Couch 195: The Galaxy couch

WarmFuzzySocks · May 10, 2019, 06:14 PM

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THIS was what I needed.

Seriously, therapy yesterday to jump start sorting out the stress, time spent with my boys this morning, and a sunny day hike, and I feel right as rain.

Every sh***y thing is still sh***y, but some of the weight has lifted.

Which reminds me...formerly fat cat is looking more spry and hasn’t lost any more weight; kid is looking just fine and says heart meds seem to be working. Whew. So I guess a couple of the things that were hard or scary are easing.

Off to visit with a friend. Hugs and sunshine all around, Couch.

May 10, 2019, 06:28 PM

I had the best nights sleep in 4 years on my new mattress, at least not going to therapy gave me spare money to buy them. My D slept well too even though her old mattress wasn't as bad as mine

May 10, 2019, 08:06 PM

Would I be able to pm someone who is familiar with my recent T situation my letter I sent of Thursday. I can't see anything in there that would warrant a sudden rush of concern. I can recap my texts if that helps sorry jutrelised you send attachments as pm . Pm me my way and I will work something out

May 10, 2019, 08:08 PM

Is there anyone around now? And I willl briefly put the letter up here in an album on my profile.

May 10, 2019, 08:12 PM

I will be around for most the day so let me know pleaes

May 10, 2019, 08:34 PM

I'm here, bcm

May 10, 2019, 08:35 PM

I'm on Tapatalk on my phone tho I don't know how to access albums on this.

May 10, 2019, 08:55 PM

If anyone else wants to comment the folder marked T letter will be available for 40 more minutes. There is nothing reallly personal it's just a list of questions

May 10, 2019, 09:02 PM

In my mind, i think those are all good and reasonable questions to want answers to. And none seem like they would cause a rush of concern. More like things your t would need to think about, do some self-examination, before answering.

May 10, 2019, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

I'm on Tapatalk on my phone tho I don't know how to access albums on this.

Can you go through your browser?

May 10, 2019, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

In my mind, i think those are all good and reasonable questions to want answers to. And none seem urgent.

That's what I thought but I am afraid he always seemed to sees things differently, but I have such a poor memory I rely on others but I definitely remember him saying those things and the point where he started putting doubts in by saying I am taking a long time.

unaluna · May 10, 2019, 09:08 PM

Hi BCM. It sounds like you are asking, why did you (t) promise to be my t, and then stop keeping that promise?

So it does sound like ethically, he left you hanging. And it sounds like your gp and other people ARE trying to get you set up with a new t.

My t likes to quote the Rolling Stones - "you cant always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you might find you get what you need." I think thats the best we can hope for.

How else can we help?

unaluna · May 10, 2019, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

That's what I thought but I am afraid he always seemed to sees things differently, but I have such a poor memory I rely on others but I definitely remember him saying those things and the point where he started putting doubts in by saying I am taking a long time.

I took longer! He can shut up! Ts dont understand emotional neglect. It is just starting to catch on here, not sure if it would be faster or slower there. Some things you guys are ahead of us on.

May 10, 2019, 09:11 PM

My main issue is with last session where I came in prepared to fully commit and trust and he brought up me going to see other Ts which I thought we had worked out and I got angry and said ok I will go because it seemed like he was asking me go. Then when I calmed down and realised I didn't want to go he said no. We did have an agreement that if it wasn't working we could say so and we would end, but it seemed like he was goading me over the last couple of sessions. I did send him a text saying he got himself off on an ethical technicality sometime over the last month

unaluna · May 10, 2019, 09:14 PM

It seems like you want to change his mind and not have this be the end. For him to admit he was wrong and take you back as a client.

Eta - this might be what you have to hash out with a new t? The ending with the old t will be the beginning with the new t?

May 10, 2019, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Hi BCM. It sounds like you are asking, why did you (t) promise to be my t, and then stop keeping that promise?

So it does sound like ethically, he left you hanging. And it sounds like your gp and other people ARE trying to get you set up with a new t.

My t likes to quote the Rolling Stones - "you cant always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you might find you get what you need." I think thats the best we can hope for.

How else can we help?

But I don't want another t i was just starting to trust him and if it takes that long and they get bored they will leave and I just cant do that.

May 10, 2019, 09:14 PM

I just wanted to know if they were reasonable questions

May 10, 2019, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

It seems like you want to change his mind and not have this be the end. For him to admit he was wrong and take you back as a client.

Yes I know that won't happen though and I don't know how to accept this.

May 10, 2019, 09:20 PM

Also straight after getting this letter he suddenly wanted to see me to set up supports until I see a new T which isn't going to happen soon

unaluna · May 10, 2019, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

I just wanted to know if they were reasonable questions

Youre the main building contractor, not him. Hes just an electrician you hired. If he quits, you hire another. You dont abandon the building. Youre the boss of the barbecue, as my gf says.

They are reasonable questions. The thing is, this is why ETHICALLY you could file a complaint, if your laws there are like ours. He did dump you. You SHOULD be very hurt.

unaluna · May 10, 2019, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

Also straight after getting this letter he suddenly wanted to see me to set up supports until I see a new T which isn't going to happen soon

So he realizes he effed up.

atisketatasket · May 10, 2019, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

But I don't want another t i was just starting to trust him and if it takes that long and they get bored they will leave and I just cant do that.

But BCM—would you ever be able to trust him after this?

Sorry, seems I missed the letter.

May 10, 2019, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

But BCM—would you ever be able to trust him after this?

Sorry, seems I missed the letter.

After my initial angst of getting terminated and over the last weeks I realise i probably wouldn't trust him as much, but 2 Ts have just disappeared on me and I haven't clicked with many more.