T I've said that I've allowed myself to only have feelings for dogs.
This was, when I was talking and one of my dogs who has serious illnesses. Epilepsy being her latest. I said to T how I if I saw a person having a fit I'd be fine. But watching my collie having a fit does me in. I'm always in pieces whrn I have to rush her to emergency vets. Have no control if my emotions. But humans? Nah that's fine.
So anyways. I'm out shopping this morning, see a beautiful collie like mine and its running on its own - or that's what i thought at first. So started to fall apart inside. Knowing that I'm a coward where lost animals are concerned. Instead of being moved to rescue them, in so ripped apart I have to get away. Block it out of my mind.
Why? I ponder this morning. Thinking what T would say, first she asked what that list dog means to me? And I'd say, it's petrified. It's desperate inside. It's lost its owner and someone's going to get hold if the dog and hurt it and it'll live in constant terror. Then T would say "that this is what happened to you at a very young age"
And logically that all fits. Well, it's coming from me. A part of me that holds the history. But I can't remember it being as bad as that coz it's my life. All I knew. I guess it's like projection. But into dogs. They hold all my worse feelings.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

Oh gosh Mouse, I am EXACTLY like this, only with most animals not just dogs. I can't deal with their pain and vulnerability, it breaks my heart. And yet with people it's much harder to feel the same empathy. I get it 100%.

[QuietTulip]

@The mouse,

I think that dogs can be amazing companions. They are loyal and almost always look happy just to see you and be with you. It is hard to find people like that.

I feel empathy for people as well, but I also have empathy for animals. I think it is natural because they seem so innocent, at least to me.

I am sorry you were hurt at a young age. Childhood trauma is, I think, one of the hardest things to deal with because it happens to you when you are just learning to process things and overloads your brain's circuits.

I think it's impressive that you are able to understand and articulate what you feel and why so clearly. A lot of people are still struggling to do that.

[Misterpain]

Mouse not to get on your case ,
But please stop using "fit" it's a seizure , "fit" is in many cases a loaded word ,with all kinds of baggage .

When I was a little kid my mom had uncontrollable epilepsy ( many of today's mainstay anti convulsant drugs made there debut in my house as "experimental" drug company trials .Not knowing it was under pinned genetically i had no idea what i could look forward to.

When I requested a service dog , they asked if I wanted "any special skills" ,i said not that i could think off ?

Not from training my partner inherently sensed a seizure coming and would come sit by me ,until I regained consciousness and make sure I am all right, he also had his own help button if he needed it or I asked him to push it ,not all dogs can sense it ,but those that can are gifts from God.

We always as people tend to "champion" our most vulnerable be it fur family or children ,many times we lose patients and yeah it hurts our emotions and our feelings however we say a prayer and move on.

I have honestly seen an entire company of firefighters behind their apparatus crying over loss of a child or pet in a structure fire ,but rarely seen that for a human adult ,they wrestle with "Yes,I know we can't save everyone ,but five minutes could of been a different outcome " rarely does an adult death chop us off at the knees like that unless we know the person ,and it's not every guy on the run .

If it helps any , despite the alarming presentation of seizures , we aren't aware or generaly in pain ( unless you hit something on the way down, I have actually fallen striking a pipe and fractured my skull and required almost 50 stitches, yeah I had a headache (That's pretty common ) the skull fracture and boo boo where news to me ?

So as far as ailments go, Epilepsy is "usually" harder to witness than suffer from ,easy way to describe seizures, your brain communicates with electrical signals during a seizure lightening bolts are connecting areas of the brain that don't normaly have relations , which causes the moaning, screaming , limb movements/contractions shaking, drooling, loss of bladder bowel control etc..patients are generaly unaware of the seizure , not all epilepsy is tonic/clonic, there are other "flavors" where people have "abscense " they dont know there "out to lunch" ,others around them can see them "off in space" confused or non verbal etc..

Thanks for being the person your dog thinks you are !

Fit is quicker to type.
Don't get hung up on a word. It's the sentiment that counts.