Couch 198: All the Countries Couch

oh wow, suddenly I have to do the "captcha" thing to reply. LT wasn't that you that said you were seeing it? Weird.

Not necessarily a bad thing and there are excellent adjuncts out there - but it could explain a lack of rigor.

Aha, makes sense.

I think my favorite economics formula is how to find the velocity of money.

I just like the phrase “velocity of money.”

It makes it sound like money is zipping around.

There is high velocity money in my household does the velocity of money go with the law of diminishing returns? The less money you have the quicker the velocity?

My day is 6 hours old and I have nearly successfully distracted myself from exT except when I realised my trip would take me past his rooms, but I didn't dwell on things either

I bought a bunch of pairs of bike shorts, they were really really cheap. Now i have no excuse not to leave the house. Once they get here and i do laundry. And start taking showers again. I looked it up, i think i have diogenes syndrome.

Kind of—the formula is V x M = P x Y, where M is your money supply, P the price level, and Y GDP. So the lower the money supply the higher its velocity.

But it’s a macroeconomic formula so it might not apply to microeconomics.

I've sure had weeks when I was all too aware of the velocity of money flying out the door.

You’re wandering the streets at night shining a lamp into people’s faces in hopes of finding an honest man?

I still haven't looked up the velocity of money I am just having fun with concepts in my head
ETA just read back to @@ post

I had a colleague who assigned points like that for every task, utterance, and butt in the seat (not an on-line course). Her students were always seeking me out to explain whether their work was good or not. And it wasn't like she was training them to self-assess; she just didn't know how to grade and was phobic about making a judgment.

Ok, a little late but... my T said that ruptures happen in therapy and they are part of the process that we just have to accept because neither of us can control them. He said that he would never intentionally create a rupture and that he finds them painful and frustrating as well. He also said that because of my history throughout my life and my previous negative experiences with therapy there is a potential for us to have more ruptures than someone who has had a less toxic life. I have not had any experiences of healthy connectedness/attachment to allow me the chance to learn relationship skills and the ebbs and flows of any relationship. Without that foundation of things can turn out OK it is much more likely for me to have a strong response and for rupture. But, he hopes that I will stick with him and allow both of us the opportunity to work through it. His greatest fear with me is that we will have a rupture or I will trigger and just disappear on him and never return to therapy.

In my Astronomy class last semester, velocity had to do with both an object's speed and direction of motion. With money, I guess it would be the speed with which it leaves in the direction of out of my wallet!

Okay, need some help/advice. I have given L four gifts: a scarf, a pendant, and two books. Total, I spent maybe $30. I asked her if I could give her more gifts within a reasonable cost. She said she was hesitant and had to think about it. So here's my problem: why does she think she knows better about me than I do? Why does she get to determine if gifting is a good thing or a bad thing for me? Can't I decide that for myself? She said she liked the other gifts. Why does this have to be a big deal? I told her that if she rejects my gifts, I feel like she's rejecting me: a part of me that I actually like. And I told her gifting is one of my "love languages". And she knows I care about her and she said she cares about me. I also told her that because I only have four more months with her, I'm gifting more frequently. I really only want to gift her maybe two more gifts. One is the therapist survival kit and the other would probably be a glass painting. The survival kit costs maybe $10? The painting maybe $10 too?

How do I address gifting with L? I want to tell her straight up, but my H says I'm sounding really mean. I don't mean to be mean, but I do question why she and everyone else (T, ex-T, H, dad, etc) seem to think they know what's best for me.

I know if my T knew how much I spent on materials for the project I gifted him he would be uncomfortable... thankfully it falls under home made and he has no clue. For both T and Pdoc it just comes down to an ethics thing... the “rule book” says it is a no no and they need to remain professional and follow the rules.
I know my T especially struggles with it because he would like me to do more projects for him. He loves the one he has and other clients have found it beneficial as well. But, it is extremely important to him that neither one of us ever feel as though I have been taken advantage of nor can it be perceived that way by others. I haven’t pushed it as I don’t have the time right now but I see myself pushing it in the future.

Maybe it’s not that they think they know what’s best for you, but that they know what’s best for them and their ability to work with you. Maybe she’s uncomfortable with the gift-giving and is afraid it will compromise her ability to work with you in some way.

I have survived the weekend. With or without SH is a different story. I wanted to break H's hand this morning if that tells you how my day started. I haven't called T and last time I talked to him was on Friday when he called me. I'm not sure what is going to happen at my session tomorrow evening. I'm nervous already wondering.
I was going to text him tomorrow morning but for a simple scheduling question that can't wait until the evening. I found 2 therapists for my son, and 1 only works on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He only has 1 slot open on Tuesday at 4pm which is the same time I see my T. I would like to at least meet him and let my son meet him to see if it's worth changing my schedule around to work with his schedule. There is another T and I set a time for my son to meet him too. Do people usually interview multiple Ts or just go for the first one? I really don't want to adjust my therapy schedule but I want my son to have a good T. I'm torn on what to do and I already scheduled with one on Tuesday evening this week.

The kids' dad is gone, delivering middle boy to a dance program in another state, so the other boys and I got up this morning, threw some food in the lunch cooler, and drove the dog to the beach. Happy dog. Happy kids.

Eldest son sat in front with me, and asked if he could play his music for me, and I groaned inwardly because teenager music. He had it on random selection, and here's who we listened to, that I remember: Earth Wind and Fire, Bon Jovi, Elton John, Frank Sinatra, Toto, Coldplay, George Michael, lots of Queen, and some pretty good songs from people I'd never heard of.

I only vetoed one song, barking dogs yiping out some tune.