Ugh she can be annoying

MatBell · Sep 12, 2019 at 04:02 PM

Some sessions just turn out bad. I go there feeling pretty good and optimistic and she brings me down...
I’ve felt this several times. If I want to tell her something I’m happy or excited about she never returns the excitement. And I end up just feeling down, she asks me things I don’t know how to answer or how to get out of situation I’m in.
And I almost snap at her. She comes up with the same phrases again and again or some spiritual babble that I don’t believe in etc.

She does support me though when there’s no on else. But I’m sick of hearing the same things that doesn’t really help me.

Do you feel like you know exactly what they’re gonna say just before they say it. You’re really just waiting for them to get it over with? And silently you’re getting annoyed hearing this for the billionth time knowing it won’t change anything.

zoiecat · Sep 12, 2019 at 04:17 PM

Forgive me but I had to laugh when I read the title of your post because I just got out of my therapy session and yes my therapist annoys me a lot. But also when he does say things that annoy me or do things that annoy me I tend to point them out I don't Point them out right away but after he's done it a few times I just come out and say I hate when you do that or you make me mad when you do that sometimes we'll discuss it sometimes he'll just say that's okay you have a right to be mad at me that usually when he's not going to change his stance on something.

I would probably really get annoyed though if he talked about spiritual stuff all the time I'm a Believer but I still don't want to hear that from my therapist I wanted to hear that I'd go to a priest.

Maybe try letting her know that what she saying is annoying you and not helping she's never going to know unless you tell her. Being annoyed?

SummerTime12 · Sep 12, 2019 at 06:52 PM

I’m sorry your t hasn’t been helping as much as you need! Does she advertise herself as a religious/spiritual therapist? Like a Christian counselor for example? Because if not, she shouldn’t be bringing that stuff up in session unless you bring it up first.

There are a few phrases that my t says a lot, and when I hear it coming I roll my eyes internally lol. For the most part though, I don’t predict what he’ll say. He does annoy me at times though—for me it’s when he goes on too much about the positive aspects of my life, how I can have hope, etc. when I’m super depressed.

seeker33 · Sep 13, 2019 at 01:10 AM

Yes, this sometimes happens to me too. It's very annoying indeed! Especially in the beginning of our relationship and when I felt she was quoting questions and answers from a manual! I wanted to slap her :-) it's better now when we know each other better.
Unless she is an official Christian counselor or it is somehow obvious she specialises in spirituality, she has no right to discuss religion at all! You have a right to say no to that and if she keeps mentioning religion then say goodbye to her.

01:55 AM

T doesn't bring you down. She's giving room for all feelings to arise, which has clearly happened by your feeling down. Excitiment is momentary. Often other feelings underpin it.
T isn't a cheerleader. She's there so that you can be real to yourself.
Yes I often know what T might say. But that's a good thing. It helps when we're on our own. That extra voice.

This is why T isn't like a friend. They're willing to look further than the excitement.

Spritual stuff? Like what?

Mopey · Sep 13, 2019 at 01:44 PM

I had to smile when I read this too, Matbell.

My longtime therapist had a sort of device rigged up in the window of her garage where I parked when I was waiting to see her. It was a light that was supposed to shine red when she was with someone and green when it was OK for me to go in. It NEVER worked right. It was green when it was supposed to be red, red when it was supposed to be green, or else it was one or the other and never changed. But I tried. Over and over I swallowed my annoyance when it would screw up and I'd go in at the wrong time.

Finally when that happened for the Nth time and she told me I should wait for the green light to go in, I burst out "I HATE that thing!!!" She seemed surprised. "You do?" It ended up being kind of a relief because I was always very careful about expressing anything like anger to her because she was so important to me, and it was kind of a relief when I finally got that out and she didn't get upset.

My best wishes to you as always.

MatBell · Sep 16, 2019 at 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mopey

I had to smile when I read this too, Matbell.

My longtime therapist had a sort of device rigged up in the window of her garage where I parked when I was waiting to see her. It was a light that was supposed to shine red when she was with someone and green when it was OK for me to go in. It NEVER worked right. It was green when it was supposed to be red, red when it was supposed to be green, or else it was one or the other and never changed. But I tried. Over and over I swallowed my annoyance when it would screw up and I'd go in at the wrong time.

Finally when that happened for the Nth time and she told me I should wait for the green light to go in, I burst out "I HATE that thing!!!" She seemed surprised. "You do?" It ended up being kind of a relief because I was always very careful about expressing anything like anger to her because she was so important to me, and it was kind of a relief when I finally got that out and she didn't get upset.

My best wishes to you as always.

I think I would say the same

When I’m really worked up it’s harder for me to hold back these things too. But I’m careful because, as you say, I don’t want to hurt her or cause friction between us. Stupid I know, a therapist should be able to handle that..

MatBell · Sep 16, 2019 at 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SummerTime12

I’m sorry your t hasn’t been helping as much as you need! Does she advertise herself as a religious/spiritual therapist? Like a Christian counselor for example? Because if not, she shouldn’t be bringing that stuff up in session unless you bring it up first.

There are a few phrases that my t says a lot, and when I hear it coming I roll my eyes internally lol. For the most part though, I don’t predict what he’ll say. He does annoy me at times though—for me it’s when he goes on too much about the positive aspects of my life, how I can have hope, etc. when I’m super depressed.

No she doesn’t advertise this at all. But know that I’ve been with her for a while I’ve gotten to know her. She’ll say “Well only he knows for sure” pointing upwards when we’re talking about my future. I think she believes in destiny and that we all end up where we’re supposed to end up.

sophiebunny · Sep 19, 2019 at 11:44 PM

Two years ago she changed all the rules for our communication outside of session because she wanted less contact with clients. Two years later she says "I did it for you". Good grief! I remember that period of time. It had nothing to do with helping me and everything to do with her freeing time for herself. At least be honest. I'm not stupid and I don't suffer from amnesia.

susannahsays · Sep 20, 2019 at 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MatBell

She’ll say “Well only he knows for sure” pointing upwards when we’re talking about my future.

That would drive me nuts and I would probably resort to sarcasm or trolling her in some way.

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Ugh she can be annoying

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