Therapy is bs/wrong!

I get what you’re saying, I really do. I didn’t know before going into therapy that these feelings would occur. It was something I learned in the process and learned how therapy works. I went into it blind. But it’s something to accept or reject. I find that the people who reject the way therapy is designed and keep the thinking/wishing for something different, stay stuck dwelling about the client/therapist relationship. Those who accept the way it’s designed can move on and work on goals to bring out in real life. You have a neediness in therapy because something in your real life is lacking. Is it nurture, love, deep connection or being understood and really seen? If you have those things in real life, you aren’t going to be so needy in therapy because you can get them from real from people outside of therapy. You will have fulfillment. Therapy can help you achieve those things in your real life through the “practice” run that therapy offers.

Upfront disclaimer: I'm sharing this from a place of kindness, gentleness, and calm.

It's great that we have this forum on PC where we can express our feelings. I "joined" PC almost 3 years ago (this month is my anniversary), and I frankly had to disconnect from it for a long while because I wasn't in a place of mental and physical strength to filter out what I did and didn't read and engage in. I came back a couple of weeks ago because I finally feel like I can keep myself in check.

That being said, I'm writing this as my last comment on this thread, and I'm going to stop following it because it's taking me back to place where I'm feeling overwhelmed and sorrowful.

I don't believe it is appropriate or fair for anyone to make a provocative and seemingly fact-based statement about therapy - positive or negative. It is no more helpful to state, "Therapy is the one and only cure for all emotional and "mental health" issues," than it is to state, "Therapy is 100% harmful and reprehensible for all humans."

It is clearly represented within this thread and in many others on PC that therapy is helpful to some people, detrimental to others, and just mediocre to others. Therapists are human beings in the literal sense, therefore, there are many, many different shades of therapists. I pose to this "group" that we keep the reality that our opinions and personal experiences are our own. It's terrific that we are able to share them and discuss them, but...

I personally don't find it helpful in any way to make statements that come across like facts, on a forum that is comprised of some of the most vulnerable and susceptible people corralled in one place, when those statements are opinions and/or an outlet for personal experience. I will not state that therapy helps 100% of humans 100% of the time, just because I've had a great experience with it. I gently implore that in the same spirit, we watch the language around statements that are equivalent to "Therapy is 100% horrible to 100% of humans in all circumstances."

I wish only good things for each of you, and maybe I'll see ya round on other threads!

I don't believe it is appropriate or fair for anyone to make a provocative and seemingly fact-based statement about therapy - positive or negative. It is no more helpful to state, "Therapy is the one and only cure for all emotional and "mental health" issues," than it is to state, "Therapy is 100% harmful and reprehensible for all humans."

You see a doctor when something is off physically with your body. They treat you. A therapist is the same thing, they treat you when something is off with you mentally. One client after another. Just like a doctor has one patient after another.

Because so many people are starved for connection and to be understood, they crave it and want more from their therapist.

Am I the only person who finds the prostitution analogy ofensive? I am by far not easily offended but as somebody who has suffered significant sexual abuse comparing therapy to is often routed in sexual abuse. Therapy like anything can be abusive but it us not the norm.

Everything the therapist does is for their own benefit. Their job is not that hard. They just sit there.

. . .
Therapy took me in exactly the wrong direction. It habituated subordination to false authority. . . it rewarded me for sorrows and victimhood.

It did NOT teach me more social ease or a sense of competence or equality, in fact, just the opposite. Relating to others like I did therapists--expecting comfort for all my suffering and sorrows--did not make me a friend magnet. . .

If a client wants a therapist to do nothing more than that then that is what they do. Other clients need more than that and often receive it.

It's a common analogy (prostitution). Google shows many hits.

I think the transaction is similar. Both involve purchased intimacy. One is emotional, the other physical.

I do think therapy has inherently abusive elements. I had one therapist ask if she abused me (emotionally) when the s**t hit the fan. Many therapy relationships i've read about seem abusive.

I used the emotional rape metaphor in reference to my therapy.

Am I the only person who finds the prostitution analogy ofensive? I am by far not easily offended but as somebody who has suffered significant sexual abuse comparing therapy to something often routed in sexual abuse. Therapy like anything can be abusive but it us not the norm.

Yup this was my session yesterday. He sat there with nothing to really say or help me. My week was about taking care of my husband who had surgery to remove cancerous tumors in his bladder. It was a rough scary week for me and this session was suppose to be a reprieve and self care for me but turned out to be awkward to sit there in mostly silence. It made me feel I was very alone. I should not have relied so heavily on this appointment to help me deal with my husbands cancer treatment.

. . .
But, if I understand what you are saying, I also relate to the idea that therapy abuse that is not in fact sexual is like rape, is also painful to hear. As a survivor of CSA by the people who were supposed to nurture me, I know that sexual abuse is a particular kind of humiliation unlike anything else. I feel no need to say X is worse than Y or Z or diminish the painful experience of the other, but CSA is not the same thing as abuse by a therapist (assuming no sexual exploitation). Otherwise I think there are many parallels in t The experience of therapist sexual exploitation and CSA, but that's not what most people talk about when they speak of experiences of therapy abuse. I have found reading the accounts of therapist sexual abuse really helpful to me, because understanding that an adult could be exploited by someone they trusted, then I knew in a deeper way that my resources as a child victim were not enough to stop it. It helped me let myself off the hook.

These references skirt far too close to the recent "consensual rape" reference, and are inaccurate, offensive, and misplaced on a mental health forum full of members who have experienced actual rape and sexual exploitation in their lives. The lack of forethought and respect for those experiences in perverting those references hyperbolically for effect in making a point about therapy is disappointing. These issues can be discussed frankly and honestly without resorting to minimizing others' trauma, however unintended. Sometimes being aware of how one's own language can unintentionally be painful to others and then consciously changing that language is an act of respect and kindness toward others.

Yup this was my session yesterday. He sat there with nothing to really say or help me. My week was about taking care of my husband who had surgery to remove cancerous tumors in his bladder. It was a rough scary week for me and this session was suppose to be a reprieve and self care for me but turned out to be awkward to sit there in mostly silence. It made me feel I was very alone. I should not have relied so heavily on this appointment to help me deal with my husbands cancer treatment.