[Blacky89]

Just a panicky post from me..

I have therapy (psychodynamic) in just over an hour and I have nothing to say

I always tend to start the session, with ‘I don’t have anything today.’ This time I really do have nothing

She’s not the type of therapist who will initiate things if I have nothing. It is ok for her that we sit in silence and let’s me know that, but understands it’s not ok for me.

It’s not that I don’t want to go to session because of this: quite the opposite infact.

But I always feel so desperate to break a silence. Or I’m mad at myself that I can’t ‘do therapy,’ or that I have this opportunity to work things out with an amazingly insightful therapist, but that can only happen if I come with the things.

I’m attached. I can’t quit therapy. But I need to have something to say otherwise something bad will happen.

Any advice? I just feel like a defected human

[feileacan]

Why not try to talk about whatever comes to your mind at that moment? What sensations or perceptions you have? Or how it is difficult for you to start talking about something when you think you have nothing to say? Why not talk about how you felt panicky before the session because you have nothing to say, she will let you sit in silence and how that's very hard for you?

[Lrad123]

My therapist is also psychodynamic. I’ve gone in before and said I was stressed out because I had nothing to say and talked about my feelings around that including how I felt like I couldn’t “do therapy.” He was extremely kind about it. You could say pretty much exactly what you said above.

How did your session go?

[susannahsays]

If I told the therapist I had nothing to say, she'd probably kick me out. Last time I had trouble starting, she asked me why I had come if I wasn't going to talk. I thought that was sort of mean and didn't answer. Then she asked if C could be there instead, and that hurt my feelings, tbh. It was also a dumb question.

[feileacan]

Originally Posted by susannahsays

If I told the therapist I had nothing to say, she'd probably kick me out. Last time I had trouble starting, she asked me why I had come if I wasn't going to talk.

Really? Does she really do that? Would the T let C come if she felt she had nothing to say?

[susannahsays]

Originally Posted by feileacan

Really? Does she really do that? Would the T let C come if she felt she had nothing to say?

Probably. Since C is the so-called "main person," she gets special privileges. Like sitting like a bump on a log. I don't think the therapist would ever ask her to let me come instead if she had nothing to say. No, never in a million years.

[Blacky89]

Originally Posted by QuietMind

How did your session go?

I started by saying ‘I’m full of nothingness,’ and she was lovely as always saying it’s never ‘nothingness’ to her and that she gets a sense of how difficult it is for me to bear silences and hopes that I’ll get to a place where it feels comfortable to be with her while having ‘nothing.’
It’s the thing I want most. I think silence connects people, when they fully allow to just ‘be’ in it.. so I hope so too.

After that though, it turned out we did have something to talk about.

Thank you for asking

[Blacky89]

Originally Posted by susannahsays

If I told the therapist I had nothing to say, she'd probably kick me out. Last time I had trouble starting, she asked me why I had come if I wasn't going to talk. I thought that was sort of mean and didn't answer. Then she asked if C could be there instead, and that hurt my feelings, tbh. It was also a dumb question.

That sounds awful. I’d probably cry if my t said that!