I think the healthy part in all of us knows that even the best therapist in the world cannot ultimately meet our needs.

BUT I think there is also a part in alot of us who again and again keep hoping that maybe something will change. We hope against hope that what we missed out on can be reduplicated within the walls of a room.

Somehow it 'works' for some people but I think for others it's just an endless cycle of going round and round. We are chasing an elusive experience which can be about as emotionally satisfying as chasing the wind.

The therapeutic relationship isn't just complicated by our past/present issues, but it's problematic in and of itself.

I have to keep reminding myself that 'that person across the room cannot ultimately be the answer' or else it can leave a person bitterly disappointed.

Not unlike people who follow a faith healer from venue to venue hoping that the next time they lay hands on them, it will bring healing.

One person's medicine can be another person's poison.

Just because we know something logically, doesn't mean our heart knows it too.

[*Beth*]

I find your post insightful.

Maybe the whole thing is somewhere in the middle, though. In other words, for most people therapy is sometimes helpful...and for most people therapy sometimes feels like trying to catch the wind.

Sometimes I leave a session feeling understood and have some hope. Just as frequently I leave a session feeling understood, but not very hopeful, at all.

[Stuck1nhead]

I haven’t had a very successful time with therapist. I find they always misunderstand me or just seem disinterested in my worries and pains.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

Yeah I agree.

In my experience, knowing that it's ultimately down to me to do the work, to be motivated to move forward in life, is key. The therapist is there to walk with me for a while and provide some much needed support and care that I can internalise along the way. I've been fortunate enough to meet some truly wonderful people who have done that.

I agree that logical and emotion can be very separate though. I think it's natural for the child in us to keep hoping, keep longing. It takes a massive amount of courage to let go, and I understand why many people never can. Maybe I'm one of them that keeps on hoping, but I know what I've received from my therapists in the past has largely given me the strength in my self to cope with life, so my insistence has paid off too.

Very insightful.

For me, the ‘letting go’ part (leaving therapy), was where I found the most growth. I spent many years living in the fantasy my therapist could give me what I missed out on in my childhood. Therapy became an addiction and a double-edged sword. At one end feeling so gratifying, and at the other, so utterly lonely, empty and gutting. Therapy broke my heart in ways I couldn’t imagine.

It’s been over a year, and the most painful part is that I think about her every day. Sometimes with longing and sometimes with rage. To her, I am a closed file.

Whose truth?

[InnerPeace111]

“Just because we know something logically, doesn't mean our heart knows it too.“

Sometimes I think the heart just needs more time to catch up with the brain.

Originally Posted by InnerPeace111

“Just because we know something logically, doesn't mean our heart knows it too.“


Sometimes I think the heart just needs more time to catch up with the brain.

Yep that's me. My heart is still playing catch-up.