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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
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#1
From all the things I told my T about my mother he says he suspects she was had schizophrenia. My mother never said anything about hearing voices but he said that maybe she did and never said anything and that not all hear voices. I still think she was a mix of borderline and narcissist with splashes of evil. She was always coherent with very organized thinking.
If this is true than OMG poor baby little MoxieDoxie and it explains how I got to be this way. IDK but anyway that woman was mentally ill and at this point what does it matter now? Anyone raised by an undiagnosed untreated parent and managed to get away sane? __________________ When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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#2
Diagnosed but untreated father. The getting away sane part... Working on it.
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MoxieDoxie
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MoxieDoxie
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#3
My biological mother was schizophrenic and her sister who raised me and was a pyphsics tutor was not diagnosed but every now then she would compulsively mow the lawn because of the little men in the grass. This did not seem odd to me. I was first diagnosed with schizophrenia then later depression then finally bipolar disorder. I think the odds are against, but if the other parent is sane there might be a chance.
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
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#4
I am 52 so no I will not get schizophrenia but from being raised by that woman I am cPTSD, Borderline and suspicious of NOSDD. That is what I mean by getting away sane. Not having the parents mental illness splatter all over you and growing up to be a "normal" person with no mental health issues.
__________________ When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 3,515
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#5
My family didn't have schizophrenia, although a cousin did, but I'm pretty sure it was from the other side of his family (ha-ha, but really. . .). My family was more in the narcissistic, codependent, enmeshed category -- and despite starting therapy at 15 for an eating disorder and continuing it often since then, I did not ever get sane, or happy, or contributing much to the world in any meaningful way. The environment I grew up in was the environment I grew up in. And although I kind of did OK as a young adult, in my 20's and 30's, it started falling apart after that -- achieving some (outward) "successes" in the world didn't provide for what I was lacking internally. How does one get that in later life? I don't know. For me, therapy didn't help a lot with that, either.
Wish I had more to offer -- some solace that you're not alone, probably, is all I can say? And keep on keeping on. . .it's not over till it's over, and one never knows . . . |
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MoxieDoxie
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Member Since Apr 2019
Location: United States
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#6
I had an undiagnosed and untreated mother. She too was very organized, but boy oh boy was she a sociopath! No empathy from her, no tenderness, only her own feelings counted and too bad for the rest of us. She started the screaming tirades when I was about 7 and continued on for the rest of her life. Yes the bills were always paid on time by her and dinner was always cooked but really I was raised by a monster. She was ignorant and just plain mean. My father was the polar opposite and I loved him dearly. He was a father and a mother to me. He was very nurturing. How the 2 of them got together is one of life's mysteries. His failing was he almost never protected me from her and completely let her run the show. She treated him poorly too. I remember being depressed as far back as age 3. Then severe OCD hijacked my mind at age 13. I also sometimes get anxiety. So no I didn't make it out sane. I have to take 4 psych meds to be half way ok. It's not the life I would've chosen but I do the best I can with what I've been given.
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MoxieDoxie
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Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,285
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#7
My mother never in her life would have seen a professional. She was too high and mighty about being seen as 'common' (she was overly concerned about class status and social standing). But I look back on it now and it was clear she had mental health problems. In fact, they can be traced back several generations of obvious issues and dysfunction. I will guess she was Bipolar but there were a few incidents I recall now that might be suggestive of schizophrenia. She was also a closet alcoholic - which is common for people to self-medicate untreated mental health issues. Whatever it was I was her emotional punching bag. Oh I don't mean literally but she took out her problems on me. She was my biggest bully in life and seemed set on cruelty towards me - even publicly. The most difficult part about it all is that owing to her poor mental health it didn't take much to set her off and consequently I never knew when the attacks would happen. She was this way until her death. I don't think I ever got an I love you. I spent my life trying to fly under the radar in desperate attempts to avoid her wrath.
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OCD1972
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Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
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#8
I grew up with a mom that was undiagnosed bipolar and as such was unmedicated. She was diagnosed and medicated a little after I turned 18. In some respects I have turned out okay, I work, I function somewhat as an adult, but in some respects I will always be damaged. I take psych meds and probably will have to for my whole life for depression with psychotic features and for anxiety. I have trouble with some aspects of adulting. But I've decided to not have kids. The madness can stop with me. HUGS Kit
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MoxieDoxie, OCD1972
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: UK
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#9
My mother had a diagnosis of schizophrenia. She later got a diagnosis of bipolar, though I don't know if that was in addition to, or replacing the schizophrenia diagnosis. She used to hear voices which was scary for me as a child, because I didn't know wtf was going on when she started freaking out about voices she could hear shouting her name and stuff. I wouldn't say I came through unscathed, but I coped, mostly by convincing myself that I didn't need my mother's love. I still have trouble imagining that I must have needed it at some point. I think it's closely linked to the aching emptiness I've been working on in therapy lately.
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OCD1972, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
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#10
My mother is bipolar with psychotic breaks and DID. Some parts didn’t know she had a child, other lived in homes different from where I lived, still others doted on me.
Have not gotten into this with Awesome T yet... but if anyone can help me find healing he will. __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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