[SarahSweden]

I've heard different opinions about bringing critique about the therapist's style and approach already during intake sessions.

In my case my presumptive therapist asked me in the second session if there was something I wanted to say about last session and how it went. This is part of their intake process.

I told her and I had also written down some things which she read. But then I read about a therapist who thought it's too early to criticise him/her during intake sessions. I don't know when it's seen as appropriate according to some "therapeutic standard" but perhaps getting the question I got about what I thought about last session is a way to sort out patients they don't want.

Within public healthcare I feel a client needs to be careful about what he/she says about a therapist and the care in general as some therapists surely don't want clients that won't just adapt to their model of doing therapy. In such cases therapy loses important parts as honesty can't be practised and the client can't know what's allowed to say or not.

I think that clients should tell a therapist how they feel about them and that a skilled therapist will then have different methods and ways of relating so they can better adapt to the clients' needs. But I think it's more common that what therapists rather want is clients that don't "complain" and don't say much about the therapist or the process itself.

I've though read a lot of examples directly from therapists who welcome feedback and try to emphatise with the clients even if the feedback is negative. Those therapists have all worked within private practises and often they did a huge amount of sessions before getting their license, perhaps that affects how they are able to handle criticism.

[Amyjay]

I think in general, when a new relationship is in the getting to know each other phase, if you come out swinging and effectively saying "I don't like you or the way you do things," it tends to be a bit of a barrier to developing the relationship further.

[feileacan]

Sarah, sorry for being blunt but you really seem to focus a lot on things that are totally beside the point.

It's not about being appropriate or inappropriate. You as a client/patient can say whatever you want whenever you want. That's part of therapy and also assessment - by saying whatever you feel is relevant to say will give the therapist important information about you.

However, you seem to think that if you say something like you want the therapist to say something nice to you in the beginning or after the session then that should mean that the therapist will start doing that. It seems that you haven't really understood that the job of the therapist is not to please you but to help you start working on yourself. The fact that you give feedback does not mean that the therapist has to change their conduct or have to conform to your feedback. Rather, the feedback will give the information about the person you are and of course, sometimes (or perhaps even often) some changes are in order but this is something that the therapist decides based on their best judgement and knowledge about you and it's definitely not something you will dictate. Because if the therapists would submit to what you want then you could conveniently demand to avoid all these difficult and painful problems you have and it's the job of the therapist to make sure that you can not avoid them.

You have seen so many therapists and none of them has conformed to your standards. How convenient, isn't it? Because this means that you can dismiss them by saying that none of them was a good match and you can conveniently postpone looking at yourself and your problems.

However, maybe it would help to remind yourself that looking faults in therapists is not helping you in any way. You have a limited life time yourself and while you still have time right now to make a life you want for yourself, each time you are focusing on a therapist instead yourself, you are just wasting your own life and your own time. The time goes by fast and you one day you might find yourself in an embittered position where you realise how many chances you were given and how you turned them all down and how it's then all too late to change anything. But that's eventually all up to you.

My sincere and earnest suggestion for you would be to just stop focusing on therapists and their faults and try to focus on yourself and what these therapists offer to you. It's going to be very hard because you are so used to vigilantly observing others, but it's the only thing that can help you.

You have been several times offered psychoanalytic therapy for free by a public healthcare. This means that you have been basically offered for free the best therapy there is for the depth problems you have. You can turn it down and keep looking for a unicorn, and it's your choice. But it does not seem that it has helped you so far.

[elisewin]

Also if for example cbt (or any other style, I don't know which is it in your case) is what the public health care offers and has assigned you doing, it probably is not much use criticising the approach. It is more like take it or leave it scenario.

[cinnamon_roll]

Sarah, like feileacan, I think your question misses something important.

It sometimes seems to me you are not really interested in forming an actual relationship with your therapists. Your idea of relationship seems to be that it has to happen on your terms or it won't happen at all. Your criticism of the therapist's behaviour is all about controlling the situation. Again: if they don't "perform" to your standards, they are a bad fit for you and you are out. Ultimately you're hurting yourself with this attitude, it's not about you hurting the therapist with your criticism, it's about you hurting yourself.

This is not how a therapy relationship works. This is not how any relationship works. I read a lot of pain and suffering and loneliness in your posts. At the same time, with your rather rigid ideas of how things (relationships) ought to be "done", you alienate yourself from the same connections that you seem to yearn for so very much.

