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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,819
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#1
We tend to discuss our Ts faults and mistakes but what, if anything, does your therapist do right??
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coolibrarian, HowDoYouFeelMeow?, Omers, SalingerEsme
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 540
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#2
My second T was very professional about between sessions contact. Hard to find something about the first as he was very incompatible with me, but I liked how he was always exactly on time with starting and ending sessions, precisely 45 minutes and never late.
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HowDoYouFeelMeow?, SalingerEsme, thesnowqueen
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 2,790
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#3
I found my therapists got it mostly right.
Consistency Reliability Responsiveness Skill Communication Support I honestly can't think of any particular faults or mistakes of any real consequence. Actually, I can't remember any mistakes specifically at all which speaks to the fact that they were relatively minor, easily resolved, and of no lasting effect on our work together. We worked together long-term, and when the time came, we parted ways and moved on for a variety of reasons. |
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HowDoYouFeelMeow?, SalingerEsme
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,819
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#4
Part of why I see Emdr T is because of my abandonment/ inability to trust people. I tend to question the authenticity of what they say
Last night (and in other situations) she made sure to clarify what she meant. For the best few months I have been asked to be a part of a committee at my church. It is something I have done in the past and enjoy as well as benefit greatly from. The problem is the meeting are the same night as my therapy appointments and 1 hour after. I travel an hour to and from appointments with her. We discussed how to make it work. She presented the option of me taking a break for the 3 months. She quickly said that is not what she wants but it is an appropriate option that she would support. She also said that she knows that for some people it could be interpreted as her not wanting to see them or needing a break. There was another similar conversation a bit later. Both times I told her I didnt interpret it that way. In reality though, during my appointments I understand and dont question these things but then I go home and start to question everything. Just her making that statement made a huge difference. I can also talk to her about anything. Even when I bring up difficult topics she really tries to make me comfortable.i truly feel nothing is taboo for her. I may be uncomfortable but it us because of my issues She is flexible. When other things conflict not with my actual appoint time but travel tune she us very open to doing Skype type (not actually Skype but HIPAA compliant). She apologizes if she makes a mistake. She accepts me for who I am. She seems to know just how far to poke and prod.and when to back off __________________ Last edited by nottrustin; Jun 12, 2019 at 11:24 AM.. |
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coolibrarian
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coolibrarian, HowDoYouFeelMeow?, SalingerEsme
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,891
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#5
For current T:
He's consistent in responding to emails--always replies in some way, nearly always within 24 hours, generally sooner. He can take criticism and tries to improve as a result of it. He gives genuine apologies if he's done something that upset me. He pays attention to little details about me. He's generally very prompt in retrieving me. He'll let me go in for extra sessions if I need one and will generally have openings in his schedule. He's honest with me if something I say or do bothers him (which bothered me at first, but now I realize the benefits, after ex-T and ex-MC not saying anything until they were really annoyed about something--T would let me know much earlier on). |
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SalingerEsme
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HowDoYouFeelMeow?, thesnowqueen
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
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#6
Current T:
Compassionate Authentic He invests an amaizing amount of time and money into serious continuing education to be the best he can for his clients He isn’t afraid to use touch appropriately He took the time to do a detailed family chart to know what he is getting into He is human and let’s me see it He is really great at getting me unstuck when I freeze He has a ton of things in his “toolbox” for when I get stagnant stuck in our work He breaks thing like emotions down for me into smaller and smaller bits until I understand or they are small enough to be safe He isn’t intimidated by my knowledge of psychology or my memory He is amaizing at paying attention to detail..... __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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HowDoYouFeelMeow?, LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: In a land far far away
Posts: 1,584
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#7
He listens to me and takes my opinion and thoughts into consideration. If I criticizes something and can argue my point, he will change how he acts or responds to certain things. But at the same time he doesn't just react to everything I do or say, and he manages to have some emotional distance, which is important for me.
He makes time for me whenever I need extra contact and he's usually consistent about when he's around, when not, as well as session times and all that. He's overall very consistent and stable, which I really appreciate. |
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LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme
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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,302
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#8
My T is:
Consistent Reliable Responsive Skilled Supportive Compassionate My T is a good communicator: She listens to me. She apologizes when she's wrong or has hurt me. My T pays attention: She manages to follow all my digressions in session. She remembers almost all details of my life. I say "almost" because we've been working together for 30 years, and there is a lot to remember! My T gets me! __________________ In a world where you can be anything, be kind. ; |
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LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,796
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#9
Every so often the woman managed to just sit there, stay back and not make anything worse.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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koru_kiwi, SalingerEsme, thesnowqueen
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Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: Parts Unknown
Posts: 333
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#10
My T understands me and how I operate. He knows when to challenge me, when to back off, and when to just be supportive and understanding. He's consistent, caring, compassionate, and is often able to get what I am saying when I can't even say the words.
