[SlumberKitty]

Hi Everyone. I was supposed to have therapy tonight at 5 but my therapist called and said she had a family emergency and needed to cancel, and that she would have the office call to reschedule me. The last time I saw her was the 18th of March, so almost a month. The office hasn't called to reschedule me yet but I wouldn't be surprised if it was another month before I got in. I'm feeling let down that I don't have therapy tonight. It means I can go to my volunteer position, but, I would have rather gone to therapy. Funny because last week I was really not feeling it, like I wasn't looking forward to my therapy appointment but that changed over the weekend, and suddenly I was looking forward to it.


I also have a decision to make. I have given up SH for Lent and my T was pushing me a bit to extend that decision out. Without her accountability, because I won't be seeing her so she won't be pushing me, I will be easy for me to not feel like I need to extend it out. I don't want to let myself off easy but I feel like, well she wasn't there for me, so it doesn't matter.


I feel a little abandoned, even though I know logically that is not what happened. And it is a little ridiculous to feel abandoned. I just feel like I don't have the support that I would have liked to have had. Especially because I was having SUI thoughts/feelings this past weekend, and now I have no help with them for another however long.


I guess I'm whining. I'd like to be heard. Thanks all. Kit

[coolibrarian]

I hear you Kit, and will PM you with a suggestion.

--Cool

[SalingerEsme]

It’s a sad feeling to m get canceled suddenly. Your T should make a special effort to see you promptly after the emergency resolves . 2 months is too long.

[Lemoncake]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Hi Everyone. I was supposed to have therapy tonight at 5 but my therapist called and said she had a family emergency and needed to cancel, and that she would have the office call to reschedule me. The last time I saw her was the 18th of March, so almost a month. The office hasn't called to reschedule me yet but I wouldn't be surprised if it was another month before I got in. I'm feeling let down that I don't have therapy tonight. It means I can go to my volunteer position, but, I would have rather gone to therapy. Funny because last week I was really not feeling it, like I wasn't looking forward to my therapy appointment but that changed over the weekend, and suddenly I was looking forward to it.

I also have a decision to make. I have given up SH for Lent and my T was pushing me a bit to extend that decision out. Without her accountability, because I won't be seeing her so she won't be pushing me, I will be easy for me to not feel like I need to extend it out. I don't want to let myself off easy but I feel like, well she wasn't there for me, so it doesn't matter.

I feel a little abandoned, even though I know logically that is not what happened. And it is a little ridiculous to feel abandoned. I just feel like I don't have the support that I would have liked to have had. Especially because I was having SUI thoughts/feelings this past weekend, and now I have no help with them for another however long.

I guess I'm whining. I'd like to be heard. Thanks all. Kit

Firstly I don't think your whining at all. Your feelings are valid and make perfect sense.

I wouldn't be able to see someone who couldn't schedule me sooner if I needed it. Dealing with SUI thoughts/feelings is so very hard. How long have you been seeing this T? Would you consider seeing someone else. You could keep her as back up T?

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Firstly I don't think your whining at all. Your feelings are valid and make perfect sense.

I wouldn't be able to see someone who couldn't schedule me sooner if I needed it. Dealing with SUI thoughts/feelings is so very hard. How long have you been seeing this T? Would you consider seeing someone else. You could keep her as back up T?

Hi Lemoncake. I've been seeing this T since August. Anywhere from 3 times a month to one time a month depending on her schedule. I think only one month it was 3 times. Her schedule is pretty tight. I've looked on Psychology today but I really haven't seen another T that looked like a good fit for me. So I would consider seeing someone else if I could find someone that wasn't strict CBT and also does sliding scale or takes my insurance. I'm not overly attached to this T or anything. But it just sucks that she's not there for me today. HUGS Kit

[guilloche]

Oh gosh, it's so hard to find a T that's a good fit - but wow. Even once a month seems really really difficult, unless you're very close to finishing up. I hope that they call soon, and make it a priority to get you in.

I'd be really upset about my T canceling on me with short notice, even if it's a good reason. It just is a crappy situation, honestly. It would be easier if she could at least have a plan... like if she'd open up an emergency spot to see you within a couple days.

*hugs* good luck!

[ElectricManatee]

I couldn't handle once a month unless I was right on the cusp of being ready to leave therapy altogether. It seems like it would be impossible to get the momentum to make progress at that rate. I also think it's very understandable to feel disappointed and abandoned, even if your T has a perfectly good reason for canceling.

It sounds like things have just barely gotten started with this T, so maybe you can use this unintentional "break" to look around for a new T. My T is a good fit for me, but I probably wouldn't have chosen her based on her Psychology Today profile, if it had existed at the time. It might be worth trying out a few "maybes" and seeing what happens.

[HD7970GHZ]

Hi Slumberkitty,

I am sorry to hear that your therapist has cancelled on you. That is such a difficult thing to deal with! I think your therapist has inadvertently ruptured your relationship and I hope she makes an effort to repair things. It isn't fair, especially when you've built rapport and especially when you want her help.

Have you told your therapist how much this affects you?

I hope things improve for you.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[piggy momma]

Oh man that is really difficult. I’m sorry you got cancelled on, especially when you’re struggling so much.