I can totally understand that this situation with the therapist feels strange and uncomfortable. It does for me (in fact it does for me with any sort of "new" relationship, in the sense I don't know the person very well). Especially because it highlights my own difficulties with relationships and I feel so much dependent on the other person to create the circumstances that feel comfortable enough to me. Because I feel totally out of depth. But the other person doesn't have to. And outside of therapy this controlling behaviour won't help you much with your relationships (in therapy it won't help you either...)

Why not try a different approach?
Why not try to sit with those difficult feelings, to start exploring them, to start thinking about what YOU (instead of the other person/therapist) could do differently to change this uncomfortable situation? It won't kill you, I promise! But that's where real change starts to happen. And that's real change that has a chance to transfer into your life outside of therapy. Another starting point could be to consider why you want to change/control the therapist's behaviour so desperately? Why is it so tremendously important, that everything else is depending on it? Bringing those feelings into the room as well, might be worthwile. Because it is not just saying to the therapist: "I want you to do xyz or else..." But instead it would be saying: "This situation makes me feel uncomfortable (inadequate, lonely, anxious etc...). I keep thinking if you did xyz that this might change..." And then to explore things from there. It doesn't mean that the other's behaviour will actually change. But it does give you the chance to take a look at what's really happening there. And believe me, there's much more happening than this T displaying the "wrong" behaviour (in your eyes).

[edit for typos...]

I think seeing "wrong behaviour" is unconsciously satisfying for some.

[Lrad123]

I think that it may depend on the type of therapy you are doing. My therapist is psychodynamic and it would definitely be appropriate to critique him and give feedback, but he may or may not make changes depending on the circumstances.

I think it can take more than a few sessions to know if someone is really a good fit. I’ve been seeing my T for 2 years and was very skeptical in the beginning. Like you, I thought he should make small talk at the beginning of sessions. I even sent him an online version of a 400 page textbook on how to be a therapist written by a psychiatrist at Columbia University, and highlighted the section on how to start a therapy session (which I thought supported my view). He was incredibly gracious and unoffended, but did not change his style. There are other circumstances where he has changed to accommodate my needs. I honestly respect him much more for not catering to my every whim. He is caring, but has a spine.

It has taken me a long time to shed some (but not all) of my skepticism towards him. I believe I would have had this dynamic with any therapist. Since I suspected he might be a decent human being deep down (despite my initial distrust) I made a commitment to myself to show up anyway and I believe it’s been worth it, although I still frequently start my sessions by saying, “I hate starting.” Anything I can do to get the attention away from myself.

[Xynesthesia2]

The way I see it, the question is not so much whether it is appropriate to criticize the therapist, more whether doing so is helping you. Is it? If yes, then do it, by all means. But if listing all these flaws to your therapists, moving from one T to another, does not help you get better in your own life... then I really wonder what the point is for you, other than avoiding the things you might truly need to deal with? Spending a lot of energy and time on a a rather sterile endeavor?

[here today]

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

. . .
I've though read a lot of examples directly from therapists who welcome feedback and try to emphatise with the clients even if the feedback is negative. Those therapists have all worked within private practises and often they did a huge amount of sessions before getting their license, perhaps that affects how they are able to handle criticism.

I had a different experience with a T in private practice whom I saw for 6 years before she terminated because "she didn't have the emotional resources" to continue. She had the highest level of qualification in my country and 2 years of specialized training after that. Was in a supervision group that was led by an author, consultant, and trainer with an international reputation, though not perhaps the first name people would recognize.

Like you, I thought that therapists wanted to hear what I had to say. I expected that from them. It is what they say about their role and I believed it.

I was wrong.

So -- if your expectation and their ideal of what they do cannot be realized in real life -- what do you do next? Maybe you'll find a therapist you feel OK about, maybe not. Is there anything you might get from the experience anyway that could be useful?

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

Originally Posted by feileacan

You have a limited life time yourself and while you still have time right now to make a life you want for yourself, each time you are focusing on a therapist instead yourself, you are just wasting your own life and your own time. The time goes by fast and you one day you might find yourself in an embittered position where you realise how many chances you were given and how you turned them all down and how it's then all too late to change anything. But that's eventually all up to you.

Thank you for this. I bet quite a few people need to realize this — whether it be in the therapeutic relationship or in some other aspect of life. I know *I* really needed to read this today.

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

I've heard different opinions about bringing critique about the therapist's style and approach already during intake sessions.

In my case my presumptive therapist asked me in the second session if there was something I wanted to say about last session and how it went. This is part of their intake process.

