To complain / Not to complain - Unethical Therapists

Hello all,

What are the pros and cons of making formal complaints?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Im wondering this myself my last therapist and addiction counsellor did something that where unethical. The thing is im seeing another therapist in the same clinic now, my previous therapist retired last month and the addiction counsellor still continues to work there. I will be following this thread. Hugs

I had a T for a couple of months who had bizarre boundaries. Under a guise of 'equality' he began telling me about his mother... It definitely felt off - Anyway, I was concerned for future patients he might have and I think if there are grounds for formal complaint then at least one pro is protecting others. However, I imagine that filing a formal complaint means disclosing some sensitive info of your own and not everyone is able / ready for that. This is all pretty speculative - hopefully someone is better informed about this!

I did this with a psychiatrist:

Pros: helped me get closure on the whole affair

Cons: complaint was found baseless by state medical board as she “did nothing medically wrong” (narrowly true, not true mental health wise); a therapist on hearing of this complaint became convinced I would report her, which pretty much ruined that relationship when she told me she kept more thorough notes for my sessions than any other client in case I reported her

Only do it if you can deal with the cons.

I complained and lost. My complaint was "failure to refer," a category a researching journalist told me that complaint boards barely take seriously. I didn't have documentation. The therapist defended himself implying I wasn't tethered to reality. His "interpretations" would have required mind reading, but the complaint board was too obtuse to see through his equivocation.

It took fortitude to face the therapist's gaslighting and scorn, even from the page. I did it for my benefit only. I don't think clients have mandates to clean up the profession; I think filing a grievance should be for the client's process only.

I had motivation to complain but measured it in the context of what I wanted to achieve and could gain, and the prospect of formal complaint, for me, faded in that context.

Pros: showing my ex t she did not destroy me and that she will not silence me. Telling my ex t what she did to me was not ok, but I am ok (she was banking on me to suicide out). And getting the truth out there.
Cons: lengthy process, highly frustrating at times. The therapist that did harm seems to get the benefit of the doubt far too often. Almost feels like I get victimized by the system at times

I made a complaint, and I'm very glad I did. Because my ex T had "retired", the board had no course of action, but said that the information would be kept on file in case she reapplied at any point. I wrote about seven versions, but ended up sending mostly a list of facts both about what happened, and about how it impacted me. I got a very supportive answer from the board.

In my state, the complaint form is on the Board of Medicine's website.

wow, I really would have been pissed at a T ... implying they needed to keep more session notes for fear of being reported. Seems a fear of self rather that a fear of you. Also, letting you know to shape up, tow the line so to speak.

I personally am the type that would voice my opinion to this person and if you didn't smooth the feelings out, put it in writing to T and powers that be, not all would even try to put you in that emotional situation about your past T's grievances.

Do you talk this stuff out with the T?I mean how you think and feel about what or how the t is acting and stuff in your sessions?

From my experience only recently, not talking first to my t and finding out what her thoughts etc were, then doing my own processing of the situation, I think, it could have save a bunch of headache. Finally most of my situation has been resolved directly with T. Still by talking to my Social Worker, it started the ball rolling in the wrong direction so, now I am waiting for my turn to finish this other stuff...that never should have happened. My stuff was only a misunderstanding in communication talk, not anything physical. Turns out most of this was Boundary issues on my part, misunderstanding on how friendly and sharing of her own stuff was in fact keeping within her Professional boundaries and my feeling or need of making her a friend. I know T's are not friends...but I kinda didn't realize the stuff I was expecting that was contributing to my own feelings of rejection, anger and confusion.

I did do my research though it took some time and I found the best articles here at PsychCentral in the search for boundaries, that cleared so much of this up for me.

Same here as feeling we get victimized by the system.

I have to say, while I have had some problems with my T it was not a big power play on me or anything suggestive physically or gaslighting, but simply misunderstandings of boundaries and my not talking to her about what my feelings and thoughts were, but just steaming with the upset and playing this stuff over in my head without any direct communication. Finally the communication happened and it is worked out and I have learned a lot from this for sure.

I complained directly to two former T's by email -- the last one who terminated me because she "didn't have the emotional resources" to continue therapy with me and the nationally known, somewhat internationally known trainer and author who referred me to her and who saw me for 6 months while my regular T was on maternity leave. I got responses from both, and was therefore able to have my say, somewhat, even if I did not feel heard and told them that, too.

The way they can rip people off and blow us off is truly amazing. Call that "good boundaries" if you want. I call it heartless and deluded. But not, apparently in many cases, "unethical", according to the code that therapists themselves, not clients or client advocates, have written. That other therapists are offput if a client makes a complaint about another one is an indication of the ridiculousness of the system IMO.

But not, apparently in many cases, "unethical", according to the code that therapists themselves, not clients or client advocates, have written.



This isn't universally true. In the US, while the APA and other professional societies provide ethical guidelines, they are not binding unless adopted by the state boards that control licensing and the adjudication of complaints. My former T was on my state board, which still didn't have a formal ethics code, until he promoted writing one in the mid-1970's. He opened the board to a citizen advisory panel for input into the ethics code process, and established a permanent seat on the board for a non MH professional. I have no idea what the make-up is of other state's boards, but the diversity is because practice licensure is controlled at the state level.

I would always try to settle conflict / dissatisfaction directly with anyone first, before I complain to a third party. The thing with that T though was that he could not take criticism and became extremely defensive, threw it back to me with some twisted interpretation, just not receptive and was unwilling to discuss and take responsibility. At the same time, he encouraged me to go to session and tell him my concerns as a form of treatment, to express my anger. But what for if the concerns are not received really, I generally don't have issues with anger and don't tend to bottle it up, am pretty direct. It made no sense to me and I found it useless to pay a T high $ to just fight with him. So I just left.

