Do you think there’s a benefit in a T being blank slate?

Apr 20, 2019 at 06:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by octoberful

As someone with a history of severe neglect, I found a lot of benefit in this approach though it was a very difficult way to do therapy.

If you feel insecure around the T, that is your sense of self. I'm not sure I would have changed, becoming more secure with myself if I am always depending on the other person to make me feel secure. I found it to be disempowering letting another person determine how I feel, and working through this insecurity in therapy allowed me to master it within myself. It's freeing that my emotional state is no longer dependent on other's words or behaviors for the most part.

I also think the connection is more genuine once you get through the transference, and it seems my T has been more reciprocal since the transference dissipated. I used to relate to him as an attachment figure, and wanted soothing and nurturing from him, which is not who he really was. Relating to him as the person he really is has led to a stronger, more genuine connection.

Thanks for sharing that the blank slate way has helped you.

I think I view it differently to you. I consider that we are social beings and that from infancy our interactions with others play a big part in shaping our brain. If we have warm and loving care givers, this impacts us. I’ve read things written by Anthony Shore and others who discuss this theory. I view it that a therapist can give you a reparative experience if they are warm and accepting. I don’t really see it as the client being dependent on the therapist, more that the experience can bring about lasting change.

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Do you think there’s a benefit in a T being blank slate?

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