[Omers]

Is it wrong to want a person who has physically and sexually assulted me, gaslighted, manipulated, stolen from me and otherwise abused me to NOT be around me, certainly not unsupervised regardless of their relation to me?
T is the only one that thinks he has to be gone yesterday. Everyone else is like “sorry to hear that”... even H is mad because I won’t deal with him any more.

Yes, I know posting this here is significantly skewing the replies I will get, however, after yesterday I can’t deal with being told “sorry YOU are going through this”. “HE is so good here”, “I can’t imagine HIM doing anything like that”, “why can’t YOU do more”....

[sarahsweets]

So to make sure I understand..this person did all the horrible things you mentioned and you do not want this person around and your T agrees but there are others (friends, family etc) that think its ok to have this person around?

[ArtleyWilkins]

Your therapist is right. But your situation is complicated. I do hope placement can be found for the person so that you are no longer exposed to that abuse. But yes, your therapist is right. Others are torn because of who this is; that does not mean they are right.

[downandlonely]

I think you and your therapist are right. You shouldn't be around this person.

[unaluna]

T is not the only one. I sincerely hope you find a way out.

[Taylor27]

You t is right and i too hope you find your way out. You should not be around that person.

[cryingontheinside]

Get this person away from you . you and your T are right . you can't be around someone that did those things to you .

[Rive.]

Yes, this type of treatment from anyone is not acceptable.

It's easy for people who are not in your shoes (e.g. H, family, strangers) to judge. You know how things are, so you have to do all in your power to cut loose (or cut them loose).

[SlumberKitty]

I'm sorry you are in this situation. I don't think you should be around this person. HUGS Kit

[ArtleyWilkins]

Is there any option/way for YOU to move away from this person since no one is supporting removing this person from your living situation? Would you perhaps qualify for a shelter situation?

[Omers]

No one believes he should be around me. However, he cannot be left unsupervised and I am the designated supervision so it isn’t like I could even go to a domestic violence shelter as I would be charged with neglect of a dependent. He has the highest funding for treatment he can get and is getting NO services. Can’t even get call backs!
I did talk to a group of gentlemen today that are friends with most of the police in a 3-5 County circle... they are going to see why I can’t get anything done. At least one of these gentlemen has a daughter at risk so he has a vested interest in my being listened to.
However, the service providers, mental health counselors and psychiatrist will NOT make any of the necessary referrals to get him put some place... even though his behavioural counselor is significantly reducing his hours with him because the mental health counselor is afraid of the liability

[ArtleyWilkins]

Is there some way to remove yourself as his "designated supervisor" legally?

[Omers]

That is the issue... no one will willingly take him on without basically a court order... so someone has to have prosicutible charges and prove intent... or if I die the state has to take custody. But everything around us is privatized so it is hard to make them take someone. The last two times the state removed him they couldn’t find placement for him so he came home with a list of service providers... but none called us back. The system is just so screwed up!

[unaluna]

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sour...uh4d8WJlErMzgR

Yep, thats basically what this article says.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Originally Posted by unaluna

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sour...uh4d8WJlErMzgR

Yep, thats basically what this article says.

Excellent article . . . with no real answers. So frustrating! And frightening.

[stopdog]

In my jurisdiction, parents can petition the court for guardianship of an incompetent adult child and in that petition they can ask the court to appoint a person other than themselves to be the guardian - there is a public official in each county whose job includes being in charge of wards. The law in my state cannot insist or force the parent to care for an incompetent adult offspring.
As I am one of the people appointed to represent the alleged incapacitated person (it is considered an adversarial proceeding so they have a right to counsel) I have seen how hard it is for parents to get to that point.
If you have not done so, and if you are in the united states, I would suggest consulting a family law/probate attorney (guardianship are often lumped into probate) about what you can do do be taken off as the responsible person or to get someone else named (like his father). It also might take (depending on the jurisdiction) something like you having the psychiatrist and therapist help you prepare info with reasons why you cannot continue to be the responsible person.