[atisketatasket]

How many of you have end of session rituals? Besides paying or handshakes or hugs.

My therapist wants to start one (I complained a couple sessions ago that it never felt like we wrapped up our sessions beyond her asking “Anything else?”). I don’t really feel the need for one so long as she stops asking that because it’s incredibly irritating. But I am curious if others use them and if so what are they and/or do they help.

What my therapist does with other clients:
-they rate the session from each of their perspectives and discuss
-if the client is religious, they pray together
-or if the client prefers, the therapist prays over them
-they read something the client has written together
-they do some psychodrama exercise together
-they do something physical together like a yoga pose
-they each share a quote meaningful to them

None of these are for me except maybe the quote thing (and mainly because I have all the ones important to me in my head already and wouldn’t need to go looking for one, i.e., no effort on my part, and I’d like to see what she comes up with).

So what do you do?

PS: please no negative comments on the prayer stuff. I’m okay with the fact that my therapist is a religious person, and she keeps it well away from me by request.

[koru_kiwi]

besides the 'hug for hire' when i left, i eventually worked up the courage to ask T if he would be willing to spend the last 5-10 mins to read to me as the younger parts of myself found it grounding and containing to have a consistent ritual at the end of the session. for me, similar to the hugs, it also helped to foster a sense of closeness and connection.

[AllHeart]

No rituals here. Ex t used to ask at the end of every effing session, "what worked well, what didn't work well, and something else I can't recall at the moment.". It was all for her own benefit. It became highly frustrating to me so she eventually stopped asking. It's nice your t is interested in doing something that will benefit you and her other clients.

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

When I worked with a clinician for a specialized treatment, we would end each session by each teaching the other a few words in a second language that the other person didn’t yet know.

[nottrustin]

We do nothing special nor consitantant. Frequently one of us will joke about something. Think it is our way of releasing some of the stress of all we discussed

Ice cream is good.

ETA: Added my own option (ice cream is good) stolen from one of Stopdog polls.

[Spirit of Trees]

Me and my T do a debrief where I ask any (usually short) questions that haven't been addressed in session. I also pay at the end of session too before I leave.

[SheHulk07]

We don't have any special rituals for ending the sessions. It's always "We have to stop there for today. See you ___."

[susannahsays]

Nah. Not unless you count the way I have to wedge my way through the small crack in her door and skulk from her office without looking at her every time as a ritual.

ETA: None of those ideas sound at all appealing to me.

[Omers]

We “clean up” any prompts or materials we have used and walk from the “therapy” space to the “business” space where the tone between us changes. We do hug before I leave and he is the only T I have ever worked with that does not walk me to the door out of his office. I am liking the idea of adding to it other than the clean up though... hmmm....

[stopdog]

No. I would watch the clock and when time ended I stood up, tossed money on the table and left

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by stopdog

No. I would watch the clock and when time ended I stood up, tossed money on the table and left

Ah, but isn't that a ritual in and of itself? Cleansing?

[stopdog]

I don't know if it would be ritual or merely routine.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

I voted nothing special, but now I want to do a touchdown dance in the waiting room as I leave. I'm sure the next client (when there is one) would appreciate that.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

My T used to ask whether I have any questions at the end. At some point I said that I never have any questions when he asks that and shortly after he stopped doing that.
Now he reiterates every time when we'll see next and on which days I can call/text if I need to talk to him and that we'll figure something out if that's the case. It's really not scheduling, it's just reassuring me that I'm allowed to reach out, that he's not going anywhere. I find that useful, it takes away a lot of the pressure of whether it's okay to reach out.

[Elio]

me: I love you

T: I know

me: ok, ok

T: ok

then the small talk of when we see each other again.

The 'I love you' tends to come from a younger place, initially it was always from a younger place. Now, I still say it almost always; however, there have been a few times I don't and I didn't say it through our rupture.

