Mexico this month but I’m going anyway (he knows). I’m supposed to check before I make any large purchases (I might have bought my pig a new $600 house this weekend without checking with him). I hate feeling like I can’t make my own decisions. I’ve told him this. He says I can but truly I can’t. In his defence I gave him permission to be this involved because I’m really really bad at managing my money and I suck at making decisions. But sometimes it’s frustrating.
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guilloche, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
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#12
Jillian got a new house!
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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LonesomeTonight
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
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#13
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susannahsays
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: the upside down
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#14
I understood that he wants you to see someone else while he's away. My point is, he's gone for three months, he doesn't get to dictate what you do. I think it's a good idea to see new guy at least every other week, ideally more often, but I just don't think your MIA therapist should be able to tell you what to do. He tells you that you can't come twice a week, but then he tells you how often you must see the replacement t and when you can start seeing him? This bothers me. But he's your t. I hope this power dynamic feels okay to you and is helping you.
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LonesomeTonight, piggy momma
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
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#15
We don’t have a perfect relationship, but I have to trust that he has my best interests at heart.
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guilloche, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
Posts: 3,132
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#16
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
Posts: 3,132
11 129 hugs
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#17
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ArtleyWilkins, ElectricManatee, elisewin, NP_Complete, Rive.
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Magnate
Member Since Jun 2014
Location: US
Posts: 2,734
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#18
*hugs* I'm really glad to hear you're going to meet up with the new T sooner. I think doing it sooner can help alleviate some of the stress (I'd be stressed to have that meeting on the horizon, and would rather get it over with sooner!) and like you said, it gives you more time just in case the new T isn't a good-enough match for you.
Good luck, I hope the meeting goes well (but again, not too well! ) - just well enough that you can get the support you need! |
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Magnate
Member Since May 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,515
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#19
Your T is like a gigantic red flag, waving a bunch of smaller red flags that are actually pinwheels made of tiny red flags.
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ArtleyWilkins, circlesincircles, GingerBee, Lrad123, lucozader, NP_Complete
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healing from trauma
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
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#20
I am so glad you have another t lined up.
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