I told her and I had also written down some things which she read. But then I read about a therapist who thought it's too early to criticise him/her during intake sessions. I don't know when it's seen as appropriate according to some "therapeutic standard" but perhaps getting the question I got about what I thought about last session is a way to sort out patients they don't want.

Within public healthcare I feel a client needs to be careful about what he/she says about a therapist and the care in general as some therapists surely don't want clients that won't just adapt to their model of doing therapy. In such cases therapy loses important parts as honesty can't be practised and the client can't know what's allowed to say or not.

I think that clients should tell a therapist how they feel about them and that a skilled therapist will then have different methods and ways of relating so they can better adapt to the clients' needs. But I think it's more common that what therapists rather want is clients that don't "complain" and don't say much about the therapist or the process itself.

I've though read a lot of examples directly from therapists who welcome feedback and try to emphatise with the clients even if the feedback is negative. Those therapists have all worked within private practises and often they did a huge amount of sessions before getting their license, perhaps that affects how they are able to handle criticism.

@SarahSweden - Thank you for sharing your struggles in treatment with us.

I think there are different goals for different types of therapists with different kinds of modalities. Intake is not necessarily the same as therapy, so in essence, you are able to critique how you felt the intake went, especially if the intake process lasts more than one session. A recap on the previous session is a "friendly suggestion" you could offer at the next session, indicating that jumping into a new topic of inquiry may be challenging for you.

If, however, your intake sessions lead into treatment with the same therapist, then I would question that process if it isn't right for you. If you prefer different kinds of treatment that don't begin with intake questions, mental status examinations, and the like, you can state that.

Whether or not your insurance would cover different treatments is another story altogether, and a challenge that many of us face.

Your question concerning the "appropriateness" of criticizing a therapist during an intake session is something that you could actually discuss with your therapist during the intake session. You could say, "I don't know if what I'm about to say is appropriate or not, as it entails some criticism about what I'm feeling and observing during this intake session, but I really feel a need to discuss this with you at this time, and to figure out if there are alternative options." You could also state that you are concerned about their misdiagnosing you based on your suggestion or fears of the intake process, even though mental status examinations during intake look at everything - including what you say, how you say it, how you sit, what you are wearing, the history you mention about yourself, etc. It's best to be honest, up front, and open to suggestions during the intake process, but perhaps part of your disability includes having a hard time with that, which they will detect in conjunction with your other symptoms and historical accounts you present to them.

Guidelines for treatment vary across different therapeutic modalities and therapists. The therapist-client relationship is an important one, so expectations and boundaries should be stated up front - from both the therapist and the client. The first few sessions could address that in conjunction with the reasons what brought you to therapy. If an intake session is required in order for them to fit you with the right therapist, they should tell you that up front. If the intake process will take multiple sessions, they should tell you that up front, too. They may not reveal all that the intake process entails, as they are evaluating you to see what your needs are and presumably who you might be best paired with if not the intake therapist. If you feel uncomfortable with the intake process or the intake therapist, you could ask to speak with someone else instead, or figure out if they can recommend other services that are equally as feasible or that accept your insurance. You have rights as a consumer and a patient, which should be explained to you as well.

It sounds like you are new at this, or somewhat experienced in what your expectations are from a therapist. Regardless of what some people might assert with regards to their own therapeutic experiences and/or professional opinions, the treatment you are seeking is entirely your decision, and it needs to feel right and jive with you - within limitations. For example, if you are seeking treatment as a way to vent only, without desiring to make any effort to work on changing aspects of yourself, or if you have a difficult time with trusting anyone to share your story with but are needing time to build trust before working on trauma or behavioral problems (or both), then that should be stated up front. If you need a therapist to be empathetic and have a certain personality that works well with yours, that is also a viable request. Sometimes good therapists who are well trained aren't a good fit with certain clients. For example, a minority person who has dealt with race-based traumatic stress and daily microaggressions from peers and/or colleagues may request to speak with a therapist who is not only trained in those specific stressors and their sequelae, but also a therapist who is a minority. Additionally, a female trauma victim may request to speak with only female therapists, or a child maltreatment survivor of abuse from his or her mother may request to speak with only male therapists. A person who has dealt with many interpersonal traumas may request to speak with a therapist who is empathetic, warm, understanding, patient, etc. It's okay to assert your needs when seeking therapy. If anyone pushes you to choose something you don't understand fully (without any disclosure about what treatment or modalities are being offered, and what the process could look like or entail), then I'd look elsewhere for a facility that does explain those things up front. You don't need to know everything about CBT, DBT, EMDR, psychopharmacology, psychotherapy, Jungian approaches, Freudian approaches, Gestalt methods, etc., to understand what a therapist is trained in and how they can help certain populations experiencing certain symptoms. You have a general idea of what you are seeking and what issues you are dealing with. You also have a general idea of what your fears are, what kinds of things you are uncomfortable with, and what circumstances affect you deeply - those things can be stated up front to help you figure out the best therapist for you.