*no comment on the 'I know', it is what works for me and is slowly managing to filter into how I talk to myself, between myself. Which is much better than either not even letting younger parts/needs exist or responding to them with derogatory/dismissive statements.

ETA
ATAT - I know this ritual wouldn't work for you (and most). I would say having the ritual is useful in helping me leave, since most times I don't want to leave. What do you feel would be a "wrap up"? What are you looking to get or what do you feel is lacking? In your classes how does the end of a lecture wrap up for you? What is it like if for whatever reasons the class time is up and you didn't get to what was the planned ending spot - are you able to somehow wrap that up in a way that doesn't feel lacking?

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by ChickenNoodleSoup

My T used to ask whether I have any questions at the end. At some point I said that I never have any questions when he asks that and shortly after he stopped doing that.
Now he reiterates every time when we'll see next and on which days I can call/text if I need to talk to him and that we'll figure something out if that's the case. It's really not scheduling, it's just reassuring me that I'm allowed to reach out, that he's not going anywhere. I find that useful, it takes away a lot of the pressure of whether it's okay to reach out.

Mine will do the reiterating of when he might be available, like if I'd want and earlier session, and remind me that I know his email policy (always OK to email, just might be a charge if I want long reply) if I've had a particularly difficult/emotional session. It helps to hear that, even though deep down I know it.

[LonesomeTonight]

This is making me wonder if I need some sort of ritual. Probably not like the ones you listed, @@, but just *something* more regular and calming when it's near time to leave. I mean, we do scheduling, I pay, we shake hands, he'll usually say "Have a good week" or "weekend" (depending on the day) and will often say "Take care" when he remembers (I've told him that it has meaning to me). Since we've discussed it, he's gotten better than the seemingly completely random parting words--I especially think of a time when I had a really tough session and was stressed about something coming up, and he was like, "Enjoy!" when we shook hands, which seemed incongruous with what had happened (he often said "Good luck out there" too, which feels a bit random, but it also seems to fit him). It wasn't the sort of ritual you're talking about, but I kind of liked how ex-MC would nearly always say "It was good to see you" when we shook hands at the end. Just because it was predictable and felt nice to hear.


But now I'm wondering if it would help to end with, I don't know, a few minutes of mindfulness--the one time he demonstrated meditating and set the alarm on his phone for 3 minutes, and we both sat there in silence with our eyes closed for that time. It felt kind of nice, and could potentially be calming for me. But then I also have the thought of "I'm paying for his time, do I want to pay for x minutes of silence?" Or maybe it would help to have a specific exchange at the end. I actually think it might help me if I paid at the beginning rather than the end--I mean, at least there's the handshake there after (unless one of us is sick), but it's still somewhat awkward having paying and signing a credit card slip be the next to last thing I do (or maybe I need to just bring a check I can hand him--but then we have to order more checks, and I get some money/points back on the credit cards!) Perhaps I'll mention this to him tomorrow and see if he has any sort of rituals he does with other clients and if they help. As I know he said at a recent session that he wished I was leaving in better shape, as I was quite emotional. Maybe even some sort of brief wrapup at the end, or talking about what I'll be doing between the sessions could help? Or a reminder of coping mechanisms? The meditation, maybe even just 2 minutes? I guess I just need to try stuff and see what works.

[velcro003]

I wouldn’t call it a ritual, but my T is good at wrapping up and repeating the salient points of session. I can always tell when she’s winding down. Then i get a little pat/rub on my back on the way out. It used to be a hug, but she stopped thst for some reason.

[feileacan]

I don't have any ritual and I would not want one. The session ends when the time is up and I want to use all my session time for whatever feels right at the moment.

[autonoe]

Usually we just get to the natural end of the conversation and he says something like, "Well, think about ____ this week. I hope this was a helpful session." We say goodbye and I leave. If we practiced a new technique of some sort, he might ask me if I remember how it works before I go. Otherwise, we say goodbye and I leave. I would not enjoy having a ritual at the end of each session. It would only be annoying to me.

We always say good night and I love you to each other.