[stopdog]

Did a therapist ever ask you what you were taking away from that appointment at the end or as a way of ending the appointment? I was reading a therapist thread on reddit and several of those ****ers said they asked that question to clients at the end of the appointments. And I wondered what I would have thought had one of those people asked it of me. It seems so bizarre to me. The only answer I could come up with would be nothing. There was nothing to "take away" - it is to me a ridiculous question.

[SummerTime12]

No, but he will sometimes ask me if I feel like the session was helpful at the end.

[stopdog]

I would have had to respond helpful in what way? How was it supposed to be helpful?

[MoxieDoxie]

Yes mine did that for like a few months and it was annoying. He how the session was for me today and what I found helpful or not. I give him my resting ***** face when he ask that.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Yes, particularly if we had been working on skills of some sort. It was helpful to go back over what we had discussed for clarity. It wasn't an open-ended type of question though; it was more specifically related to what we had been working on. It also wasn't a constant thing that was asked, so I didn't find it annoying (probably because it wasn't a constant).

[GeekyOne]

My T has recently started (sometimes) asking what my takeaway is for the session, or even for a portion of the session.


I have not been remembering large portions or all of some sessions. She has been trying to identify when I lose touch, as she has said I present well/engaged. She thinks she (unconsciously) talks more when I space out. When she talks more, it also often means she's asking questions where yes/no/dunno answers suffice. So for her, asking more open-ended questions may call attention to that I'm not fully present and what my takeaway is may show when I "left".

It is not a question I always have an answer to though, even if I was present for the whole session. I am slow to process things, and it often takes hours or days to come up with a summary of the session and how I feel about it.

[JaneTennison1]

Never, no T I have seen asked me this and I'm glad

[SummerTime12]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I would have had to respond helpful in what way? How was it supposed to be helpful?

Good question. I think those were sessions where I was super depressed and wanting to give up, so the question would be referring to if my state of mind had improved. That way if it hadn’t helped, he’d know and could figure out how to help me stay safe.

[velcro003]

No, and I probably would roll my eyes at my T if she ever asked me this question.

[susannahsays]

No and I really wouldn't like it if one did. It would feel like some sort of condescending quiz. I prefer the normal "have any plans this weekend" or "how are your dogs" to some sort of weird wrap up involving me parroting therapisty twaddle back at the therapist for her approval.

What nonsense.

[Omers]

Yes, not all the time, just when he hopes I can answer. I usually send him an email within 24hrs letting him know what I found helpful, what I didn’t find helpful and my emotions over the session. He doesn’t really like email but he knows I need it as I process so much after session but would loose it before the next session. If he thinks I can answer he will ask before we wrap up and schedule. When I still can’t answer he smiles and lets me know he will read it later. It is very hard for him to gauge how I have reacted to a session so it makes sense to me that he would ask.

[stopdog]

But what sorts of things do you "take away" - which I think is different from how do you feel. I could answer how do you feel -"frustrated because I don't know what is supposed to be happening or how what does happen is supposed to be useful"

[Omers]

Things I have taken away...
People actually touch babies/children in healthy ways
My idea of needs (as opposed to wants) is very distorted and limited
A healthy person can actually love me and not hurt me
My intellect pushes people away
I am actually trying to do the work (other T’s have accused me of not wanting to heal)
My experiences are very different than other (non abused) people and sometimes even very different from others who have been abused.
My lived experience and perception of it is more important to my healing than the accuracy or inaccuracy of it.

[weaverbeaver]

Yes and I found myself being puzzled because a dr or a dentist doesn’t ask what you will be taking away.
I found it was more a question for their ego rather than helpful to the client. I felt obliged and under pressure to come with an answer to please the therapist.