I hope these tips help in some way. Take what you can and chuck the rest.

Lillib

[maybeblue]

Personally, I think it is always appropriate, no matter what phase of therapy you are in to give a therapist feedback. And this is me talking from both a very experienced client and a very inexperienced therapist perspective. But the chances that you will get what you want depends largely on two things: how you ask, and if the therapist has the ability to give you what you want.

The skill of asking for what you need is a very important one, and there is no place safer to do it than in a therapy relationship. To increase the chances to get what you want you have to reduce the defensiveness of the person you are asking. The best way to do this is to simply focus on the facts and not try to make interpretations about why they did it. So just describe what happened. To use an example from another thread of yours: "I noticed that you walked me to the door, but then didn't say goodbye." And then say what effect that behavior had on you. I'm not really sure about this part in your example because I didn't quite understand why it was upsetting to you. You don't want to say something like "you didn't trust me to close the door." That will bring up defensiveness. Instead talk about *your* emotions. "I felt worried that you didn't think I'd do it right." or "I felt sad that you didn't say something to me when I left." Then ask directly for what you want. "Would you mind if I just myself out?" and then reinforce her in advance for doing that...tell her the benefits of it. "Then I'll be in a better headspace when I leave and I'll feel better about seeing you again the next time."

The other part of it though is if the therapist has the ability to do what you want. Most therapists can adapt somewhat, but might not be able or think it would be appropriate to make a radical change in style. I'll give you an example from me as a very inexperienced therapist. I had a couple of clients who said that I didn't talk enough. What I think that meant is that they wanted me to be more directive...to tell them more what to do. That isn't my natural style, probably partly because I dislike bossy therapists as a client...and because my experience is that people often know what will help, they just need encouragement and support. I probably should work on being able to be more directive because that is likely helpful to some people, but it feels unnatural to me in that role where I want to be supportive and accepting so it's going to take some time and practice.

[*Beth*]

My suggestion is to tell the therapist exactly what you've posted; ask your question to the therapist directly. I suspect that your question tells a lot about where you might need to do some intensive work, if you want to.

[Misterpain]

When I was younger ì sat down with a therapist ,who of course was a complete mismatch , I was there to work on severe abuse issues of childhood, just really someplace safe to "emotionally throw up" , they proceeded to tell me they don't talk about the past ,they don't care about past issues, they only work on things that effect your present life .

Call me an idiot but our past experiences typically have a huge influence on our present life as well as our personality and our reactions to life events .

So I said thank you No, your not what I am looking for ,nor someone I could develope any kind of therapeutic relationship should I need it .

Ultimately this guy persisted at being a jerk ,and showing up in my life wear he didn't belong and wasn't welcome ,I ended up filing a PFA against him to get him leave to me alone .

The relationship never would have worked and me telling him F no should have been enough ,it was a meet & greet session , that was an on ramp for the "crazy train" , so i firmly believe in telling them both what your looking for, what you need, and what kind of past therapy was most helpfull or effective ,if that happens to mean disparaging dialoge about them or past T ,so be it .

I have a boatload of physical health problems so I have like 18+ doctors, when one crosses a line ,I warned them not to cross on day one,I fire them .initially I felt it was unfair to talk about the idiots that led me to there office , but now I spell out exactly why I fired the last guy , yes "boundary violations" is a frequent issue .
It doesn't guarantee that the new guy will be better or smarter ,however the trail of "bodies" of past doctors and why they are past doctors can help them know what not to do ,I feel the same way about T or anybody else you consult .

If you hired a plumber to fix your toilet and they broke your sink ,would you pay them and keep silent ,I don't think so ? So telling the truth as you know it is perfectly appropriate .

[SarahSweden]

Thanks for your rich answer. The intake questions are done with the same T the patient eventually then meet for therapy if you decide to continue.

This new T asked me specifically at the second intake session if there was something I wanted to bring up about last session and I then gave her a document where I explained how I'd felt about our first session.

I live in Sweden and therapy isn´t covered by insurance. I can´t pay for therapy out of my own pocket and by that I'm left to public healthcare. I´ve switched therapists once at this facility and I doubt they will just refer me to another one. Even if they did there will be a several months long wait.

