[Omers]

I worked with a really good trauma CBT T many years ago that taught me grounding techniques for when I was having flashbacks and body memories. They served me well for many years.
Now I am with new, Awesome T and having a hard time not dissociating in session. T and I have agreed that I am always dissociated to some degree in session. When T sees it getting worse or I feel it getting worse we work really hard at getting me more grounded but not much seems to be working. Last session I could feel the chair, the floor under my feet, I could smell the familiar smell of T’s office, I could hear T’s voice but I was still slipping farther and farther back behind my eyes no matter how hard I tried. T could see it and we paused while he asked what would help. He ended up holding my hand which helped me not slip any farther back but it didn’t help get me more grounded either.
T is wonderful and I want to be more present with him but we are both at a bit of a loss. Right now we are dealing with CEN in infancy but there is CPTSD and it is possible that I was born drug addicted. I am not currently on any medications.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Out of the box ideas?

Sometimes it's good to just sit with the dissociation.
With time I learnt to talk through it. That way the true horrid feelings /memories surfaced.
Grounding techniques have never ever worked for me.

[Omers]

Thanks Mouse. I was wondering about that. Fr taught me that some things we just need to accept and sit with and they will or will not go away on their own. I do talk and continue to work through it which concerns T some because I can also trigger and stay calm and continue working.

[Amyjay]

My T and I do a ton of different grounding techniques and she usually just works her way through a bunch until we hit on the one that works in any given situation. For me personally doing anything that gets me into my logical thinking brain works well, and physical stuff usually triggers another grounded part of self to come forward. Here are some of the things we do:
Roll a small ball back and forth to each other across the table.
Stand up and throw small balls back and forth to each other.
Each hold one end of a scarf and tug on it, feeling the pull and force as we tug and release.
Teach each other words in a different language.
She asks questions about aspects of my day at work (e.g. she asks me to tell her all of the actions I go through to set up for the morning when I first enter the building).
We play card games.
In a soothing voice she repeats stuff like "it is 2019. You are here in my office with me. It is safe here. None of that bad stuff is happening anymore. Its all in the past. You are safe now."
She gets me to look at different objects in the room and describe them to her in terms of shape, size, colour, function.
She gives me little grounding fidgets like slime, a cube, twisty things to play with.
I use aromatherapy oils to inhale.

There are a ton more things that I can't think of right now. We use at least several different kinds of grounding tools each session, and often we use some form of grounding tool throughout the whole session (like rolling a ball back and forth as we talk). She just tries a different bunch of them one after the other until she hits on one that works. She usually has to talk through to us first (It is 2019... you are safe here...) before a more grounded one can take over the body to engage in more intellectual or physically grounding skills. Then we keep using the intellectual or physical grounding skills to keep ourselves rooted in the present instead of switching into a trauma alter. Some days it takes a lot longer than others to bring us back, but most times we get there in the end.

[Omers]

I am starting to wonder if I wasn’t switching rather than just dissociating. Others have said I have parts and I use parts language because it is comfortable for me. This T has not suggested that though. I also find it interesting because I am dissociating even though I know where I am and don’t feel threatened... maybe uncomfortable but not threatened. I certainly wasn’t triggered this last session when it got worse.

Hmmm... thanks Amyjay, that gives me another angle to look at it from.