[autonoe]

My therapist asked me this after almost every session. The first time it happened, I felt like I'd been put on the spot and didn't even understand what I was supposed to say. I agree with weaverbeaver that it could be an ego thing for the therapist to hear you repeat whatever advice they gave or to hear you compliment them in some way, or, less pessimistically, it could be a way to make sure they didn't just waste an hour of time. Whatever the reason, I hated answering and always felt like I just had to make up something so I could leave. It made me feel like a child having to repeat what I learned for the day.

[stopdog]

I was certainly never going to give a therapist a false sense of worth

[BudFox]

No but my main one did ask in our final session what were my positive takeaways for the whole process. This was clearly meant to reassure her. I played along like a spineless worm. Later on the phone I told her the experience had been a train wreck. She wept.

[liveitfullordie]

no never came up. it might be too hard to answer right away.

[Omers]

Originally Posted by weaverbeaver

Yes and I found myself being puzzled because a dr or a dentist doesn’t ask what you will be taking away.
I found it was more a question for their ego rather than helpful to the client. I felt obliged and under pressure to come with an answer to please the therapist.

In my experience people are visual and it is easier for a Dr or dentist to see that what ever you came in for is fixed... you are no longer running a fever, your lab work comes back normal, the cavity is filled or the crown is securely in place. It is much more measurable than goal and healthing in therapy.

[stopdog]

The only sorts of things I can come up after thinking about this a lot:
1. That the therapist did not have clue what to do
2. That there was no structure or purpose to an appointment
3. That the therapist just liked to humiliate and mess with me
4. That the therapist was a scam artist
5. That therapy was pointless
6. That therapists have secret agendas and want the client to guess at what to do
7. That therapists do not listen or hear

[koru_kiwi]

having to pay out of pocket for my therapy, i definilty took away more debt after each session

Originally Posted by weaverbeaver

I found it was more a question for their ego rather than helpful to the client. I felt obliged and under pressure to come with an answer to please the therapist.

ex-T did ask on occasion if a session had been helpful, and similar to weaverbeaver, i always felt put on the spot to come up with something positive to say. it didn't feel safe for me to give him the honest feedback for fear of hurting him, him becoming defensive, or him deciding to terminate with me because i was not finding his therapy helpful. so, for a long time, i chose to stroke his ego instead.

[susannahsays]

I think there may be a correlation between #3 and #6. That is, I think where the therapist is content to rest on her laurels (for whatever reason; laziness, sleepiness, incompetence, the mistaken assumption that this approach is appealing, etc.) and just sit there waiting for something to happen, there will be no structure or purpose. The agenda will not be so much hidden as nonexistent. That's my theory, anyway. I have seen many therapists on reddit insist on the importance of not working harder than the client. I think this sort of nonsense is what they're talking about. It's rather ridiculous. No other profession you contract for a service has such a stupid notion that I've ever heard of.

[corbie]

I'd like to view therapy primarily as a place of learning and experimenting, so to me this question would kind of make sense, as long as the therapist is willing to also answer the same question for her/himself. Heck, I kind of wish we'd asked that question regularly from the start with ex-T. Mind you, usually I could only have answered with 'I think I need a few days to digest'.

[stopdog]

What are you learning or experimenting with? I honestly don't know what that means in terms of therapy

[Xynesthesia2]

Mine never asked this but sometimes I said things in that context by myself before leaving or (more often) emailed them my conclusions a few hours later. They were just my thoughts in relation to what came up in session and stuff I associated with what we discussed, sometimes things I felt were interesting or useful. I liked to do this but preferred with a bit of delay (hence the email). For me, it was very similar to when I think about the content of any meeting or event and make analyses/conclusions about it, what I learned, how it was productive, or how it was frustrating, unproductive, useless... These mental summaries about outcome were not different at all regarding therapy than anything else, for me. As I said, I do it often when I process experiences and kinda construct a mental (or real) report. The closest I could compare it to things we read here on PC is the reports people post in the In Session Today threads or their own similar threads.

I would not like to be pushed by a T to do this though, especially not immediately at the end of a session... that is way too rushed.