I won’t repeat what has already been said, but I will encourage you to try to continue refraining from SI. Not for her. Not for God. But for you. Because you deserve to let go of that pain and dysfunctional coping mechanism. I’m so proud of you for making it so far this Lent - keep pushing through and just do your best.

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by piggy momma

Oh man that is really difficult. I’m sorry you got cancelled on, especially when you’re struggling so much.

I won’t repeat what has already been said, but I will encourage you to try to continue refraining from SI. Not for her. Not for God. But for you. Because you deserve to let go of that pain and dysfunctional coping mechanism. I’m so proud of you for making it so far this Lent - keep pushing through and just do your best.

Thanks Piggy Momma. I'll try to keep going after Lent is over. I'm worried I'm going to fail in an epic way. Even having my T cancel on me is making me want to just throw in the towel. But I just have to get my emotions under control and try not to go into that whole she's abandoned me headspace. HUGS Kit

[LostOnTheTrail]

So sorry, Kit. The tune is slightly different, but I am in a similar boat. Sickness and Easter break combined. Sending hugs, and hoping you can get an appointment soon.

[SlumberKitty]

I just talked to the receptionist at my therapist's office and she can't see me until May the 6th. That's going to be a long time for me to not have seen her. This sucks. I'm really struggling with my emotions to try to keep them from not drowning me. I feel like crying. Kit

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

So sorry, Kit. The tune is slightly different, but I am in a similar boat. Sickness and Easter break combined. Sending hugs, and hoping you can get an appointment soon.

Sorry you are in a similar boat. HUGS Kit

[velcro003]

kit-her schedule SUCKS. There is no way she can see you sooner? Does she only see all her patients on a monthly basis? I couldn’t handle that. I hope you can stay safe and not SH.

[susannahsays]

I think your therapist is borderline unethical for seeing you so inconsistently. I don't mean for cancelling due to this family emergency - obviously, things happen sometimes. I mean that it's horrible that she thinks it's ok to basically use you to fill the gaps in her schedule - because that's what's happening. She does not actually have room for you on her caseload, and should not have taken you on. Therapists should not see clients they cannot see on a consistent basis (when the client wants to be seen consistently).

[Rive.]

Oh no, that's a long time to get to see T, SlumberKitty.

Your feelings are perfectly valid though, as I would feel the same. Regarding accountability - maybe you could use psychcentral as your accountability buddy instead of T?

And yes, keep looking for and interviewing other Ts. Seeing T from once to three times a month is rough..

Hang in there.

[susannahsays]

Maybe you could interview some alternative therapists in the meantime.

I feel like sending this therapist a strongly worded missive.

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by susannahsays

I think your therapist is borderline unethical for seeing you so inconsistently. I don't mean for cancelling due to this family emergency - obviously, things happen sometimes. I mean that it's horrible that she thinks it's ok to basically use you to fill the gaps in her schedule - because that's what's happening. She does not actually have room for you on her caseload, and should not have taken you on. Therapists should not see clients they cannot see on a consistent basis (when the client wants to be seen consistently).

I hadn't thought of it like that before. I would prefer to be seen every week or every other week. But that's not worked out with this T.

[Amyjay]

I'm so sorry, that is such a long time on top of such a long time.

[guilloche]

Oh wow... I agree so strongly with Susannahsays re: your T being unethical. She knows your struggling with self harm, and expects you to go months between appointments?

I'm kind of peeved at her on your behalf.

You deserve better!!! And, I agree... emergencies happen... but just like she expects flexibility when she has an emergency and has to cancel with short notice, she should also *give* flexibility to reschedule you, especially given what you're dealing with, so that you don't end up having to wait another month b/c of her schedule. To me, it would be appropriate for her to work an extra hour, for example, to fit you in on a day sooner... given that your appointment disappeared through no fault of your own.

Ugh, I'm so so sorry. Hang in there. (And if you're up for it, definitely consider looking around at the other therapists - it sounds like there aren't a lot of good options by you, but just in case you manage to find one hiding somewhere nearby!)

*hugs*

[SalingerEsme]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I just talked to the receptionist at my therapist's office and she can't see me until May the 6th. That's going to be a long time for me to not have seen her. This sucks. I'm really struggling with my emotions to try to keep them from not drowning me. I feel like crying. Kit

That just doesn't seem like enough care, or even responsible practice.

[sarahsweets]

Definitely look for a new therapist...

[Taylor27]

You deserve so much better sh is very hard and you need a therapist that is way more avalible to you. I struggle with sh and it's very hard to go a month between sessions. May 6th is a very long time and i would phone her and let her know you need to see her soon or find another therapist. Hugs

I’m so sorry!!!!

Yes to what everyone else said!!!!

I can’t imagine once a month appointments are nearly enough to support what you are going through. If she can’t give you what you need, it’s a great time to look for someone who can.

[LonesomeTonight]

I'm so sorry, Kit. Ex-MC used to have to cancel often at the last minute because of his wife, so I understand how difficult it is. Would it be possible for you to schedule more than one appointment at a time so you could be seen more frequently? Or could you maybe find another T to see in the off weeks? Even if they don't have the best Psychology Today profile, they could still be pretty good--some T's are better at those than others. And many aren't listed on there, so it might be good to just do a google search with you area and "therapists" or something like that. Hugs...