In my case, it had nothing to do with my boundaries or needing/expecting unrealistic things from him. It started out with his sloppiness: he was repeatedly unable to correctly fill out his portion on my insurance claim forms, always made mistakes and I had to redo the forms multiple times and got very upset when I complained. He also tried to impose authority that he never earned and often talked to me as though I was a kid or something. And told me very inappropriate things several times. He was also a complete mess with his own boundaries. The guy is just plain insecure and incompetent, IMO. What is there to talk about, really, don't see how that would have served me well. He was also pretty useless for me as a therapist and actually would have made some of my issues worse if I listened to him. He also refused to respond to my requests for his therapy notes repeatedly - I am almost sure because he did not keep proper ones. Would fit with his overall sloppiness and unprofessionalism.

I tried to post reviews on my experience online but he managed to have them removed, together with other negative reviews I had seen. I am sure any complains would have been unsuccessful and mostly just would have cultivated resentments dealing with it. He does a lot of social media and I have seen him many times just removing critical posts, much like the reviews and his inability to face challenge in person.

Thanks, Xynesthesia. Your post provides a good example, I think, of what being in and observing from a relatively solid sense of self is like.

Those of us without that need something like that, IMO, in order to develop our own. It doesn't just develop out of nowhere -- common sense plus lots of developmental psychology, if you accept any of that, supports that idea. I expect I (unconsciously) looked to therapists for that, and their talking and writing about themselves and the importance of "the relationship" implied to me - or I hoped and wanted to believe -- that they could help with that. I couldn't see that they didn't have it themselves, because I didn't have it.

To me, It's a very dangerous and destructive situation. Is it unethical? I think it is unethical for the profession not to recognize the issue. I expect that individual therapists may not be able to, as yours was not.

Would it help to complain to a board? I'm not sure, seems unlikely.

Perhaps the best hope is to find a way to influence the licensing boards, through non-mental health members, if one's state has them.

Yeah maybe it helps some to influence the boards to regulate therapists better and to force them to operate in a more realistic way. The biggest issue though is that most of what happens in therapy is done privately and any evidence for misconduct remains very limited unless something is really extreme and has more physical/practical manifestations. I think those are usually the cases where complaints actually go somewhere, the more abundant subtle mind games and emotional manipulations remain largely undetected.

The whole enterprise is funded upon some claims that are quite unrealistic, such as the amazing healing power of the the super special and safe relationship with a quazi stranger. I think what would be helpful is to somehow make therapists not to emphasize such claims. In healthy, positive, truly secure relationships people don't usually keep talking about that but it naturally and effortlessly develops and remain present. I think some people experience that in their therapy (there are also such reports here on PC) but, often enough, it becomes more a one-sided obsession/addiction and creates more pain than it heals. Many Ts also greatly discourage clients from sharing their experiences, frustrations etc outside of the therapy, which is very unhealthy IMO. Relying only on one source, especially when it is pretty messed up... how can that be constructive? Many Ts sell exaggerated claims and premises that just do not exist. Including that a sense of self that has not developed naturally will magically emerge in therapy. At the very least, one's sense of self develops via an interaction with the external world and via experience, not in a closed room once a week for an hour in a mystified dialog with one person. If Ts wanted to help a client to develop that, IMO they should encourage the opposite of relying on them mostly and keeping their interactions in secret. My T, for example, often says in his media that a big problem with early life is often that the child does not have a voice and their needs and frustrations are not heard and appreciated. But then he deletes every single even slightly critical reviews and comments! I think listening to those and adjusting behavior consciously, to serve their roles better, would actually help Ts develop a better sense of self. But many of them refuse that very process and choose to live and work in a very delusional way. For a good way, I could not believe how delusional my first T was - it was actually seeing his online maneuvers a lot that helped me realize he really is blind to himself and reality. And cannot tolerate any attempt to break down the delusions, he would just call such attempts the client's transference or delusion. I am really not sure how the licensing board could regulate that, unfortunately they are not there when most of the *** happens. They can make ethical codes and professional rules but they won't help much if the misconduct occurs in privacy and if they are so biased to believe the provider rather than the client when complaints are indeed made.

I am actually pretty convinced that often Ts do not engage in written communication (email, text) with clients to protect themselves and prevent generating evidence. Just go to session and settle it there, in full secrecy!

I so agree with this. My therapists fueled my unrealistic expectations with actual and implied promises. The delusional thinking on both sides did the most damage. Most people in my life have been kinder than my parents and have helped me find a new sense of normal. But nothing mystical or magical is at play.

I didn't earn my needed sense of competency by sniffling in a room.

I assume a client only complains if the therapy process has broken, and respect and communication are absent. Prepare for full-on warfare when filing a complaint. My therapist saved himself by distorting events and depicting me as untethered to reality.

Agree. It's all so self-serving. Most consumers bend over backward to give therapists benefit of the doubt, which encourages therapist arrogance and entitlement.

As for formal complaints, not sure what the point is, unless the therapist is a true monster.. A Yelp review can settle a lot, quickly and easily.

If the therapist is sufficiently arrogant or self-righteous, even an official complaint might not convey the client's pain and injury. I saw how deftly mine evaded responsibility and blamed me for the communication breakdown. He refused to reflect on his actions and learned nothing.