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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,220
5 1,208 hugs
given |
#861
I wasn’t able to get any work booked for today. Oh well. I guess the house can use a cleaning. I’m booked the rest of the week with varying hours. This is going to be life for the next 6 weeks or so.
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atisketatasket, LonesomeTonight, Omers, UnderRugSwept, WarmFuzzySocks
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Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,188
(SuperPoster!)
9 12.4k hugs
given |
#862
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Jersey 4
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CantExplain, Jersey 4, Omers, unaluna, UnderRugSwept
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2014
Location: US
Posts: 2,202
9 121 hugs
given |
#864
I saw T yesterday for the first time in 3 weeks. I also cancelled a bunch of sessions upcoming because I cant afford both t. She didnt even ask why
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Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, Omers, unaluna
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
13 3,133 hugs
given |
#865
Quote:
Most importantly though he cares, he cares a lot. He was really upset about me being hurt/triggered by what I thought he said (we came to the conclusion together that he more than likely said it as a reflection or rhetorical question related to another relationship I was talking about and I missed the inflection in his voice). Unlike other therapists I have worked with his concern was 100% about my pain. He didn’t want to be the cause of pain, accidentally or not. He was very afraid that I didn’t show because of that and I would be stuck in that pain and the pain of loosing him... it was all a very emphatic, genuine “I don’t want you to hurt”. Unlike the last T who was always worried I would bash her professionally if anything went wrong, the one before her that was oblivious to rupture, the one before that who intentionally created ruptures and would not allow us to fix them, or first T who I was in a constant rupture with for two and a half years. __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,933
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.2k hugs
given |
#866
Sorry your session was shorter, but sounds like you were able to work through quite a bit in that time, Omers. Sounds like your T is one of the good ones.
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Omers
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#867
I was thinking the same thing as LT, Omers seems like one of the good ones! Hugs.
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LonesomeTonight, Omers
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Roses are falling.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,804
(SuperPoster!)
7 10.3k hugs
given |
#868
I asked someone yesterday if they wanted to go out to get fries from our fav burger bar today. They texted in the morning with a yes at 11am asking when I wanted to go, but when I messaged back to confirm timings they haven't responded and it's actually close to 5.30pm. Can I just turn my phone off now after waiting the whole day for them to get back to me?
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chihirochild, Jersey 4, LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, Omers, unaluna
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Roses are falling.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,804
(SuperPoster!)
7 10.3k hugs
given |
#869
__________________ |
Jersey 4
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Jersey 4
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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,220
5 1,208 hugs
given |
#870
Quote:
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LonesomeTonight
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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,220
5 1,208 hugs
given |
#871
I’m hungry. Now think about it for a minute Jersey. Are you really hungry? Probably not.
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LonesomeTonight
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
13 3,133 hugs
given |
#872
Yes, my T is definitely one of the good ones. I am sure he isn’t right for everyone but there are so many times I read about T’s on here and wish I could loan the person my T so they could know something different/healthier (IMO).
Sorry Lemoncake... planning is the most anxiety producing part of socializing for me. __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
LonesomeTonight
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
13 3,133 hugs
given |
#873
Oh, and I got my usual end of session hug with T. I could feel that last bit of uncertainty about if we were OK or not leave him as I moved into his arms, relaxed and took a deep breath.
__________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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ScarletPimpernel
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,439
(SuperPoster!)
10 6,489 hugs
given |
#874
This is exactly why I find hugs at the end of session important. It lets you feel the other person's emotions and tells you whether everything is okay or not.
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
LonesomeTonight, unaluna
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Omers
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2014
Location: US
Posts: 2,202
9 121 hugs
given |
#876
that's interesting that people feel reassured by hugs. I have been in situations where things were definitely not ok but there was still touch. I wonder now if the other person felt I was ok.
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LonesomeTonight
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
13 3,133 hugs
given |
#877
Quote:
I remember another service provider that I had hugged in the past though that knew I was scared and upset one day so insisted on a hug to calm me down. I said no and rather than accepting the no he insisted. He had no clue that I felt very violated by that hug... until his supervisor got phone calls from me and four others connected to me. If I ever turned down a hug from T at the end of session he would absolutely honor it but would also check in with me to see if I was OK. T can also feel the difference in an “I’m uncomfortable” hug and a “I am still really unsettled from session” hug. If it is the latter and his next client is not waiting he will ask (while still hugging) if it is OK to hug a little longer today. He is pretty damn awesome __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail
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ScarletPimpernel
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#878
Just put on a batch of red lentil chili, I hadn't made it since before I got sick! I've been missing the deliciousness. It will be mine again in about 15 minutes! Yum!
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Omers, unaluna
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LonesomeTonight, Omers
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,933
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.2k hugs
given |
#879
My T doesn't hug, but I tend to feel oddly reassured by the handshake at the end. It's a very warm handshake, more like a hand squeeze almost. And he usually smiles and makes good eye contact then, while wishing me well in some way. And sometimes reassures me if I'm seeming upset or insecure.
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Omers
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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,220
5 1,208 hugs
given |
#880
Turns out questioning this in my head and aloud here helped. I was NOT hungry. I distracted myself by going to Kohl's and just looking around. Despite the fact that there was a burger joint right under my nose while I was at the store-the smell didn’t bother me. I couldn’t buy anything at the store. (Not spending any money unnecessarily) but not sitting here helped. (I would have ate even though I was not hungry because I thought I was)
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Omers, WarmFuzzySocks
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atisketatasket, UnderRugSwept, WarmFuzzySocks
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Closed Thread |
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