I wish reality was more like you describe, that a patient could chose from different T:s with different modalities and approaches and then find a T who suits his/her needs well. But that isn´t the case within our healthcare. Patients are allotted to therapists and you don´t get a presentation of the therapists or anything.

They look very carefully to which patients they think will stick to treatment, they don´t want patients who are "too ill" and they aren´t allowed to accept clients who are "too" functioning in their daily lives either.

Originally Posted by lillib

@SarahSweden - Thank you for sharing your struggles in treatment with us.

I think there are different goals for different types of therapists with different kinds of modalities. Intake is not necessarily the same as therapy, so in essence, you are able to critique how you felt the intake went, especially if the intake process lasts more than one session. A recap on the previous session is a "friendly suggestion" you could offer at the next session, indicating that jumping into a new topic of inquiry may be challenging for you.

If, however, your intake sessions lead into treatment with the same therapist, then I would question that process if it isn't right for you. If you prefer different kinds of treatment that don't begin with intake questions, mental status examinations, and the like, you can state that.

Whether or not your insurance would cover different treatments is another story altogether, and a challenge that many of us face.

Your question concerning the "appropriateness" of criticizing a therapist during an intake session is something that you could actually discuss with your therapist during the intake session. You could say, "I don't know if what I'm about to say is appropriate or not, as it entails some criticism about what I'm feeling and observing during this intake session, but I really feel a need to discuss this with you at this time, and to figure out if there are alternative options." You could also state that you are concerned about their misdiagnosing you based on your suggestion or fears of the intake process, even though mental status examinations during intake look at everything - including what you say, how you say it, how you sit, what you are wearing, the history you mention about yourself, etc. It's best to be honest, up front, and open to suggestions during the intake process, but perhaps part of your disability includes having a hard time with that, which they will detect in conjunction with your other symptoms and historical accounts you present to them.

Guidelines for treatment vary across different therapeutic modalities and therapists. The therapist-client relationship is an important one, so expectations and boundaries should be stated up front - from both the therapist and the client. The first few sessions could address that in conjunction with the reasons what brought you to therapy. If an intake session is required in order for them to fit you with the right therapist, they should tell you that up front. If the intake process will take multiple sessions, they should tell you that up front, too. They may not reveal all that the intake process entails, as they are evaluating you to see what your needs are and presumably who you might be best paired with if not the intake therapist. If you feel uncomfortable with the intake process or the intake therapist, you could ask to speak with someone else instead, or figure out if they can recommend other services that are equally as feasible or that accept your insurance. You have rights as a consumer and a patient, which should be explained to you as well.

It sounds like you are new at this, or somewhat experienced in what your expectations are from a therapist. Regardless of what some people might assert with regards to their own therapeutic experiences and/or professional opinions, the treatment you are seeking is entirely your decision, and it needs to feel right and jive with you - within limitations. For example, if you are seeking treatment as a way to vent only, without desiring to make any effort to work on changing aspects of yourself, or if you have a difficult time with trusting anyone to share your story with but are needing time to build trust before working on trauma or behavioral problems (or both), then that should be stated up front. If you need a therapist to be empathetic and have a certain personality that works well with yours, that is also a viable request. Sometimes good therapists who are well trained aren't a good fit with certain clients. For example, a minority person who has dealt with race-based traumatic stress and daily microaggressions from peers and/or colleagues may request to speak with a therapist who is not only trained in those specific stressors and their sequelae, but also a therapist who is a minority. Additionally, a female trauma victim may request to speak with only female therapists, or a child maltreatment survivor of abuse from his or her mother may request to speak with only male therapists. A person who has dealt with many interpersonal traumas may request to speak with a therapist who is empathetic, warm, understanding, patient, etc. It's okay to assert your needs when seeking therapy. If anyone pushes you to choose something you don't understand fully (without any disclosure about what treatment or modalities are being offered, and what the process could look like or entail), then I'd look elsewhere for a facility that does explain those things up front. You don't need to know everything about CBT, DBT, EMDR, psychopharmacology, psychotherapy, Jungian approaches, Freudian approaches, Gestalt methods, etc., to understand what a therapist is trained in and how they can help certain populations experiencing certain symptoms. You have a general idea of what you are seeking and what issues you are dealing with. You also have a general idea of what your fears are, what kinds of things you are uncomfortable with, and what circumstances affect you deeply - those things can be stated up front to help you figure out the best therapist for you.

I hope these tips help in some way. Take what you can and chuck the rest.

