[Omers]

When your T brings up difficult things do they make eye contact with you? Do you want them to? Do you make eye contact with them?

My T always has a reason to look away, “be distracted” when he brings up things he thinks may be difficult. Last session he waited until he was setting papers on his desk with his back to me to ask if any of my mother’s boyfriends (AKA the people who abused me) ever came to the house we talked about in session. I said I didn’t understand the question so he repeated it a little more directly and turned sideways but still averted his eyes. I waited until he looked at me before answering.

So I’m curious if eye contact makes other uncomfortable in those kinds of interactions.

[velcro003]

I think my T makes eye contact when discussing difficult things with me, or discussing anything at all. I never make eye contact, but sometimes out of my peripheral vision, I can sense her looking at me

I dissociate almost immediately so I have no idea.

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

Most definitely. I can barely focus on non-intense things while making eye contact.

[zoiecat]

I have no idea. I am only able to look at him for about 30 seconds each session. He is usually looking at me each time I glance at him.

[susannahsays]

As far as I can tell, she's always looking at me. I guess if I looked back, there would be eye contact. I can't really see her averting her eyes when bringing up something uncomfortable. Seems more likely that she would do the opposite. She's very direct.

[LostOnTheTrail]

R takes her lead from me - if I bring something up, and I've asked her to help me stay with those feelings, she will.

Mostly, I cannot make eye contact with her when talking about difficult things...nor do I want to be 'alone' whilst talking about them. Lately, I have asked her to move so that she sits directly in front of me whilst I am talking. I still cannot look at her...if somebody looks at me too kindly, the dam will break.

[kaleidoscopeheart]

T usually makes eye contact when discussing or bringing up difficult things... but I rarely engage. I often look out the window or at a painting on the wall because eye contact is painful. :P

[Amyjay]

My T looks at me constantly. Sometimes I have to tell her to look at the wall or out the window or anywhere but at me. It is only very rarely when I glance at her that she is not trying to make eye contact.
Well, I can't control her but I can control me. I hardly ever look at her eyes, although sometimes I will just to make a point.

[DP_2017]

I've always been good with eye contact with people.

I struggle a bit more with people I think are attractive because I feel inferior. That is t3, he knew about that on session 1. However I've always tried my best to keep as much eye contact as possible with him, push myself through it.

Last week was the first session we had that I couldn't look at him, the shame I was feeling was so intense but he called me out on it within the first few minutes and talked me through it. It was awkward and tough as hell but I'm so glad he did, I was able to look at him the rest of the session and that sort of thing helps me learn to trust him.

With long term and Baby t, Always, yes.

[stopdog]

I usually only made eye contact with the woman when I was particularly angry with her specifically. Otherwise I looked at the wall just past her because she would make over exaggerated faces and try to look all empathically at me which always seemed a bit over the top and manipulative to me.

[nottrustin]

For the most part they have always been looking at me. I have noticed if they we are discussing something really painful they look in my general area but not at my face. I figure it culd be because they are really concentrating on how to ask it very gently. I also know they have both hve gtten teary eyed on occasion so I wonder if that plays into them not looking at my face for a brief period while they ull themselves together.

[LonesomeTonight]

My T makes a lot of eye contact, including when he's bringing up/we're discussing difficult things. If it's something I have trouble talking about, whether I'm embarrassed, feel shame, am worried about how he'll react, etc., I'll often stare at the floor or off to the side, sometimes at my hands. I usually try to look at him after I'm done saying whatever it is, but often very tentatively. He's usually looking at me already when I do that. I find that eye contact helps with the connection, and I generally try to be sure to hold his eye contact when we shake hands at the end, so I can sort of see that everything is OK.

[SheHulk07]

I feel like my T is constantly looking at me unless he's taking a minute to pause and give me space to say whatever else is on my mind. I always stare out his window when I'm talking about anything remotely difficult. Eye contact feels impossible for me.

[fouracres]

My T is very good with eye contact and I am not. Whenever T is saying something serious, T will look at me and not look away, no exceptions. When the conversation is more casual, T will often also look away. I think this is to give me an opportunity to look without having to worry about making eye contact. I appreciate it.

[autonoe]

My therapist never stops staring at me unless he's making a note. It makes me uncomfortable at times and I know that eye contact is something he wants me to do more consistently, but I find it to be too intimate to do as constantly as he does. It can also feel threatening, even though I don't believe it's intended to be on his part. I have a couple of spots in the room that I tend to focus on, especially when I'm talking.

[dlantern]

If it is important, ask to role play job interview. It might be possible to take it more seriously.