[Crook32]

So I am able to retire really early because I have made saving a priority. Going part time for a few years makes more sense then just retiring. I am worried about leaving the work force too early and missing out on income that I can’t get back. She said for my mental health I should go part time but that I am just being greedy. I would call it being cautious. She wants me to take the leap. I just worry about running out of money but she is certain that won’t happen. Her calling me greedy just didn’t sit well with me. What do you think?

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

I think that’s an awful thing for her to say. It’s rude, she’s supposed to help you discover your own needs not give you advice, and she can’t predict the future. What if you have a big unexpected expense?! If you ever did run out of money, it’d be tempting to show up at her door and say “You were wrong. Now pay my bills.”

Maybe some sort of weird countertransference??

[NP_Complete]

Is she also a financial adviser in her spare time? Not her wheelhouse. I think it's fine for her to say that not having the stress of working would be beneficial to your mental health if that's something you've previously discussed, but she doesn't (presumably) know the details of your financial situation so how would she know when and if you're going to run out of money. And she shouldn't be calling you greedy. WTF? I would definitely bring this up in your next session.

[~Christina]

I would be annoyed with the use of the word “greedy” I’d defiantly discuss it at your next session. If you can financially go part time by all means do so, you have been through enormous stress at your job. Take care of you

[InnerPeace111]

This does not sit well with me either!

First, there is no way on earth that she can be certain you won’t run out of money. The only certainty in life is that there is no certainty. So how can she be certain of anything?

Second, listen to your intuition. Do what you feel is best for yourself. Always. Only you know what is best for you because you are the only one living your life.

Third, if you are generally a saver and a cautious person, then honor that by making your decisions accordingly. You’ve made it this far in life and your accomplishment with saving money and being able to work part time for a few years sounds impressive!

Fourth, she called you greedy. I know it’s easier said than done but don’t take it personally. “Greedy” is about her and not you at all. That comment has everything to do with her stuff and nothing to do with you. If she thinks you are being greedy, that is her reality and not necessarily yours or anyone else’s.

Fifth, let’s say there’s even a little bit of truth in her comment about being you being greedy. If there is, it’s not necessarily a negative personality trait to be greedy. For example, if you are careful now and save a good amount of money, it just may put you in a position in the future to help others financially. Who says all the money you save today is just for you? How can anyone know that or predict the future?

That’s just my two cents but I hope it’s helpful to you in some way!

[Rive.]

How can she be certain it won't happen? Is she a psychic medium or have such future reading abilities?

Who knows what can happen in the future? Of course, as human beings who need to survive, fear of / financial security is important. How on earth is that being greedy? Will she bail you out if you were to need financial help?

She sounds rather deluded or overly naive.

[Crook32]

That is what gets me. She is smart and I know she has money herself. She wants me to either retire, go part time or find another job for my mental health. When I told her under certain conditions I could retire now she jumped all over that. We only have about half of the money I am comfortable with but I don’t count my wife’s pension or social security. My wife has to work 15 more years to get her full pension and at least 5 more years to switch and be on her insurance so that we have insurance in retirement. So how can I retire and force her to work that long? I mean we could take the cut in the pension since I never counted anyways. So that just leaves her working for 5 more years.

Financial future is so unpredictable. I would rather have too much and leave it to my kids than need them to support me. I mean yes this is a good problem to have and I don’t want to sound like I am complaining. I just never thought that I would actually achieve my goal and that it would be such a hard decision. I told her to just call me Scrooge McDuck.

I'm not sure why a T would see in terms of greed.

[LonesomeTonight]

I agree that you're being smart, not greedy. You never know what will happen, with you, with your family, with your finances. Maybe you'll be able to help out your kids, for example. This sounds so much like your T projecting. Maybe she's jealous that she can't retire? The other thing is, maybe you just like working, at least part time.

[MobiusPsyche]

It's absolutely not greedy. I think of greedy as wanting something for nothing, or wanting more than one's fair share. This is money you'd be working for, so greedy does not apply in my opinion.

I'm glad you handled it with humor (Scrooge McDuck). It was wrong of her to say it, and if it's still bothering you at your next appointment I would bring it up with her. Poor word choice for sure.

[Taylor27]

Not greedy at all, your therapist is wrong to say that. It's not her place to say that no matter what. I would talk to her about this the next session if it is still bothering you. Hugs

That sounds awfully judgmental for a t to say. I would say for sure discuss it. I also think greedy does not even apply here.

[Crook32]

I sent her an email but I know she won’t email me back. So I have wait until Wednesday to see what she says.

[Crook32]

She actually wrote back because she was concerned how I took things away from our season. She said she wasn’t calling me greedy that it was just a technique to get me to assess all areas of the situation but that is not how it looked to me. She said I rejected her theory and moved on.

Originally Posted by Crook32

She actually wrote back because she was concerned how I took things away from our season. She said she wasn’t calling me greedy that it was just a technique to get me to assess all areas of the situation but that is not how it looked to me. She said I rejected her theory and moved on.

I did wonder if that what was happening.
I think these situations are all interesting if talked about properly

[guilloche]

Wow. I'm shocked that she'd use that as a "technique". That's just... really unnecessarily hurtful, in my opinion.

Anyway, I agree with what pretty much everyone else has said. It's crazy to me that a T would use a term like "greedy" so casually, as it's judgemental and shaming! What the heck? How much does she charge - I'd be tempted to point out that she's doing fine, doesn't need that much, and is being greedy as well with her fees.

Also, clearly you're being smart and considering all the angles! Good for you!

[Crook32]

Thanks everyone. At least I don’t feel like I am crazy. I am not sure what to say to her. Debating whether I should email her back or just wait until Wednesday. Probably just wait.

I’m struck by the statement you said about your T wants you to retire. I’ve always thought that Ts shouldn’t want us to do any particular thing, it’s your life. I also think that retiring is not always easy, how can she ‘know’ this would be best for you. You said that your T said they were using a ‘technique’ by saying the word greedy. I prefer a T to be straightforward in their communication. Is there something a bit controlling about a T using a ‘technique’ like this where the client doesn’t actually know what is going on?