Lillib

[sophiebunny]

If you are looking for perfection in a therapeutic relationship, you aren't really looking for a therapeutic relationship at all. Human to human contact is never perfect. Searching for it just leaves you frustrated and your issues unresolved.

[here today]

Maybe it's none of my business, because it isn't me who is being talked to, but I am uncomfortable with people making assumptions about what Sarah seems to think or is looking for .

Having said that, I could probably call myself out for doing something similar -- but I did preface it with my own experience and my own mistakes. Mistakes which therapists did not help me realize but instead, IMO, encouraged.

From my experience, I think it would be great if therapists would tell or explain to people up front what therapy is about, how it works, what to expect, perhaps what relationships are about and how they work, especially if the therapist claims that they are relationally oriented or something similar. Maybe some people can go into a "therapeutic" relationship, or any other, without needing that kind of support, or help, up front. But I clearly couldn't. Call it a mistake on my part -- but where the heck was I supposed to learn, if I hadn't been able to learn it from life already, if not in therapy? It's like I needed a pre-requisite for therapy, before I went into therapy. Does that seem odd to anyone besides me?

[SarahSweden]

Thanks here today.

I agree a therapist should explain during the first sessions how he/she looks upon therapy and what they plan to do during the first session, for example asking background questions.


At the facility I am I think most patients don´t know much about therapy nor do they voice that many concerns about the therapy process. As patients are referred to that facility and everyone knows they don´t get beforehand knowledge about the therapist nor to chose therapist it´s seen as a "win or lose" situation. If you´re lucky you match with the therapist but if not you end up with a therapist you don´t click with.


I don´t think a patient should be "punished" in one way or the other for not knowing how therapy works. If you felt you didn´t know what would happen or how you should "act" together with a therapist, then it´s on the therapist to explain and "guide" you into the therapeutic process.

Originally Posted by here today

Maybe it's none of my business, because it isn't me who is being talked to, but I am uncomfortable with people making assumptions about what Sarah seems to think or is looking for .

Having said that, I could probably call myself out for doing something similar -- but I did preface it with my own experience and my own mistakes. Mistakes which therapists did not help me realize but instead, IMO, encouraged.

From my experience, I think it would be great if therapists would tell or explain to people up front what therapy is about, how it works, what to expect, perhaps what relationships are about and how they work, especially if the therapist claims that they are relationally oriented or something similar. Maybe some people can go into a "therapeutic" relationship, or any other, without needing that kind of support, or help, up front. But I clearly couldn't. Call it a mistake on my part -- but where the heck was I supposed to learn, if I hadn't been able to learn it from life already, if not in therapy? It's like I needed a pre-requisite for therapy, before I went into therapy. Does that seem odd to anyone besides me?

[here today]

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

. . .
I don´t think a patient should be "punished" in one way or the other for not knowing how therapy works. If you felt you didn´t know what would happen or how you should "act" together with a therapist, then it´s on the therapist to explain and "guide" you into the therapeutic process.

I agree. . .And/but they didn't, and I'm stuck with that reality. Not very happy about it, as I have expressed repeatedly. And/but . . .there it is.

I understand your situation is different. I got to choose my therapists but since I was/am so clueless the result wasn't any better than the win or lose situation that you mentioned.

I wish you good luck. Please keep us updated about what happens. I really hope things work out for you one way or the other.

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

Thanks for your rich answer. The intake questions are done with the same T the patient eventually then meet for therapy if you decide to continue.

This new T asked me specifically at the second intake session if there was something I wanted to bring up about last session and I then gave her a document where I explained how I'd felt about our first session.

I live in Sweden and therapy isn´t covered by insurance. I can´t pay for therapy out of my own pocket and by that I'm left to public healthcare. I´ve switched therapists once at this facility and I doubt they will just refer me to another one. Even if they did there will be a several months long wait.

I wish reality was more like you describe, that a patient could chose from different T:s with different modalities and approaches and then find a T who suits his/her needs well. But that isn´t the case within our healthcare. Patients are allotted to therapists and you don´t get a presentation of the therapists or anything.

They look very carefully to which patients they think will stick to treatment, they don´t want patients who are "too ill" and they aren´t allowed to accept clients who are "too" functioning in their daily lives either.

@SarahSweden i had no idea Sweden was so different. I am so sorry to hear that. So now I see the cultural difference and why you asked if it was appropriate. Hmm... I am not sure about the culture there or their therapy practices. It sounds like you could be honest but also reiterate your struggles and why you would welcome there help, and why their intake is hard for you.