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LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2013
Location: CO
Posts: 2,305
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#11
My current T knows to listen and not be judgemental. He also remembers practically everything I've told him for the past year. He tells me I can contact him between sessions and has had phone sessions with me when I couldn't be there physically while in the hospital.
If I do call him he calls me back the same day or will text me if he's unable to. He's provided extra sessions if I need to. He picks up and calls me out on things I do during session like wringing my hands or if I go silent. |
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LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
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#12
She is exceptionally consistent within session and from one session to the next
She has an excellent memory and follows the thread of continuity from session to session. She remembers everything. She is very observant and picks up on subtle changes and shifts between alters. She cleverly helps us to get grounded when we dissociate (many times per session) She actively and deliberately cultivates a sense of safety in our therapy. She is consistent with her boundary setting and self care. She is clear and fair about limits and what she will or won't do. She is so incredibly consistent. I can count on her to be exactly the same every session. She is predictable, immensely stable, and fully present every minute of every session. If she ever need to be away on our session day she will ensure I can come on another day. When she is going away for a vacation she always lets me know months in advance and sets up alternative support for me. I just love her consistency. I have never had a T as reliable and steady as she is. I didn't realise how important that consistency is for my until now. |
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LonesomeTonight, SalingerEsme
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,845
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#13
Consistency
Proximity Safety __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 189
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#14
My T is supportive, but willing to challenge my assumptions and thoughts. She's warm, I feel welcome and safe in her presence. She does her best to work with me at my pace and apologizes sincerely when she makes mistakes. She pays close attention to what I'm saying. She also doesn't take what I say personally.
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nottrustin, SalingerEsme
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2014
Location: Earth
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#15
My T is very consistent, an excellent listener and responds to out of contact communication extremely well. She also will text my pdoc if she has any concerns.
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nottrustin, SalingerEsme
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Grand Member
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 876
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#16
My t does a lot of things right, I feel pretty lucky to have him.
He’s consistent, kind, and honest. He’s really good at reading me and picking up on subtleties that no one else would notice. Whenever he makes a mistake, he genuinely apologizes and doesn’t get defensive. He’s really good at handling anything I bring to the table, even if it’s how I feel about him. |
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SalingerEsme
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SalingerEsme
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: Neverland
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#17
M, my T, embraces that trauma work is messy, and is forgiving of me and himself. He is insightful and has a beautiful turn of phrase that often stay with me. He is very funny, with a black humor that genuinely makes me laugh in the midst of struggle. He is very experienced with life, live, and listening, so that his calm makes me calm. He is also quite a character, with idiosyncrasies . He is really preppy, like from a gone by time , with lovely manners . He is rock solid on professional boundaries.
__________________ Living things don’t all require/ light in the same degree. Louise Gluck |
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LonesomeTonight
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,819
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#18
Quote:
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
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#19
Quote:
My T also has a rather dark sense of humor, which I appreciate, and he can be quite sarcastic. It can help with the connection to laugh together in session--and I like it when I can make him laugh. There was a T I saw once for a consult, and she laughed at like every other thing I said, which was a bit too much (I'm not *that* funny, though I imagine I was making more jokes than usual, as I was nervous). |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,414
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#20
While many here are not fans of my long term T.... He did really help me, the way he connected with me, although many see it as "unethical" or "damaging" was the smartest thing he did for someone as avoidant as me, I was able to really and truly trust him and feel comfortable with him. I got through losing my dog better than I dreamed because I felt the comfort of knowing he would be there for me.
So many things in that relationship we had would be "right" in my book... and honestly the only thing he did really "Wrong" was leave me the way he did. Baby T was pretty great until he got cocky. What I liked about him was he didn't do any out of session contact, he accepted and never judged my T situation and he was a pretty great listener, he even gave me legit homework, which was helpful. T3.... He would probably be the "best T" of all of them in a professional/helpful with issues sense but he's also the most guarded and the hardest to read. What I do like is that, he asks questions in a way no other T ever has, and it has stopped me in my tracks so much that I cry every time I see him. That's not normal for me. I also like that he gives me a 5 min warning before the session ends. He handles being called names and me being angry with him very well too. __________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
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LonesomeTonight
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